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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to speak to neighbour about evening noise levels?

99 replies

Xansaf · 30/04/2018 20:15

We are quite fortunate to live in a detached house so we are seldom bothered by neighbours’ noise during winter. However our neighbours on one side, as soon as late spring rolls around, start mowing their lawn (on a very loud petrol ride on mower) and doing a spot of topiary. This is all very nice except they usually start doing this at 8pm at night and unfortunately they are on the side of the house where the bedrooms are. They woke DD who is 14 months old last night and I remember them doing so several times last summer. AIBU to want to make them aware of this? I’ll probably get told where to go but it’s pretty annoying having my kid woken up half an hour after bed and then having to sit up with her until they’ve had their gardening fix.

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 01/05/2018 09:39

Who'da thought something as dry as council guidelines could cause such mirth!

C8H10N4O2 · 01/05/2018 09:43

I want to see this lawn which needs cutting with a heavy duty mower three times a week in April. I'd kill for grass which grew like that!

hooochycoo · 01/05/2018 09:44

We have a neighbour who is retired and during the summer pretty much every other day he’s outside with some kind of mower or cutter or some noise making machine. It’s as if nice weather triggers some kind of Pavlovian response in him to start and engine. By mid summer his lawn and hedge are so smooth and flat, not a leaf or a stall out of place. It’s quite incredible to me.

but most annoying that every second nice day in the garden has noise from his garden toys as their soundtrack.

But hey, I think my overgrown lawn must give him the fear so it’s likely even in the neighbourly annoyance scores.

TawnyPort · 01/05/2018 09:45

If they are doing it 3 times a week it can't take more than 5 mins.

Newsflash: other people also have actual lives and don't need to work to your schedule. Teach your kid to sleep through normal noise.

Gromance02 · 01/05/2018 09:48

YANBU OP. I would hate to think my neighbours could hear me and would want to know if they could. Especially at 8pm. My house is detached and last summer was spoiled as I couldn't sit in my garden without being able to hear their music. It must have been very loud to carry the distance of 2 driveways. Arseholes.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 01/05/2018 09:54

OP if you're so sure you are right then just go and talk to them! But try and behave in a less petulant manner than you have on here, or you probably won't get very far.

echt · 01/05/2018 09:56

If they are doing it 3 times a week it can't take more than 5 mins

That may not be the case. Whether the lawn needs mowing or not is the motivation for some mowers.

LoopOnTheRollercoaster · 01/05/2018 09:58

It's sooooo unfair OP. Lol.

user1andonly · 01/05/2018 09:59

I can believe they mow their lawn three time a week. My retired neighbour certainly does (though not at 8pm and we don't have little ones to be woken anyway). If he's not mowing his lawn, he's washing his car. He's lovely (although you want to make sure you are not in a rush if you stop for a chat!) and we are unlikely to be burgled during daylight hours between March and November Grin

OP, I would pop round for a chat. I know, if it was my Dad (who is retired and a keen gardener) he'd be understanding and stick to quieter jobs after 8 if he could (I don't think he ever mows after 8 anyway as he's usually asleep in front of the telly by then!) Obviously be polite and pleasant about it. They may simply have forgotten how early little ones go to bed. Take dd round with you as most people can't help smiling at a baby!

If they refuse to change their timings (and they may have valid reasons why they can't do it earlier) there isn't much you can do.

RexManning · 01/05/2018 10:04

I'm trying to visualise a house layout where all of the bedrooms are on one side of the house, which also happens to be the boundary side.

Lizzie48 · 01/05/2018 10:06

You don't post threads in AIBU, and expect posters to be supportive. You get robust answers, and tbf, most of the replies have been fairly measured by AIBU standards. I actually understand the frustration, and it might be worth going round and asking nicely if they can mow the lawn a bit earlier in the day. They probably don't realise how much you're being disturbed by it.

Having said that, because of the weather in this country, and there has been a lot of rain this year, it's likely that the grass isn't dry enough earlier in the day. My DH occasionally mows the lawn during the evening because of this (although he does actually go to work during the day). Sometimes if you don't do it in the evening, you can end up not being able to do it for quite some time, because of a spell of bad weather.

It's all about compromise. And you won't get that if you don't have a conversation about it,

DingDongDenny · 01/05/2018 10:21

The OP is getting a bit of a hard time - for those of you doubting I can totally imagine that if it is a big lawn, being cut every week, then strimming the edges, it could take several hours

I know if we explained to our neighbours they would be happy to re-arrange and if we were doing something that disrupted them, like using power tools when they had friends round we would re-schedule.

That's being neighbourly to me - communicating, give and take, not quietly seething but not saying anything

RexManning · 01/05/2018 10:24

OP only started to get a hard time when she was rude and sarcastic, despite having had a decent balance of posters who agreed and disagreed with her.

mrsm43s · 01/05/2018 10:26

Mowing and gardening at 8pm is normal life stuff.

You could ask them to change their activities, so there is silence rather than this (normal/typically quite acceptable) noise at 8pm- but it goes both ways. If you decide that normal life stuff that disturbs neighbours is unacceptable, you must also:

  • never let your child cry (especially at night), because this is noisy and will disturb the neighbours
  • not let your child run around, scream, giggle, shout or make normal playing noises in the garden - because that will disturb the neighbours
  • not let your child have a trampoline or paddling pool - noisy - will disturb the neighbours
  • no child to play with a ball in the garden in case it goes over the fence and disturbs the neighbours
  • not have pets as these could cause a nuisance (dogs-barking, cats- pooing etc)

etc, etc. None of this stuff is inherently unreasonable, but all could have a negative impact on the neighbours.

Or you could just learn a bit of give and take. They do some (normal/reasonable) stuff that mildly disturbs you, and you do some (normal/reasonable) stuff that mildly disturbs them. But you both accept that your neighbours have the right to live their life in a reasonable and normal way, and some noise is just to be expected when you live close to others. Live and let live.

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 10:34

for those of you doubting I can totally imagine that if it is a big lawn, being cut every week, then strimming the edges, it could take several hours

its a ride on mower, it couldn't possibly take several hours

DingDongDenny · 01/05/2018 10:38

Dougfargo We live in the country and have a big lawn and a ride on mower and it takes us several hours when you include strimming the edges

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 10:39

yes, but if its close/small enough to disturb the sleep of a child next door, its not possible for it to take several hours 3 times a week.

echt · 01/05/2018 10:43

yes, but if its close/small enough to disturb the sleep of a child next door, its not possible for it to take several hours 3 times a week

Just because it doesn't need several hours to do doesn't mean that they don't take several hours to do it. People mow as often and for all long as they see fit.

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 10:47

you can't mow a smallish lawn for over 9 hours a week, no matter how much you want to Hmm

DingDongDenny · 01/05/2018 11:06

Dougfaro How do you know it's smallish? We are quite close in proximity to our neighbours, then our lawn stretches out at the back of the house - as does theirs. The noise when they mow or use gardening tools can be heard very clearly in our bedroom.

DuchyDuke · 01/05/2018 11:14

I’m sure OP doesn’t hear the noise her kids will make in the garden until bedtime in the summer, and she won’t hear the noises she makes when she has bbqs etc.

Lethaldrizzle · 01/05/2018 11:20

Im sure op's kids will be in bed hence her problem with neighbours in first place

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 11:21

This summer, maybe, what about the next 15? Are her children going to be silent after 8pm forever?

echt · 01/05/2018 11:21

you can't mow a smallish lawn for over 9 hours a week, no matter how much you want to

We don't know how small the lawn is. We do know they use a petrol ride on mower. They are very noisy. Who's said they are taking 3 hours? The point is that no matter the size of the lawn or the need to mow, some people just keep on mowing. Rather like the man across the road form me who leaf blows every day, sometimes twice a day now it's autumn, when logic says just let the leaves settle, and sweep less often,. Noooo. He wants a leaf-free drive twice a day.

echt · 01/05/2018 11:22

This summer, maybe, what about the next 15? Are her children going to be silent after 8pm forever?

So what? This is about now.