To go out with my FWB whilst in a relationship?

[MyGrassNeedsCutting]

NC and all that.

So I had a FWB when I was single, we ended the sexual side of it in December but stayed friends.

I am now in a new relationship.

The FWB invited me to go out with him back in December to a gig, it's not for a couple of weeks.

The guy I'm now seeing isn't happy with me spending time with the old FWB due to history between us.

WIBU to still go even though there is nothing between us??

We will be meeting to go to the gig and as soon as it's finished, we will go home separately.

No. I’d stay away
New chapter and all that

I'd be a bit more concerned about a relationship of 5 months where a partner is telling you who you can and cannot go out with.

He is being unreasonable. If you’re only going to see him as a friend and not have the “with benefit” then there’s no issue

Sorry but YWBU. Not fair on your new bloke, it could spoil things there for you and for what?

I've been with my dp for 20 years and I wouldn't be terribly happy with him telling me who I could and could not see. No way would I accept it from someone I'd only known 5 months!

Your FWB is essentially your ex. I would find it very strange if I was going out with a newish boyfriend and they decided to go out to a gig with their recent exgf. Of course he cant tell you who you can and cant go out with but he should probably consider ending your relationship if you did.

Completely different if you were both going together and he was one of a larger crowd. Why not just buy a ticket for your new bf and go together, or is there some reason why it has to be just you and your recent ex?

Hmmm! Now if this was the other way round, male wishing to go out with FWB there would be all hell let loose about him being a cheating dick and needing to put a tracker on his phone.

Double standards.

TBH my take on this is: Why are you discussing your past sex life with your new squeeze? It's a private matter. Much less mention a mate used to be your FB. I cannot conceive in any way how dignified that conversation must have been.

You know its not the done thing, so why ask?

He only knows about the "relationship" as he asked in what capacity we were.

I guess we could buy an extra ticket but I was only tagging along anyway.

I can whole heartedly say, if this was the other way around, it wouldn't bother me at all.

I wouldn't be happy if I was your BF. If my BF wanted to be going out with his Ex FWB..I'd just dump him ..if he didn't respect or accept my view on it.....then we aren't compatible and I don't need to be wasting my time.

its up to you, isn't it? Are you happy to be told who you can and can't see? I probably wouldn't go out with him but equally I wouldn't like to be told by someone else that I shouldn't.

Of course he's not going to be happy with you going to a concert with a bloke you were shagging less than a year ago - what normal bf/gf would.

Just think about how you would feel and apply the same. If you would be happy for him to see that friend then that’s great. If not then maybe understand how he’s feeling? I can see it from both points of view...

Hmmm! Now if this was the other way round, male wishing to go out with FWB there would be all hell let loose about him being a cheating dick and needing to put a tracker on his phone

Not from me. I would have no problems.

I went to a gig with my ex-H about 4 months after we officially separated. I would have been pretty unimpressed had new girlfriend had a problem. As it was she didn’t, we had an amazing night at a gig and he went home to her. All good.

Now if this was the other way round, male wishing to go out with FWB there would be all hell let loose about him being a cheating dick and needing to put a tracker on his phone

speak for yourself. You may be sexist and unfair, doesn't mean the rest of us are.

I guess I can see it from both sides, however I'd trust my bf completely.

I don't want him resenting me or always wondering so maybe it's best I don't go.

me and my old fwb are good friends now he has a girlfriend he loves and I have my guy.
You can be friends but I can also see why your partner may not be comfortable with it.

I don’t think this will end well, can you trust yourself not to get carried away with the FWB in the moment?

I now have two dc and a mortgage etc with my FWB. I adore him but we were just ‘fuck buddies’ for years and we both had bf/gf in that time but always gravitated back to each other. The fact you are even thinking about meeting up with him, tells me your missing that contact with him. Consider where your loyalties lie and tread carefully if you want your relationship to last the distance.

The fact you are even thinking about meeting up with him, tells me your missing that contact with him

My FWB is my dearest friend. He was my friend before and we will, no doubt, be just as close when we call time on the physical stuff. I’d be disappointed if any new partner I had didn’t trust me not to get carried away!

I wouldn't be happy about it if I was your bf either tbf

I see all the "cool wives" are out in force today.

I see all the "cool wives" are out in force today

🙄

Every one going on about the new partner "telling you who you can and can't see", read the post. He has said he isn't happy. This does not make him controlling or abusive. He has a right to say this if he feels that way, and it's not exactly hard to see why. I would not be happy in his position and would also say so.

If your new partner's unhappy with it, it would show a complete lack of respect to him to go on what is essentially a date with your exFWB.

what is essentially a date with your exFWB

A date is something for either current or potential romantic interest. The important part of FWB aid the friends part. So it’s going out with an old friend, not an ex because there isn’t the committed, dating aspect

Going out with a man you've had sex with in the past - going out just the two of you - has a very date-like quality. It's weird to claim new guy is unreasonable to feel uncomfortable with it.