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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour complained about dog barking, am I being sensitive?!

67 replies

AddictedtoAIBU · 01/05/2018 16:13

My NDN knocked the door Yesterday to complain about our dog barking. He is a yappy little thing but I wasn't aware he barks when we are out - now that I am we will be very careful to ensure he doesn't cause issues. There's usually someone home as we work different shifts but she mentioned rare occasions when we have been shopping/over a friends - all valid and I am sorry our dog has disturbed her.
However.... she started the conversation by saying 'I didn't want to go to your landlord/letting agency' I was very polite (I'm not a rude person anyway) but after we finished speaking and I thought about it I felt really uncomfortable. We rent but that has made me feel as though every little thing will be reported and we aren't valued enough to jus discuss things in a neighbourly way as renters. I just don't feel at home here suddenly. AIBU to think she could have just chatted to me about the issue not mentioning contacting the person we rent from or our letting agent or am I being sensitive?!

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 01/05/2018 16:15

She is just being very clear that you really need to remedy the problem.

AJPTaylor · 01/05/2018 16:17

Yanbu. We rented one house for 2 years and were only ever referred to as "the renters" by the entire snobby street. Literally."hello, are you the renters?".
Twats.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 01/05/2018 16:18

Perhaps she could have opened with a different line, but I think you are being little a little sensitive. She obviously wants you to take this issue seriously.

Justmuddlingalong · 01/05/2018 16:19

I think she's politely letting you know that your dog is causing a disturbance. She expects you to sort it out. And she will complain to your landlord if you don't.

Glumglowworm · 01/05/2018 16:20

I think you’re being over sensitive (I also rent privately fwiw)

She’s not just reported you to the landlord, she’s spoken to you first.

At no point has she threatened to go to the landlord about every single little thing.

EyeRollChampion · 01/05/2018 16:21

She was right to speak to you first. Persistent dog barking is torturous and can drive a person to absolute insanity.

KittyVonCatsington · 01/05/2018 16:21

I live next door to a barking dog. It is so stressful to hear that I have every sympathy with your neighbour and can understand why they said what they did. I’m surprised they weren’t ready to snap more!

Rudgie47 · 01/05/2018 16:22

Shes saying sort it out or else I will report you. TBH theres nothing worse than a dog barking/whining all the time. We had it when a neighbour used to go to the club all night.

Original poster

AddictedtoAIBU · 01/05/2018 16:22

Then hopefully that will be the end of it scurry as will ensure we put steps in place to prevent being a pain (and having a distressed dog!)
I think that's what it is AJP, just after we moved in we overheard one of the neighbours discussing a noise issue with other neighbours (not the same ones) and he said "I don't know if I need to knock number...they rent" I just feel really unwelcome here. I think I'm being sensitive to a point but it is our home and it's not a cheap rent. I'm approachable and will definitely sort this or any other issue but I just feel like we don't really count somehow. It's a horrible feeling but maybe I'm being sensitive!

OP posts:

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 01/05/2018 16:22

Agree op. Had more or less the same thing a few years back. Yes, it was my fault, yes I addressed the problem, yes I apologised profusely. ..just because I rented, doesn't make me an inconsiderate arsehole

HannahHut · 01/05/2018 16:26

It seems to me she was letting you know that:
A) She is doing you a favour by coming directly to you.
B) Is letting you know if you don't sort it then she will be going to your landlord/letting agent.

Visit the doghouse to see if anyone can offer you advice; if you label your dog as 'yappy' it must be something you see from it often and therefore something they can hear - even if it was barking only when you're home you would still need to take steps to stop this happening (and I say this as the own of a chihuahua!).

Original poster

AddictedtoAIBU · 01/05/2018 16:26

Thanks for feedback guys, as I said it is rare that dog is home alone but I totally understand it's a pain to listen to. Luckily, now that we know he is barking when left we can stop it from happening so on that front should all be ok from here in.
I will pop to other neighbours tonight (the other side of us) and apologise if he's been disturbing them too and hopefully a happy neighbour relationship can follow....

OP posts:

OneStepSideways · 01/05/2018 16:26

I think you're being very unreasonable to ever leave a 'yappy little thing' unattended or let her yap while you're home. Why haven't you trained her?

I find yappy dogs infuriating. It's the sort of shrill repetitive noise that affects people's quality of life and enjoyment of their home.

In your shoes I'd be bending over backwards to make amends. If she contacts your agent it may be impossible to rent again without rehoming your dog, as it will go on your references.

pigsDOfly · 01/05/2018 16:26

I think speaking to a LL or letting agent is something you do if you've tried talking to your neighbour and got nowhere with them.

I had a situation once where I lived next door to some students who about four times a week would come home just after 4 in the morning and start playing drum and bass and making a huge racket because they'd invited their friends back to their's for to a party.

I spoke to them numerous times before I spoke to their LL agent. It never occurred to me to go to the LL agent until I was desperate. That was definitely a last resort to me.

So yes, I do think that's an extremely strange way for her to start the conversation and no I don't think you're being sensitive. She's almost making threats that she has the power to get you into trouble. Not a nice way to deal with neighbours.

I'm assuming she owns her house.

cansu · 01/05/2018 16:28

I think you will always get this. People seem to think that if you rent they have in some ways more rights to complain about you. I have certainly experienced this as we rented for many years. By opening with that line she was in fact reminding you that she can complain about you to your landlord and cause issues for you potentially. It is not OK and I would be very pissed off. If you owned the house, would she have opened with 'I didn't want to complain to the police or the council'. probably not because an occasional yapping dog is hardly likely to reach the threshold for a noise complaint. I totally understand your feelings on this. It is however pretty common.

cansu · 01/05/2018 16:30

Love the comments about 'you should be bending over backwards to make amends' and 'it will be impossible for you to rent again if this goes on your references'. This is exactly the attitude the OP is upset about.

Original poster

AddictedtoAIBU · 01/05/2018 16:30

But that's the thing Hannah, I don't think it is a favour coming directly to me. We are neighbours, wouldn't that be everyone's first step? If I had a problem with something I would go and see the person and discuss reasonably but I wouldn't think it was a favour? It wouldn't occur to me in the first instance whether they rent or own, it would just be 'Here's the issue, can you make it stop'. If it continued afterwards then that would be different.

OP posts:

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 16:32

Your dog has been a serious nuisance, you don't get to be annoyed by the fact that your neighbour didn't go to your landlord, which she had every right to do.
You should be thanking her and apologising profusely, not complaining about her.

PersianCatLady · 01/05/2018 16:39

I would not worry about her telling the LL anyway.

We have had serious issues with one family in our road and the LL and LA have made it clear that as long as they are getting the rent money, they couldn't care less.

Also, many people in the road complained about the one family after persistent and long standing anti-social and abuse to neighbours.

Please don't think that we complained to their LL and LA over one issue.

Original poster

AddictedtoAIBU · 01/05/2018 16:39

Thanks Cansu. Yes to everything you said, that is exactly how it feels. We pay a fortune in rent and still feel like we have no rights.

Yes Pigs, she does own her own house. Along with everyone else In our cul-de-sac :)

I have spoken to all neighbours except 2 (including her actually) on dog walks (I think she's the only one without a dog) and asked if there is ever noise from ours please let me know as we do know he has a tendency to be yappy but thought it was only if he could see out of window. All neighbours have said there isn't any noise (it's rare we leave him so they were probably being polite I guess) But this neighbour has commented on a few occasions how quiet we are as a family so her wording did shock me a bit.

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 01/05/2018 16:42

If the barking issue is being addressed, she will have no cause for complaining. That should be the end of it.

Vangoghsear · 01/05/2018 16:44

If you had taken the dog with you when you went out the situation would not have arisen. Barking or yapping dogs are very annoying to other people in the vicinity. Your neighbour has spoken to you directly rather than going to the landlord so you have nothing to complain about - whereas she has a legitimate complaint.

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 16:44

We pay a fortune in rent and still feel like we have no rights

you want the right to not be answerable for anti social behaviour?

Original poster

AddictedtoAIBU · 01/05/2018 16:52

Can I just be very clear that my complaint isn't the very legitimate complaint about our dog barking. I am sorry he has disturbed our neighbour(s) and I totally appreciate that isn't acceptable and it will be resolved.

It was the mention of reporting it to the home owner/LA, it seemed very extreme for a first sentence in the first instance and, coupled with a few other things since moving here, made me wonder if I was being over sensitive because it made me feel we can't just discuss things like neighbours and resolve issues because I'm a renter. Maybe that wasn't it, I was asking if I'm being too sensitive.

Doug, you are very much twisting my words. That is not at all what I meant.

OP posts:

Coyoacan · 01/05/2018 16:55

I think it comes down to the fact that it IS possible to get anti-social renters out of their house, whereas if they are homeowners, complainants are stuck.

You sound reasonable, OP, and your neighbours will be glad to have you as a neighbour.

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