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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don’t lose anymore weight?

46 replies

hiblueblue · 02/05/2018 20:25

Aibu to be sick of hearing that and told I look skinny?

I’m still technically overweight according to bmi

OP posts:
QueenOfMyWorld · 02/05/2018 20:34

My mil used to say that to me.so annoying

DalmatianDots · 02/05/2018 20:37

Oh god, people do this don’t they? Even when people have just got down to an averagely healthy weight. I think it’s meant to be a kind of compliment.

WowLookAtYou · 02/05/2018 20:38

I'm beginning to get this too. Have just lost over 3 stone, and according to nhs guidelines, have another 1/2 stone to go to get within the healthy weight range. Already people are saying not to lose anymore or I'm going to look gaunt and haggard!

kaytee87 · 02/05/2018 20:38

If you're still overweight then they're being ridiculous (and possibly jealous?)

Tutlefru · 02/05/2018 20:41

YANBU.

My friend who's lost 5st gets this said to her a lot.

I think some people mean it as a compliment but I also have a theory that some people actually want you to be fat, either to make them feel better about themselves or maybe they're fat too and don't want to lose their fat friend..

Rainbunny · 02/05/2018 20:46

It drives me nuts as well. I have an old friend whom I only see once a year or so and every bloody time without fail, the first thing she says in a very concerned tone is "You're looking very skinny Rainbunny, don't lose anymore weight!" In reality, I've become about 10-15lbs heavier over the years.

iamyourequal · 02/05/2018 20:47

My mum tells me this every time I lose weight. Losing weight usually means me going from BMI 26/27 to BMI 23/24 so not even skinny! Diet until the point you, are happy and healthy it’s nobody else’s business. Having said all that as you get older it’s depressing when weight comes off your face instead of your hips (that’s just my own experience though!)

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/05/2018 20:49

It’s a compliment ! Someone (well one person) said that to me
I am still just over my BMI

On the pasta and wine tonight tomorrow is a new day

Once you learn the good habits you can’t easily unlearn I say

IJustHadToNameChange · 02/05/2018 20:51

I've had this.

I still qualify as overweight.

Annoying.

Momo18 · 02/05/2018 21:01

Imo people say it for one of 3 reasons-
-They're jealous
-They're a lot bigger themselves so someone slim looks a lot slimmer in their eyes, I say this as when I was pregnant I swore everyone else had lost weight, nope I was just fatter.
-the drastic change shocks them

ShirleyValentineswall · 02/05/2018 21:03

YANBU. Most irritating when said by someone who is the first to point out if you've put on any weight as well (can you tell I have experience of this?)

Teatogo · 02/05/2018 21:12

Or they might be right.

BMI is a really poor measure of healthy weight. I was literally borderline overweight according to BMI but was almost in the unhealthily too low for Body fat. There were a few issues with how my body was working generally and looking at the photos I did not look well.

I seem to look and feel best up to about half a stone overweight according to BMI, I'm still a healthy body fat even then. BMI is really screwing up our ideas of what is a healthy weight

Original poster
hiblueblue · 02/05/2018 21:24

Or they might be right.

But I don’t believe they are. I also don’t use bmi but it was just to give an example that people that picture more on here.

I’m a size 10/12 now and I’d like to be an 8. I’ll stop when I get there.

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 02/05/2018 21:28

I don't believe they're right either. And I agree with what Momo18 said.

I have said it once, and meant it, as the women was already and extremely slim (and beautiful) size 6/8 and yet was still dieting. Being extremely thin, apart from being unhealthy, would have made her look less attractive, not more as she seemed to believe.

Most of the time though people are talking bollocks.

kissthealderman · 02/05/2018 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spudina · 02/05/2018 21:35

I hate to admit it but...I have said this. To a lady who went from a size 14 to a size 6. She went too far. Didn't look healthy at all. When your head looks too big for your body you have lost too much weight. I'm not jealous. I just thought her gym addiction was actually unhealthy. Sometimes (but not always) when people say this, they are right.

Original poster
hiblueblue · 02/05/2018 21:38

Spudina you should keep your unwanted opinion to yourself.

OP posts:
WishIwasonHoliday83 · 02/05/2018 21:45

People don't know what underweight looks like these days. Overweight is normal, so anyone who is a proper weight looks like they're underweight

RedForFilth · 02/05/2018 21:47

People say this to me all the time. I hate it, I'm not even skinny just a size 10! Would also like to be a size 10.
When I was fat (size 14 at my biggest) no one ever said "don't put any more weight on". I don't understand why one is considered rude but the other is.

PostNotInHaste · 02/05/2018 21:51

Also getting it and am still overweight, very annoying.

ohfortuna · 02/05/2018 21:54

What they really mean is don't lose anymore weight you're making us look fat

SerenDippitty · 02/05/2018 21:54

A few years back I lost about two stone went down to a size 6-8 from a 12-14. I could tell from some people’s faces they thought I’d gone too far but the only person who actually said I shouldn’t lose any more was my male slim hair stylist. I think he might have been right. I’m a large frame, I’d lost too much off my face and it actually aged me.

ShirleyValentineswall · 02/05/2018 21:56

Well that's tricky Spudina because if the woman you said it to had an ED then the last thing anyone should do is comment on her size at all. I don't really blame anyone for not knowing that right enough, but I am currently relapsing into anorexia and anyone commenting on my weight at all simply triggers me to lose more. I still stand by my above post though about it being most irritating when said by the first person to comment on any weight gain though!

Studyinghell · 02/05/2018 21:57

So annoying, 90% down to jealousy I think. Agree about the face thing tho once you’re a little older, I think i couldn’t be the weight I was 10 years ago without looking 15 years older in the face

Bluntness100 · 02/05/2018 22:05

Blimey no one ever says that to me. I've just went back down to my normal size ten from a 14/16 and I've had comments, but all positive, the "you look great"kind of thing, I work out a lot so do looked toned and don't look skinny, because, well I'm not skinny.

I did get comments on the other end of it that I had put weight on as well. No one said I looked great then though to be honest.

My face looks better when I've lost weight, when I'm over weight my face looks puffy and I grow extra chins.

But no, I never get don't lose anymore or you're too skinny. 🤔