Neighbour complained about dog barking, am I being sensitive?!

[AddictedtoAIBU]

My NDN knocked the door Yesterday to complain about our dog barking. He is a yappy little thing but I wasn't aware he barks when we are out - now that I am we will be very careful to ensure he doesn't cause issues. There's usually someone home as we work different shifts but she mentioned rare occasions when we have been shopping/over a friends - all valid and I am sorry our dog has disturbed her.
However.... she started the conversation by saying 'I didn't want to go to your landlord/letting agency' I was very polite (I'm not a rude person anyway) but after we finished speaking and I thought about it I felt really uncomfortable. We rent but that has made me feel as though every little thing will be reported and we aren't valued enough to jus discuss things in a neighbourly way as renters. I just don't feel at home here suddenly. AIBU to think she could have just chatted to me about the issue not mentioning contacting the person we rent from or our letting agent or am I being sensitive?!

Vongoghsear - you can't expect OP to take her dog everywhere with her? She can't take the dog to the supermarket, most shops, anywhere medical, most restaurants, work, many friends and family don't want a dog around etc. It's just unrealisitic.

I agree with you OP, she isn't doing you a favour for speaking to you before the LL, you live there, why even bring LL up that early on. In her place I'd speak to you, if nothing happened I'd ask again if you had tried anything yet and tell you it was still happening, then I'd possibly speak to somewhere else depending on what you said.

It wouldn't be right if someone came around and said they were going to report you to RSPCA or noise pollution people or whatever else the first time someone complained to a home owner about the same issues, so why is it okay to mention LL (meaning possible eviction, poor reference etc)? I'd just hope that she didn't want you taking it too lightly, she doesn't like your dog and wants you to stop it from barking. Maybe go around with a little bunch of flowers or something and apologise. Tell her your working on retraining the dog and would appreciate it if she would tell you if she hears him again as you don't want the dog distressed or annoying any of the neighbours.

I think maybe you are being a little bit sensitive.

The fact that she came to see you shows she actually wanted to resolve the issue like a reasonable person, yes maybe she started out mentioning the landlord as a kind of threat but also maybe just to make it clear to you that she wouldn't be fobbed off - after all she didn't know for sure that you were also going to be reasonable about it.

I also have yappy dogs and the first I knew about them upsetting the neighbours was a note through my door from the council and an anonymous note on the same day. Like you I immediately remedied the problem (which I hadn't known existed until these 2 communications) but I would have loved the person/people with the problem to have spoken to me directly like your neighbour did.

I think you're right to say this:
I don't think it is a favour coming directly to me. We are neighbours, wouldn't that be everyone's first step? If I had a problem with something I would go and see the person and discuss reasonably but I wouldn't think it was a favour? It wouldn't occur to me in the first instance whether they rent or own, it would just be 'Here's the issue, can you make it stop'. If it continued afterwards then that would be different.

But unfortunately not everyone thinks like you and I! Luckily for you it seems that your neighbour does

One step sideways. This is not an issue of dog training! You don't train dogs not to bark. The dog cannot cope with being left. Many cant

Add message | Report | Message poster DougFargo Tue 01-May-18 16:32:31
Your dog has been a serious nuisance, you don't get to be annoyed by the fact that your neighbour didn't go to your landlord, which she had every right to do.
You should berthanking her and apologising profusely, not complaining about her

Read the thread then love?

Most people don't own their home they own a bit of it and the mortgage company owns the rest.
Tricky with a barking dog, try a transfer if there any in the area who might have suggestions. I presume it was a homeless rescue dog found in a locked shed by it's starving mother, riddled with fleas etc - might illicet some sympathy!

You will get people twisting your words on AIBU OP.

If you'd posted this in the dog house you probably would have got more advice and understanding about how you can deal with a barking dog rather than people telling you you're a bloody nuisance to the rest of your neighbours.

I am not a dog owner and I really dislike hearing dogs bark constantly. There is someone who lives in a street behind me that puts the dog out at 7.30 every Sunday morning and most evenings and it barks constantly. It drives me mad. However, you sound very considerate in that you will prevent it happening in future. It would be awful if she was having a dig at you simply due to you renting. Maybe she was trying to say what her next steps would be if it wasn't resolved?

I'll be blunt.

Dogs barking are extremely annoying to non dog owners. If your dog is barking, it is likely annoying your neighbour. There is no good time for a dog to bark. Not in the morning, not in the evening, not during the working day, at the weekend, at night. There is no socially acceptable time.

You are obviously not bothered by it or you would have a dog, but some people are, and the law is on their side. Everyone has the right to quiet enjoyment of their own home and that means (relative) peace and quiet. Environmental health are there to enforce this. Conversely, there is no legal right to keep a pet.

Your neighbour was probably pushed to her limit to come round and complain. It's good that you've taken her complaint seriously. Out of interest, what do you plan to do to reduce the noise made by your dog?

On the renting / owning thing, you are absolutely correct in your observation. She was threatening you and not very subtly. Sadly the fact is that (assuming you're on a standard AST) your rights as a renter are minimal. I am fortunate to no longer rent but in the many years I did at high city centre prices, I had many a conversation with neighbours who took the same superior view as yours. Nothing you can do about it I'm afraid, unfair as it is.

Focus your energies on some dog training unless you want more little chats along the same lines.

Read the thread then love?

Clearly I did, as you can see from my response you quoted. something confusing you?

Some people literally bottle up all their complaints and frustration and then come on far too strong with ‘I’ll tell your landlord’ type stuff. When I’m reality if they’d just knocked on your door after it started bugging them it wouldn’t have been an issue.

It’s happened to me before (similar situation, I didn’t realise the dog barked when I went out if he was out). I took a small box of chocolates round to them and said if there’s ever a problem then please tell me. I feel embarrassed that dog has been bothering you, if I’d known I would have fixed it.

Never had a problem again.

Yanbu because that was quite heavy handed but I wouldn’t take it to heart.

Ugh. At least she came to you I suppose. The first I knew of my ex-neighbour not liking me putting my airers outside was him screaming "I've emailed your letting agents 3 times over this!!!!" in my face while I held my baby. LA never said anything, otherwise I would have sorted it before (still not convinced I was legally in the wrong, but I like to keep the peace).

Neighbours like having someone to tattle to without it being a big enough deal to go to the police.

Maybe they had problems with the previous renters and are making sure there isn't the same problem this time.

Maybe it happened before with the previous tenants, they tried to be nice, nothing changed and they ended up having to make a complaint to the LL for the tenants to do something about or move, so maybe they thought they'd mention it from the start to make it clear that they will not tolerate it if it continues.

If you were home owners, they could have said they would report it to the Health Environment (or whoever deals with noise harassment).

We rent abroad. Some of the homeowners had dogs that yowled from 0600 each morning. I didn't complain.

If you were my tenant, I wouldn't be worried. My NDN in the UK used to email me to complain that the tenant had a ladder leaning where she could see it, and wanted to know what I was going to do about it. She didn't improve when I moved back in for 9 months. She wanted me not to have tradesmen parking on my drive as she was trying to sell and it made it look untidy!!!

Cross post @swingofthings!

The arrogance of someone who has been a serious nuisance to her neighbours complaining about the wording of that neighbours perfectlt polite approach is staggering.

Its like the "I parked like a dick but I'm outraged someone dared say so to me" thread the other day. Such self absorbed narcissism.

Yabu you should be focusing your attentions on the actual complaint rather than on the way it was phrased. Maybe it could have been put better but the fact she has come round to complain AND she mentioned your letting agent means that the dog must have been annoying her for some time.

let's be honest, as a renter you don't have to care about neighbours dispute. You have the freedom to move if anything turns bad, and arguments are of no consequences to you.
If you own the place, you are either stuck or have to declare any issue when you sell. So it's only natural that neighbours are a bit more wary. It doesn't mean that really awful people come up with "I bought my home, I can be as much a disturbance as i please", so home owners can be much worst.

I don't get people having such a chip on their shoulder about renting. Why do you care what people think? I rented for many years, never once have I felt looked down. There's a freedom about not caring about the structure of the place, about changing that can bring the value down, not having to budget for anything than your rent - no need to save to cover the cost of various repairs.
In my area, it costs a fortune to rent, so for similar size properties, renters have a lot more money to spend!

@Pebblespony

Doug
You should thank be thanking her and apologising profusely not complaining about her

Telling the op what she " should" be doing implies she hasn't done it. And the Op hasn't complained. She has only stated she feels uncomfortable and was asking if others thought she was being over sensitive about this.

I am the one with the yappy dog but own my home, my poor neighbour rent, she also has a dog but I don't think she is allowed to have pets (her dog hardly ever barks) she never complains, I have apologised for my dog and he doesn't bark for long. He is a pommanarianian and they are known for barking

Maybe they had problems with the previous renters and are making sure there isn't the same problem this time

I have to say, I wondered this. I do think you’re being a bit over sensitive tbh. Maybe she shouldn’t have said what she said about the LL but I would find out if there was previous issues and see if that’s why first.

As an aside we live next door to barking dogs, 3 of the fuckers. It starts at 5am, and can be on and off for prolonged periods up until midnight. Every single time they’re in the bastard garden, for 30 minutes at a time at least. Our (non barky- heard her bark once in 7 years) dog is shit scared of them and the neighbours just brush it off as “high spirits”. I confess to reaching almost murderous rage at being woken at 5am by dogs the owners won’t keep a handle on. We live in a detached house to get away from noise and it’s the worst noise we’ve had!!!

Did your LL agree that you could have a dog in the property??

Maybe your neighbour thinks that you aren't allowed to have a dog.

Sorry to go off piste but a couple of posters have said they stopped the dog yapping once they knew about it

How did you do that?

A few have asked about previous tenants. The LL used to live here and we are the first renters. She is very worried about renting the property out so we have a three monthly check instead of the standard six months. We have never met her but knowing that, when the NDN mentioned speaking directly to her it did make me wonder how we would fare. I presume they are friendly as were neighbours.
She knows we have a dog and doesn't have an issue (until a complaint I presume!)
We don't have a way of stopping him barking but I presume it is separation anxiety so we will be making sure we take him with us if going out or take him to my sisters house (luckily very close) and arrange things around him that way. He's a very old boy and I really can't see him responding to training. I know he never used to bark unless he could see out of the window as we were great friends with previous neighbour and she was not a dog lover and very blunt 😁 As I say, he is rarely left anyway so it's not a huge adjustment to us really.