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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Don’t lose anymore weight?

46 replies

hiblueblue · 02/05/2018 20:25

Aibu to be sick of hearing that and told I look skinny?

I’m still technically overweight according to bmi

OP posts:

PostNotInHaste · 02/05/2018 22:12

I come out with the just trying to get to the top of my BMI range. This works on some but others then go off on the well you can’t go on BMI thing . Next time I’m going to just say ‘ Doctor”s orders’.

FrangipaniBlue · 02/05/2018 22:13

I went from a 16/18 to a 10 and like @Bluntness100 all I got was how amazing I looked.

Until I went back up to a 12 and then everyone saw fit to tell me that I looked better with a bit of weight back on cos I looked ill before

Aridane · 02/05/2018 22:14

I hate to admit it but...I have said this. To a lady who went from a size 14 to a size 6. She went too far. Didn't look healthy at all

And what did you hope to achieve by saying that to her?

Bluntness100 · 02/05/2018 22:15

Until I went back up to a 12 and then everyone saw fit to tell me that I looked better with a bit of weight back on cos I looked ill before

To be fair I did have that once on the way up. 🤣

FrangipaniBlue · 02/05/2018 22:17

It's great isn't it @Bluntness100 I wish they'd make their minds up lol

Thereshegoesagain · 02/05/2018 22:19

I’ve had that and ‘ it’s unhealthy to lose that amount of weight so quickly’ from a jealous arsehole who’s been paying for slimming world for years and never loses any weight.

Tandoorimixedgrill · 02/05/2018 22:23

People like to ssbatage your success, as they feel better that you are fat.

My dad used to get it all the time when he tried to stop drinking. They preferred to encourage an alcoholic to drink more than be forced to confront there own drink issues.

Do you, be proud of your success and stay focused on your goals.

LolitaLempicka · 02/05/2018 22:25

I thought BMI was outdated and largely discredited now. And I don’t think people say it from jealousy, some people really do go to far. You gotta pick your face or your arse, there is a fine line.

Timefortea99 · 02/05/2018 22:29

I had a sarky comment years ago from someone helping a leader at a WW class. They sort of sneered, looked me up and down and implied I was anorexic. I was 10stone 5 and 12 pounds over the target that they set me. I didn’t look anywhere near anorexic!

With regard to older face. I have lost 30 pounds over 16 months, so slow weight loss. My face has got slimmer but in a good way, not a gaunt way. Because I just cut down on treats a bit, and did not do a quick fix diet, my face didn’t lose a lot of weight straight off, it has been a gradual thing. I have been told I look younger. It was something I worried about when I started to lose weight. I have been overweight for at least 10 years and I thought it would be inevitable that I would look much older. Slow weight loss is the key I think.

athingthateveryoneneeds · 02/05/2018 22:35

I gain weight all over but it's very noticeable in my face. I was looking at pictures of myself from years ago when I was very much overweight, and compared to now (1st4lbs to go) nearly at a "normal" weight I look much younger. Healthy eating and exercise has a significant impact.

I've been told I'm losing too much weight. Pffft. I'm still a size 14.

FlyingCat · 02/05/2018 22:36

Another perspective on this one, i lost a lot of weight (from a 20 to an 8) a while back and the weight does not come off all bits of your body evenly initially. So while my hips were still overweight, my face and upper body were very skinny. People judged based on those bits not realising i still had problem areas. As time went by and i maintained, i even up and i know i looked more like the healthy weight i’d reached.

SomeMothers83 · 02/05/2018 22:40

I thought BMI was outdated and largely discredited now
Yes, but it's about the best thing we've got

Spudina · 02/05/2018 22:43

I wanted to stop her from being repeatedly ill. To stop her from getting constantly injured from overtraining. To stop getting every virus going because she was so run down. Exercise and diet etc is great to a point but actually when overdone it can be harmful. Of course I wasn't as blunt as the OP was describing, it's a different situation. But when someone is proudly showing off their skeletal frame I'm not going to say 'well done, carry on. I gently tried to explain that losing even more weight (I.e below a size 6 on a tall person.) would not be healthy.

thecatsthecats · 02/05/2018 22:48

@teatogo - I agree, as I - when I'm a healthy weight! - am over the official BMI range. Combination of broad skeletal frame and strong muscles, means BMI is not useful for me (at 14st, I still had a 28" waist, for example). I'm tracking body fat % instead.

However people do do this! I got told it when I lost 5lb - I still need to lose another 40 ffs!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 02/05/2018 22:57

I know someone who lost 4 stone very quickly on Lighter Life. Mutual friends banged on about how gaunt he looked - I just thought his face looked oval and not round any more! Which you would expect if someone had lost 4 stone.

ShirleyValentineswall · 02/05/2018 23:02

How did it go Spudina?

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 02/05/2018 23:14

I lost over 5 stone over the course of a few years and I get this constantly. Drives me insane. What gives people the right to comment on my body?!

When I was big no one ever said “Hey put down that doughnut fatty” or “Don’t you think you should walk it, you could do with the exercise?” but now I’m a nice healthy weight I have people commenting all the time.

I’m not allowed to be sodding well cold, I get “Well of course you’re cold there’s no meat on your bones.” I’m not allowed to have a healthy snack? I get accused of being obsessed.

I never ever comment on a persons body/weight and I wish no one else would either. Tell them they look beautiful but why bring size into it?!

Aridane · 02/05/2018 23:14

Well, shirley, I’m sure spudina’s acwainatance said goodness me, you’re right, I’ll reduce my exercise, eat more and yes goodness I do look awful now you mention it

ShirleyValentineswall · 02/05/2018 23:29

Aridane

Spudina · 02/05/2018 23:31

I probably offended her, (she is literally the most defensive person I know) but her Mum was saying the same thing. And I think she listened to her Mum. These days she has a bit more of a balanced attitude to it all. But I'm not sorry that I tried. Because she was hurting herself. And i would want a friend to be honest with me if the situation was reversed.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/05/2018 23:45

"Well, shirley, I’m sure spudina’s acwainatance said goodness me, you’re right, I’ll reduce my exercise, eat more and yes goodness I do look awful now you mention it"

A friend once told me 'you've lost enough now, stop here'. I asked if she thought it was too much and she said not quite, but no more. She was right and I stopped.

Obviously I wasn't an underweight size 6 so maybe there's no point saying it to someone with health problems/eating disorders, but I appreciated it when it was said to me.
On the other hand, my DM once told me I was too thin when I was at my ideal weight for me. I don't think she was right at that point, but different people have different ideas about the best size to be. It's not (necessarily) down to jealousy or meanness.

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