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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask your views on noise in the cinema

147 replies

missbonita · 30/04/2018 15:39

I have been discussing this with friends today after DS was incredibly angry that 2 young children talked loudly throughout the Avengers last night.

There is also a story in some of the papers today about a woman with Aspergers being 'dragged' out of the cinema for laughing loudly during The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

On the one hand it seems discriminatory to restrict access to people with certain disabilities from the cinema, on the other the people who have paid should be able to enjoy the film.

WIBU the noisy person, even if it is beyond their control, or the intolerant person even if the noise is spoiling their viewing.

OP posts:

Cliveybaby · 30/04/2018 19:45

@WipsGlitter oops I agree sorry!
@LegallyBrunet I don't think she was but anyway... does that mean it should be ruined for the other 200 people there?

GrimSqueaker · 30/04/2018 19:46

With the prices of cinema tickets these days there's no way I'm paying THAT to go be annoyed by other people. I can stay at home and be annoyed by my own kids and husband for free. We go occasionally to the kids cheap showings - but it's rare at the moment as my youngest struggles with the noise levels they have the volume set to (she's got some sensory processing problems) and my eldest is, well, she's one of life's commentators and would drive everyone else barmy.

GySgtHartman · 30/04/2018 19:47

I get annoyed with the American style cheering and whooping.

TerfsUp · 30/04/2018 19:51

I have autism and rarely go to the cinema because the sound levels (people talking, phones ringing, the volume of the film itself) are often overwhelming.

opinionatedfreak · 30/04/2018 20:05

It isn't just the cinema.

I've seen iPad watching in the ROH. Running commentary from mother to child in an evening Royal Ballet performance. A 5yo in Harry Potter and the cursed child who couldn't follow the play so talked loudly throughout and who the sodding ushers let back in the next night to part 2 so ruined both part 1 and part 2 for me.

I've come to the conclusion that as a society any form of concern/ courtesy for others is dead or dying.

AllyMcBeagle · 30/04/2018 20:09

It isn't just the cinema.

Yes, I've found jukebox musicals at the theatre pose particular problems (eg Jersey Boys, Beautiful: The Carol King Musical). There always seem to be one irritating person who insists on singing along. I paid to hear the talented actors singing, not some random idiot in the audience.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 30/04/2018 20:21

When I went to see The Last Jedi, the middle aged woman sat next to me started talking (about nothing relevant to the film) and her teenage daughter quickly replied "Shhh Mum, the film!"
And that was that. The Mum was duly silenced.
If you really can't manage to go two hours without wanting to have a chat with someone, the cinema isn't for you. Buy the film later and watch at home, chat as much as you like!

Original poster

missbonita · 01/05/2018 07:37

I was out last night and talking about this with a friend, she saw greatest snowman on Sunday and it was ruined by a group of 6 teenagers singing loudly to all the songs aided by the lyrics backlit on an iPad.

OP posts:

Original poster

missbonita · 01/05/2018 07:51

I am trying the imagine the mindset of a parent that pays for tickets to the ROH, which I can only imagine are incredibly expensive, and then allows their child to watch an iPad. I can’t fathom it?

OP posts:

soapboxqueen · 01/05/2018 08:03

I think you need to separate out the various groups causing the disruption.

General arseholes - no excuse. We should bring back the stocks. It can be an after show.

Young children - depends entirely on the show and level of disruption. An 11pm showing of avengers isn't appropriate for a 3 year old and will probably create more disruption. 10am showing of toy story on Saturday morning will have slightly more disruption and should be expected but running about and screaming throughout still isn't on.

People with disabilities - entirely depends on what the disruption is. It isn't fair to lump all people with disabilities into one group and say they can have their own showing so they don't bother the rest of us. Though, it is beholden on everyone to decide if a behaviour will cause too much disruption. I tend to take my ds to the cinema at very quiet times to avoid other people as he tends to flap and bounce in his seat when excited.

I followed the case of the autistic lady on twitter and it seemed she was just laughing too hard at the funny bits. She was also called a bitch by another cinema goer as she was removed but nothing was done about that. Another cinema goer asked to go and help her as she was distressed but the staff wouldn't allow it. Even if you think she should have left, the cinema didn't deal with it particularly well.

People who disrupt are far more likely to be in the first category.

AllyMcBeagle · 01/05/2018 08:17

I am trying the imagine the mindset of a parent that pays for tickets to the ROH, which I can only imagine are incredibly expensive, and then allows their child to watch an iPad. I can’t fathom it?

The sad thing is it's probably still cheaper than a babysitter.

lovetheway · 01/05/2018 08:25

I have autism and frankly it seems like ALL cinema showings are 'relaxed showings'

I went to see the Avengers on Sunday, which was a significant sum out of my weekly budget. A cinema with very young children, most of whom got bored after about ten minutes. A dad in front of me watching YouTube on his phone. A very young child started crying during the last 20 minutes - the really emotionally charged bits - parent then changed her nappy on the steps !

My only consolation was thinking 'Mumsnet aren't going to believe this!'

AllyMcBeagle · 01/05/2018 08:25

I guess it's impossible to tell exactly what happened as we weren't there, but according to the interview she did with the Standard she was laughing loudly at a scene that I don't think was supposed to be funny, and then yelling at other cinema goers for laughing at the funny parts because she thought they were hypocrites. If that's true, I don't think it would be unreasonable for the cinema to ask her to leave along with any others who were yelling.

www.standard.co.uk/news/london/bfi-apologises-after-woman-with-asperger-s-syndrome-is-removed-from-screening-for-laughing-too-a3826611.html

AnneElliott · 01/05/2018 08:43

I also find loud people annoying at the cinema, and even more so at the theatre. I will generally ask people to be quiet though.

I took DS to the theatre when he was 5 - he was desperate to see Mamma Mia. I made it clear there was to be no talking at all, or getting up unless it was an emergency. Drummed that into him the week before etc, only to sit in from of about 20 11 year old kids who talked, kicked the seats and generally were a pain in the arse with a useless teacher. I did tell them that if my 5 year old could manage to behave then I wasn't sure why they found it so difficult.

Original poster

missbonita · 01/05/2018 09:04

It seems the twats have really come out in force for the Avengers eh? Maybe these huge blockbusters, so heavily advertised everywhere encourage people who rarely go to the cinema and they don't know the 'rules'. Except they say the rules at the beginning don't they.

I think @sopaboxqueen wins the thread. Shall we all erect stocks outside our home town cinemas?

OP posts:

Etoilefilante · 01/05/2018 09:29

It's the smell of hot plastic cheese nachos that gets me fed up at the cinema....

And the price. It really is prohibitive in London now. We tried to go last month and they wanted £16 a ticket. Erm...

Once years ago a friend and I went to see star wars on a particularly packed showing at a huge screen in a multiplex. There was a big queue and the only seats we could find remaining were one on each side of a Super Fan. We asked him politely if he could budge up one seat so we could sit together and he said no, he'd been sitting there for an hour and had counted up the rows and across the seats and his was the very central seat so he didn't want to move. We didn't want to cause a fuss so just had so sit either side of him and pass the popcorn back and forth!

On another occasion I went to see what women want in a packed cinema in France. Ironic choice of film as the stranger beside me decided to touch me during the showing. I was 17. I was terrified and it was really hard to escape as the row was full. I had to squeeze my friends hand until she realised something was wrong. I wished aftet I had bashed him but I was 17 and in a certain amount of shock.

Fatted · 01/05/2018 09:38

Where the hell do all you people live?! I've never encountered anything like this level of uncivilized behaviour at the cinema.

Go and see the avengers in imax 3D. It's amazing and also the extra fiver a ticket seemingly keeps the annoying ones out.

lizzie1970a · 01/05/2018 09:55

I haven't been to the cinema in ten years or more because of all this. Don't miss it at all. The theatre used to be a bit more civilised but no more I'm hearing. Cinemas have some responsibility to people that have paid and should have someone in there. Perhaps after a few years of an usher correcting the behaviour it would reset it so that it becomes normal not to have your phone on, talk, kick chairs etc.

Kintan · 01/05/2018 09:56

The woman in that interview doesn’t come across very well - quite entitled and confrontational, Aspergers or not!

soapboxqueen · 01/05/2018 10:12

Ally I agree it is difficult to get a full picture without actually being there. I find it interesting that essentially two people behaved in exactly the same manor but only one was removed.

She laughed when others thought she shouldn't and someone verbally abused her. Others laughed and she said something back (though not abusive). Yet she was removed. The only difference being the 'accepted' time to laugh.

I'd rather have the people shouting 'retard' and 'bitch' removed than somebody laughing at something.

soapboxqueen · 01/05/2018 10:15

missbonita We could charge a £1 a throw (soft rotten fruits and veg only) and give the money to charity. Win win all round.

Also I've decided that larger cinemas should have an app that allows you to report poor behaviour in the cinema so the staff can respond quickly. Obviously with a bar code on your ticket to log the correct screen etc

RexManning · 01/05/2018 10:19

IME, and without wishing to stereotype, it's usually much better in the arthouse chains - Picturehouse, Everyman etc - than it is in the multiplexes. Most people only have multiplexes nearby, however. There is no way that four or five year olds should be going to 12A films but it's such a toothless certificate that there's nothing really to be done.

I usually just give a hard stare but I did properly shush a couple who were crunching a huge bucket of popcorn and slurping a massive drink during A Quiet Place the other week. They were properly ruining the film.

Orangecake123 · 01/05/2018 10:19

I like people to just be quiet. A small amount of noise is reasonable.

I was at a film where there was just the 3 of us .The CF answering a call gave me pure rage.

AllyMcBeagle · 01/05/2018 10:24

Ally I agree it is difficult to get a full picture without actually being there. I find it interesting that essentially two people behaved in exactly the same manor but only one was removed.

Apparently they were both removed, but I agree it's still difficult to judge without having been there.

m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/bfi-southbank-apologises_uk_5ae6fbf2e4b02baed1bc2302/
The BFI said the man who swore at Parker was also removed from the screening.

soapboxqueen · 01/05/2018 10:27

Ally it is good that this other person was removed too.

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