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AIBU?

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Original poster

How did you know you ended up with the right person

45 replies

DrowningEveryDay · 02/05/2018 06:42

for you?

OP posts:
WeAreEternal · 02/05/2018 06:55

Because he makes me happy.

ferntwist · 02/05/2018 06:56

Most things are more fun when he’s around. He never criticises me, I feel accepted. He’s a good person.

onlyconnect · 02/05/2018 06:59

I don't go along with the idea of "the right person" or "the one". Are you happy? Are his/her faults ones that you can live with? Do you love them?
It's tricky though. I know people for whom it isn't tricky, they just seem to know but I think if you're a bit complicated and difficult yourself it's not necessarily obvious and is down ultimately to whether or not it feels worth it.

speakout · 02/05/2018 06:59

I think there are many people that we could potentially settle down with.
I don't think there is a "one" or a soul mate.

I have been with my OH for 21 years. It has been a slow burner.

For me it's that fact that I can be myself with my OH, that I like myself when I am with him, that I feel confident and strong.

Other men have not made me feel this way as much as him.
OH trusts my judgement and instinct- and that's a good thing for me.
I never feel undermined. And I feel worshipped, but I have the space and freedom to be my own person.

gabsdot · 02/05/2018 07:02

I don't think you end up with the right person. You make yourselves right for each other.

Midge1978 · 02/05/2018 07:05

If I've had a good day or a bad day he's always the person I want to talk to about it.

Tamingoftheglue · 02/05/2018 07:09

I don't think you end up with the right person. You make yourselves right for each other

^ Yep.

MyotherUsernameisaPun · 02/05/2018 07:09

in all the time I've known him he's never really let me down. I mean that in the big ways - he has never made me doubt his love for me even for a second, he has never put himself first before me, he has never tried to score points, never minimised or disregarded my feelings.

On top of that he makes me laugh every day, is endlessly kind, and is fundamentally the most good natured person I know. I love the bones of him and can't for a second imagine being with anyone else.

I don't believe in soul mates, but I seriously can't imagine I would be better suited to anyone more than him!

Horsedogbird · 02/05/2018 07:15

I don't go along with love at first sight but for me there was a strong connection when we met. I felt really comfortable with him and felt like he was a friend right from the start. The attraction was there, not a crazy lust but a definite attraction. I just feel I can be myself and don't have to pretend to be anything. We have our differences but we compliment each other. He is protective of me and I don't mind.

speakout · 02/05/2018 07:16
  • I love the bones of him and can't for a second imagine being with anyone else.

I guess we all have different views. I do love my OH but not to the extent that I couldn't manage without him. Equally I could imaging life with a different partner may have been good- or perhaps even better- who knows- I may have spent a lifetime looking for someone "better"
But I have made my decision to stick with my man and invest energy into our relationship. I am faithful to him and we are happy.
To me that's good enough.

BertieBotts · 02/05/2018 07:19

I agree that there could have been many people I would be happy with - however I'm satisfied/happy with DH - he makes me feel like a better person than I do without him. He makes my problems seem easier to bear rather than the opposite. I know I can be myself with him (when we argue it's like arguing with my sister - the weirdest thing!) Our strengths and weaknesses balance each other out.

Oblomov18 · 02/05/2018 07:24

"I don't think you end up with the right person. You make yourselves right for each other"

^ Yep.

I think you need to have a lot of the basics in common. I do with Dh. The rest, the other bits we've just kind of muddled together, melded, compromised and blended.

And we 'rub along together very nicely'.

Yogagirl123 · 02/05/2018 07:25

You just know.

speakout · 02/05/2018 07:30

You just know.

Sometime you don't.

OH and I -although very fond of each other- entered our relationship for some very sound practical reasons.

I have had greater love affairs but life and kids with these people would not have worked out so well.

OH and I started our relationship with some very fundamental things in common and the same life goals.
That for us has been more important than romantic love.

kaytee87 · 02/05/2018 07:31

I don't think there is a 'right person'.
We're pretty happy, we have mostly the same values and can see our future together.

kaytee87 · 02/05/2018 07:32

I also think if people were more realistic about relationships (eg not thinking there is a 'one' and that life should be a fairy tale) then a lot more marriages would survive.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 02/05/2018 07:38

We both have the same vision of what we want our future to look like.

I still miss him during the day and look forward to seeing him.

He is a good father to our babies

He treats me with respect

His snoring is loud and annoying but I couldn't be without it!

Silly little things I know, but the clincher for me is no matter how tough our lives can get, we both push through and work hard together to make things better!

misslomi · 02/05/2018 07:40

I’d rather spend time with him than anyone else. Our relationship is easy and has been from the beginning, never played any stupid games, just been open and honest with each other.

speakout · 02/05/2018 07:41

I also think if people were more realistic about relationships (eg not thinking there is a 'one' and that life should be a fairy tale) then a lot more marriages would survive.

I tend to agree.
When romantic love comes into the picture common sense can go out of the window,.
Many arranged marriages ( not forced marriages ) work well.

OH and I made some very practical decisions when we became a couple- and most of them not based on romantic love.

Those foundations have worked well for us, and seen us though our relationship, romantic love has grown from those pragmatic roots.

Addictedtohavingbabies · 02/05/2018 07:41

We make each other happier than anyone we've ever been with.
I've never been so fulfilled and satisfied than with him. I've never had such strong feelings for anyone or been attracted to anyone as much as I am to him and he says the same about me.

wildbhoysmama · 02/05/2018 07:43

We have always just clicked. We laugh constantly; he loves me for me, warts and all, ; I am the best version of me when he's around ; he's kind and I feel loved every day; I couldn't imagine life without him; he's the person I want to spend time with above everyone else; I fancy the pants off him still.

Stormwhale · 02/05/2018 07:44

I don't have to be anyone else around him. He goes out of his way to do kind things for me and is very loving towards me. He respects me and is my biggest cheerleader in life (followed closely by my mum!). I feel loved, supported and cared for. That ticks all the big boxes for me. I'm marrying him this year after 10 years together.

Helpmeplan · 02/05/2018 07:59

He is my best friend.

AjasLipstick · 02/05/2018 08:03

When my now DH walked into the place where I was working at the time (17 years ago) I looked at him and the thought which formed in my head was "Oh! Here he is!"

it was very odd because I'd never seen him before but had a strong feeling that I'd end up with him.

I was however, just coming out of a bad relationship and tried to scare DH away as he pursued me...by being generally unfriendly.....didn't work. Grin

LittleLionMansMummy · 02/05/2018 08:11

He's my best friend, there's nobody I'd rather spend time with and we laugh a lot together even after 16 years.