AIBU or should I mention this to nursery manager?

[happymommaof2]

Went to pick DC up from the baby room last night. Was looking through the window to spot her and heard another child crying. Said child was crawling past the door behind one of the nursery staff who was sat on the floor. She turned and grabbed the child by one arm and swung him towards her - hard to explain but in a "fucks sake" kind of way if anyone gets what I mean!? As she did it she saw me looking through the window so knows I saw her.

I'm kicking myself for not saying something there and then. Do I need to mention to nursery? It's playing on my mind but am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I'd be bloody furious if I saw her doing it to either of mine!

To complicate things a little more, I know the mum of the little boy, we are friends through our older children and meet very regularly outside of nursery - I don't want to create a huge drama but do I mention to her!? Help!

@happymommaof2 With respect OP - You have NO right to even consider not telling the child's Mother!
How would you feel if you found out that someone else saw it happening to your child and they never told you?
Besides, the Nursery will have to tell the mother during the investigation process and it may come out that it was you that reported it. Friendship over!

You need to report it today and tell the mother.

@SickofThomasTheTank if I didn't know the child I wouldn't be able to tell the parents. Also I could ask to be anonymous. Anyway I've already been kicked up the arse and am going to tell her.

probably let her frustration get the better of her and reacted with more force than necessary.

Something that should never happen when working with children!

Reacted with more force than necessary. I hope whoever wrote that doesn't have much to do with children.

The nursery manager? I'd be reporting it to OFSTED.

I'm glad you're reporting this op, I understand it feels difficult but this baby needs someone to stand up for them. I used to work in an 'outstanding' nursery quite a few years ago and witnessed things like this several times from a few staff members, but unfortunately the management and owners didn't seem to care much. I was only a teenager at the time, but now wish I'd reported it higher up. I had to leave in the end. Not to scare anyone as there are many lovely nurseries, but it does happen.

SickofThomastheTank I did try to make a difference. I very carefully tried to help/advise and it back-fired and since their divorce I don’t see my granddaughter. She’s 12 now, and thankfully too big to be picked up like a baby chimp.

All adults have a safeguarding duty towards children. If you are concerned enough to post here then have a word with the nursery management team. The manager will want to know and likely keep a closer eye on the room in general if you’re saying other staff were aware of this happening. They will also investigate the incident you witnessed.

if I didn't know the child I wouldn't be able to tell the parents
You do know her though.
Did you report it?

Yes everybody who needs to know has been told. Nursery are dealing with it and his mum has been notified. She’s glad I raised it but confirmed he was absolutely fine when he got home and she didn’t notice anything to suggest it had affected him or hurt him in any way.

I'm pretty sure I never did that to my child and I was a really crap mother. So no it probably isn't okay and you absolutely did the right thing to raise it.