To want to go and get my DD

[MrsDylanBlue]

Follow on from this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3228984-AIBU-re-other-mother
DD has been Home a few times for dinner the last few weeks but has been missing college a bit (I get emails informing me) but her tutor hasn’t replied to any of my emails.

Her A’levels are fast approaching and I am worried she is going to Mrs them up.

A few times she has said she is coming home to stay the night and then texted saying she has changed her mind.

Her friend contacted me this morning asking if she is ok as she posted on Twitter last night (when she said she was coming home but did not) “I challenge you to find anyone who is more heartbroken and destroyed than me right now” and “well this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced but thank god for friends like X who drop everything thing to come and get you when something shitty happens” the friend who sent the tweets to me has fallen out with DD but was worried about her and had sworn me to secrecy.

I sent DD a breezy text asking how everything is and sending lots of love and she said everything is fine.

This girl is just blowing hot and cold on her (she’s 17 and I am stopping myself from texting the girls mother and just asking her to send DD Home to live so her DD can stop messing her about and DD can just concentrate on her bloody A’levels

I’ve read your other thread too OP and it sounds like your DD is in a really controlling, emotionally abusive relationship.

If you did put your foot down, do you think she’d secretly be grateful and want to come home?

I don't have teenagers so probably cant help.

However, I was a complete arsehole as a teenager.

My mother would have just rocked up and read the riot act.

I hated her at the time for doing so, but now Im a parent I see why she did it. In some situations I was secretly grateful. Id got myself in too deep and I didnt know what to do. Mummy to the rescue!

I think I'd knock on the door.

I dunno I have taken her back there a few times (so I know where the house is).

Every time I have said if you need me just call me or if you want a break and want to come home just text me but I think she is worried about losing face. DD isn’t great at talking about things and was self harming a while ago so I worry she will go inside herself and hurt herself

Every time I have said if you need me just call me or if you want a break and want to come home just text me but I think she is worried about losing face. DD isn’t great at talking about things and was self harming a while ago so I worry she will go inside herself and hurt herself

Are you able to call her (out of earshot of the GF and her Mum) and ask? Say that losing face doesn’t matter and that it’s what’s best for her that’s important. I feel for you OP, it’s a really tough situation for you

Go get her. Just say you insist she comes home as you've had so many calls/ messages from the school but she can do what she likes after exams.
Get her a hot drink, fave snacks and a movie. Sit on the sofa together quietly and tell her you love her.
Deal with the other shit tomorrow. Go get her.

If nothing else drop by and take her out for a coffee, hopefully she'll come home overnight- worth a try?

When I was having a shit time boarding my mum came and took me out for lunch. Even though I was a gritty teenager and didn’t want to admit it it was greatly appreciated.

Yeah my mum also used to take me for lunch when I was living with an abusive bastard and taking heroin

Can’t ever do strikethrough on mobile

Follow your instincts on this i reckon.

I haven't read the other post but I too would go & get her. I think the pride could be playing a big part here also & if the GF is controlling then speaking up will be hard for your DD. So maybe your intervention would be welcomed by her as a get out without having to do it herself. Good luck

Please go and get her. I hope she comes back with you.

Or could she be with friend X who she says in her tweet has come to get her?

I have thought about messaging friend X but not sure

Yes I would.

I had 6 teenagers 4 boys and 2 girls.

She’s 17, go get her. No iffs no buts go get her.

The g/f is 17 DD is 18.

She is the third of 6.

Go and get her OP.

Could you message her with an excuse she can use?

You could say you are desperately lonely, and would love her to come over and help you eat a chocolate cake...

I would go and get her.

Thank you

I love her so much this is just horrible.

I went and she wasn’t there she was at work.

I wish her dad would communicate with me

Could you say you’re feeling unwell would she mind coming home for the night to help you out? I definitely think you need her home.

Where does she work? Do you know when her shift ends or could you go and see her at work?

I have to be careful not to out the screen shot friend and DD will be really fucking angry with me if I “embarrass” her.

I will take a day off work and take her for lunch.

Can you meet her from work?