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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think SIL is acting up

97 replies

jnfrrss · 03/05/2018 09:14

She's coming to stay for a night this weekend. She always makes a big deal over she's addicted to coffee. Every morning she'll act as if she can't function, think, drive or do anything without a coffee.

Aibu to think it's just an act?

She will refuse alright instant or French press stuff but yet a Costa machine from a garage 15 mins walk away is fine. She always makes me feel guilty about not having a coffee machine and says ridiculous things like "I'll need to get a taxi to the garage".

She's not an addict right? I've worked in a and e and acaholics used to eat the hand wash so I don't see a real dependency with her as she refuses any coffee I have in the house.

OP posts:
mzcracker · 03/05/2018 11:26

She sounds really annoying. Costa coffee is horrible, I'd rather have instant.
Could you slip her some decaf and see how addicted she really is? I would.
Offer to get her coffees and just keep getting decaf!

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 11:28

I'm not a coffee snob, but those machines are disgusting have you seen inside them when they are filling them, filthy 🤮. This seems to be some kind of brand snobbery for her, we have instant at home for day to day, a cafe tiere and a bialetti. I don't really drink coffee during the week so the latter two only get used when we have guests or sometimes at the weekends. DM is a caffeine junkie withdrawal headaches the works, she will drink anything hot and caffeinated in the morning despite preferring a nicer cup of coffee. You can get Costa grounds for the French press in Sainsbury's, that's as far as I would go and even then just to avoid the irritation of your SILs histrionics. If we fancy a cappuccino at home I use the French press or bialetti for the coffee, warm some milk and froth it with a mini battery operated whisk I got from IKEA. If your SIL turned her nose up at that I'd probably throw it at her.

Original poster
jnfrrss · 03/05/2018 11:29

Oh she still complains about the Costa coffee and says "it'll have to do, I've got no choice" even though there are three cafes and restaurants just as near that do take away coffees but she says they take too long.

I'm tempted to try the decaffeinated thing!

She turned her nose up at a Lidl bottle of champagne thst had great reviews and insisted her (cheapest bottle non vintage) big champagne house bottle was better. She's an attention seaker and often speaking shit she knows nothing about. Glad it's not just me.

OP posts:
systemlakeland · 03/05/2018 11:29

It's just a bit of an affectation IMO. Harmless, but maybe a bit annoying if overdone.

You see all those signs in offices about being addicted to coffee, don't speak to me before my coffee, etc...

cheesydoesit · 03/05/2018 11:32

She sounds like Pauline from 'Mum'.

TorviBrightspear · 03/05/2018 11:40

I've got the urge for a decent coffee now.......

StellaWouldYouTakeMeHome · 03/05/2018 11:44

I only like iced coffees, but i wouldn’t be fussy which brand. Wouldn’t want a hot coffee though too bitter. Point is everyone has their preference

MissConductUS · 03/05/2018 11:45

Instant coffee is really awful but a French press will make lovely coffee, so I think she's just being a bit of a coffee toff.

Crispbutty · 03/05/2018 11:46

This thread has taught me that a French press is a cafetière. I honestly never knew they were the same thing.

Anyway, I have a coffee grinder, and a cafetière and a little battery op milk frother. My home made latte is better than any shop bought one. Your SIL is a dick.

Handsfull13 · 03/05/2018 11:49

Attention seeking. An addict would take what ever they could get and just have more to make up the difference in what they need.
I'd supply her decaf and leave her to it. She want attention just don't give it to her

IceSwan · 03/05/2018 11:51

I'd tell her you've cleared a space for her machine

Nofunkingworriesmate · 03/05/2018 11:55

I don't understand how this is a problem for you?
I know when I stay at someone's house they probly won't have my favourite foods and brands
Laugh off her comments or nicely tell her she's being irritating, end of.

Nemophilist · 03/05/2018 12:08

Costa coffee is rank.
Suggest she buy you a coffee machine for Christmas.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 03/05/2018 12:18

I'm not sure you can claim to be a coffee snob if your preference is Costa coffee. Naff.

Smile, nod. Bid her a fond farewell as she takes a taxi to get her fix. You can't help some people.

Ohyesiam · 03/05/2018 12:21

Coffee snobs don’t do costa. She just wants some attention.
I’m a coffe snob and French press is fine.

ArtBrut · 03/05/2018 12:21

Point is everyone has their preference

Sure, and they're entitled to, only I assume you don't expect your ILs to make you iced coffee exactly as you like it first thing in the morning when you visit, or else whine about getting a taxi to a garage shop?

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 03/05/2018 12:35

I think the best thing for people like this is to keep pushing their issue back to them eg "I know that you're particular so I'll just do my own thing and let you sort yourself out." Then take no further interest in her, she's attention seeking IMO.

I'm a proper coffee snob (I order monsoon Malabar beans to grind fresh myself) but I don't like Costa and will also drink whatever I'm offered coffee-wise in other people's houses, including instant, because a nice sit-down and a friendly chat is more important than the exact nature of the drink.

Bramble71 · 03/05/2018 12:36

YANBU. I think this whole coffee flap on is a load of rubbish. Why are people so desperate to be on trend with coffee? I just don't get it. She can make do for one night and breakfast, surely. If she was my SiL, I'd think she was a stupid cow. Sorry!

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 03/05/2018 12:37

Sounds annoying and dramatic. Just smile and tell her a local taxi number if she's insistent that she needs a costa...

londonrach · 03/05/2018 12:44

She hate my house...we dont have coffee or tea bags full stop. If my parents come to stay they bring their own tea bags and coffee. They left me a teapot and one of those glass coffee pots for their use. They leave in back of cupboard till they visit. No way could i store a coffee machine. Your sil should bring her own. I bring the pre prep machine everywhere i go.

Deathraystare · 03/05/2018 12:49

So no, she's not a true addict if she drinks Costs imo.

Yes

Costa machines make really shit coffee.......

and yes

It smells burnt and tastes vile.

If she wants to waste money getting a taxi to get a coffee then fine. Silly cow.

Loyaultemelie · 03/05/2018 12:57

I do need coffee to function but tbf would drink any even instant and I'd bite your hand off for some nice french press. Well actually not quite anything I can't stand mellow birds (if they still make it) but anything else

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 13:03

From experience I think instant in the UK is better than in the US where people are more likely to have filter machines at home

Spudlet · 03/05/2018 13:05

I am another one who staggers around a bit pre-coffee, in a slightly zombified fashion. I love my little moka, even though it's just a cheapitty-cheap one! But I'd never dream of fussing while a guest in someone's house - that's just rude. You take what is offered and are grateful for it, surely?

MyFriendFlickaWasAHorse · 03/05/2018 13:10

Oh she sounds like a bit of a twat tbh. There’s nothing wrong with coffee made in a cafetière imo. That’s what I always drink and I used to live in Paris and everyfink. Proper coffee drinker .