AIBU, to not tidy the toilet until someone notices the problem.

[Obie4]

I know they say pick your battles, and this may seem silly but I find it infuriating!
So, not one person in my house belives in putting empty toilet roll tubes in the bin.
I stopped picking them up last week as I'm sick of repeating myself, and telling them I won't keep picking up after them. I thought after a few days someone would notice, but no, we are now 8 days in and there are 5 empty tubes and an empty air freshener can beside the toilet.
To be clear, there is a bin NEXT to the toilet, and im not blaming my youngest Dcs as they are quite young, but husband and DD7 and DS13 are old enough to know better.
Iv been in and cleaned the toilet everyday, but have been putting the empty tubes back next to the toilet. Sounds so rediculouse, I know, but seriously, how hard is it to open a bin lid and pop an empty one in there.
This is one of many little things, like putting rubbish on my kitchen sides, when the bin is a few foot away! Putting dirty clothes on the hall floor, instead of in the basket.. the list goes on, but feel the empty tubes were a good place to start showing them the issue, and point out that they are completly lazy.
My 2 and 3 year old are tidier than the older ones.
Friend finds it very odd that I am making a point and not picking them up, and finds it silly.
So AIBU, or is it right to try and show my dh and growing child/teen that I'm not there to pick up after everything they do!

Oh and when they were younger, there were some easy jobs with youngest name already against them, so they had to join in, but only to their ability level

Another way is to say - each of us will take responsibility for one area (especially as you have 21 year old) they can chose and area

eg you have chosen the hoovering - the expectation is that the whole house will be hoovered once per week, so you need to pick stuff up off the floor (and specifiy what has to be done with it) and hoover, including moving chair/sofa, using the attachment to do the corners - whatever your standard is. The person who has the job says - Ok, I will do it every Tuesday evening, and if I can't wednesday at the latest.

Then hand that whole job over. You could even make little job cards with the requirements on it. After a month you could ask if anyone wants to swap.

(and I shoudl say, I think this is ON TOP of basic dishwasher, lay/clear table, wash up, etc)

Take the toilet rolls away, keep one for your own use where the others can't find it.

Take out the tubes, put them in a box outside bathroom door and lock the bathroom. Wear the key around your neck and when anyone want the toilet they have to emoty the box before you give them the key.

Or! Put rubbish left around directly into the beds of the offenders.

Does it really matter though? I struggle to get upset about things like this. Cleanliness, yes, but tidiness, no. It seems very petty.

step mum thanks for the ideas. I'll give it a try!
coastal your right, it seems really petty, problem is this happens with so many things in my house, the 'mum will sort it' attitude, has gotten very out of hand, all these little things really mount up.

Instead of trying to persuade everyone - which clearly isn't working (sympathies, OP) - could you allocate responsibility for collecting the empty loo rolls and putting them in the recycling to one of the DCs?

coastal - yes it is petty. A few toilet rolls is such a small thing.

But then add on the few plates left around and never taken to the kitchen, the few clothes left on the floor, the few shoes taken off in lounge and left where they are.

Multiply that by 5 people in the house.

Who ends up picking up the clothes to put in the wash, collecting plates to take to the kitchen, picking up the toilet rolls, picking up shoes to get them out of the way so we can use the sofa and on and on and on.

Mum.

and it is then a full time job running round doing their stuff, because no-one else does, and we would all drown under a drift of stuff.

Mum is not the slave, and nor should her family treat her as one, and the toilet rolls are just an example of that

I'd just play a little game, and tell everyone that they won't be able to watch TV, have games console, internet wifi password, favourite thing etc. until they identify what they have neglected to do and put it right. Make them think about it for once!

Like a mucky treasure hunt with the reward of having their favourite stuff back once they've successful found and sorted the bathroom rubbish. Don't raise your voice or anything, just let them know what's going on and see how long it takes them to find and rectify the problem. Have a cup of tea, put your feet up and read a magazine while they do it, if you are trying hard and they aren't then it isn't fair on you.

If I was tidier myself I would do this with my family if something was really bothering me, but I don't really have a leg to stand on because I probably irritate others with something I do or don't do!

Does it really matter though? I struggle to get upset about things like this. Cleanliness, yes, but tidiness, no. It seems very petty.

It shows a huge lack of respect. It's the attitude of "I won't bother picking up after myself because mum will do it for me". Then you end up with threads on here where entitled/lazy partners don't pick up their mess because their mums have always done it for them, and they don't believe they should lower themselves to tidying up.

I was always taught to tidy up after myself, and if I left anything, I was told to come back and sort it, pronto. If I hadn't, for example, tidied my room when asked, I wasn't allowed out until it was done. If I left a plate and glass out and didn't wash them up or put them in the sink, I was called back downstairs or out of bed to sort it.

Why should they be allowed to get away with leaving their mess for mum to sort out?

Make it work for you.