Help Cycling Advice

[MyOtherUserNameIsAUnicorn]

DP is cycling from here to Paris to raise money for charity. Basically he is ill-trained and ill prepared! We're just trying to pack a bag. I've bought him "bum cream" lots of factor 50, aftersun, deep heat and blister plasters...
any advice on other things to pack? (Apart from a miracle)

Why would he risk that?? Has he got something decent to carry water? He will need something better than a bottle I should think. He'll potentially go miles with nowhere to fill up! He; will need a camel pack or something?

Also why are YOU the one who has bought his supplies? He should know what he needs and have preferred versions of them.

Yep, Camelbak. Is he on a supported ride or just doing it alone/with mates? Do they have bike maintenance covered?
Extra charged phone power packs for when he needs to google local french taxi firms who pick up in the countryside and carry bikes?

Oh wow. That is a heck of a challenge.

I assume there isn't much time to prepare now, so the usual stuff of "break in new kit, get proper saddle and bike fit etc" won't help?

I'd say something like a camelbak might help with his hydration, as he can sip it frequently, whereas he might forget/not want to stop to drink from bottles.

A decent pair of sunnies - wrap round to keep glare out.
Cycling cap for similar reasons and also as a bit of a sweat mopper-upper (he can wear under helmet if he wants)
Cotton neckerchief if he is liable to get sunburned there otherwise!
Assume he has decent padded shorts/kit/weather gear?
Clean socks (you don't know how good they feel until you do!)
Solar charger if he is using a device to track his route/map his way?
Good lights and batteries/recharging device
Plenty of snacks!

There's probably more....

He needs at least 2 bottles of water on his bike; energy gels and bars bought from cycle shop so they have the right balance of sugars etc; chamois cream for his arse; you can buy this powder you add to water to keep salts and sugars in balance. Think DH has one of these and two waters when on sportives. Sunglasses and cap to go under his helmet; suncream. If he is woefully under prepared I would suggest he doesn't do it. My DH does 120km rides in Italy and France. He really prepares.

On a road bike? No camelbak, bottles on the frame are much better.

Extra snack bars/gels. Emergency cash, £ and Euro.

Decent cycling shorts with a proper pad in and tell him to take his underpants off and just wear the shorts next to the skin.
How far is yours to Paris?

Well it depends where "here" is. It's not much of a challenge if you live just outside of Paris.

Sorry might have made it sound worse than it is!
It's an organised group ride. Our son is 12 weeks so training has taken a step back. Although I agree it's a risk, it's mostly the lack of packing and having the time to think of all potential things! I've bought them because he's working silly hours at the moment and I'm on MAT leave I was in town this morning and thought I'd pick him up the nice things to help.
Great ideas so far. Most of them I've got.
You know when you just want someone to check you've thought of everything. I think we've both got baby brain!

I would want: spare cycling shorts, spare inner tubes, camelbak, caffeine gels in case of lows, probably some anti-inflammatories. Remember not to take any codeine, as it's more restricted there than here. Packets of jelly/other high energy sweets?

Also I wouldnt take a backpack, I'd use a rack with panniers. His back will be aching with a backpack on.

Westcountry to Paris.

Passport!

@ShotsFired good call on the neckerchief.

Thing with the gels though, is if he is not used to them they can really give you a gippy tum and/or the runs.

He either needs to start getting used to them pdq or stick to real food for energy.

(They taste pretty grim anyway)

Tube of electrolyte tablets to go in his water bottle (Nuun/SiS are good)
I'd probably just take one bottle of sun cream and buy more if you need it, but get a SPF lipbalm (Superdrug do one) as well.
Inner tubes, CO2 cartridges, multitool, spare chain link never a bad idea.
Charger cable for phone and Garmin.
Gloves
Socks
Sunglasses
Energy gels/whatever he likes to use and doesn't upset his stomach

Presumably if it's an organised group they'll be doing luggage transport and will have tools, so he won't need to bring panniers, but ask them as they may have a kit list.

@ShotsFired Shotblox are much nicer than gels and don't give you the runs.

Definite no to the camelbak. Carrying water on your back is stupid - put it on the bike in a bottle. You can easily stop and refill. Carrying anything on your back will just make you sweaty and make your bum hurt.

But if he is not able to ride and drink from bottles at the same time, he will very easily become dehydrated if the group is not up for stopping for regular drink breaks.

That's my camelbak reasoning at least (from personal experience < not envy!).

In your opinion carefreee. I cycled London to Brighton and across Jordan with a Camelbak and found it very comfortable and convenient.

Chamois cream
Few changes of good quality cycle shorts (absolutely must go commando)
Water recepticles
Electrolyte tablets for water
Glucose tablets
Snacks (flapjack, banana, raisins, cereal bars etc.)
Basic first aid kit - plasters, blister plasters, saline, tweezers (for washing/picking the gravel out of the road rash), antihistamines, vaseline, sun block
Spare socks
Maintenance kit (multi tool, puncture repair kit, tyre levers, pump/CO2 canisters, spare inner tubes)
Decent bike service before he goes

I assume they're supported ie. not carrying their gear?

He'll need tubes, Co2 canisters and energy gels. The gels give you the shits but it's better than getting the wobbles and passing out in a ditch.

Chamois cream to apply a couple of times a day.

Indomethacin spray

On the road bike I'd always go with a couple of bidons over something on your back every time.(Rule #32) Weight on the bike and a free back makes a massive difference. Electrolyte sachets for the water is good though.

Print out The Rules and remind him of

#5 harden the fuck up

#20
If your quads start to burn, shift forward to use your hamstrings and calves, or if your calves or hamstrings start to burn, shift back to use your quads, or if you feel wimpy and weak, meditate on Rule #5 and train more!

Most importantly,

Rule #37

The arms of the eyewear shall always be placed over the helmet straps. No exceptions. This is for various reasons that may or may not matter; it’s just the way it is

Oh, should he make it, please make sure he knows #95

Never lift your bike over your head.

Under no circumstances is it acceptable to raise one’s machine above your head. The only exception is when placing it onto a car’s roof-rack.

Oh god not that velominati bollocks.
The type of people that take that seriously are the type of people who pushed me into riding solo and never doing another organised event again.

I tend more towards:
"Ride as much or as little, or as long or as short as you feel. But ride."

• Eddy Merckx

I'm yet to meet anyone who took the rules too seriously. Do you understand satire?

I bet you wore non-black shorts