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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you’ve ever broken down on a motorway....

93 replies

Lookatmeimsandradeeee · 29/04/2018 23:14

... as the only adult and also had young children in the car, what did you do in terms of ‘evacuating to safety’? Hypothetical scenario but suddenly realising I have no idea what would be best....

I have two DCs, Preschool ages. I saw a car broken down today on the motorway (hard shoulder) and I suddenly realised I have no idea how I’d manage getting my kids to safety if I was on my own while we waited for a breakdown service.

Asked my DH - he said it would be a judgement call based on the situation which in my case, would probably be blind panic. Now I’m really overthinking it and can’t get it out of my head.

if You’ve ever been in this situation, what did you do? Or what do you think you would do? My worry is they won’t hold my hand, or try and wriggle out of my arms......

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 29/04/2018 23:17

Luckily we were able to pull over to the hard shoulder, got out the car and went to the top of the embankment. then one of us went to the breakdown phone while the other waited with the dogs and kids.
When they were little I used reins. People shout at you but its just so much safer.

wibblywobblyfish · 29/04/2018 23:19

Get out the car and get behind the barrier and stand on the verge as far from the motorway as possible. Never ever sit in the car on the hard shoulder. The RAC/Aa are very good in my experience at prioritising parents with kids in precarious situations

ineedamoreadultieradult · 29/04/2018 23:21

I broke down with a three year old a one year old and a dog. I left the dog in the car. Took the three year old up the embankment to where there was a wooden fence and a farmer's field beyond and put him over the fence and basically did my no nonsense mum voice that he had to stay behind the fence. I took the 1 year old out the car in his car seat and put that over the fence with him still strapped in, he was screaming blue murder but at least he couldn't escape. After this while I was on the phone to the AA a white van man stopped behind us and after making sure I was ok went up the embankment and pulled.funny faces etc at the kids until the AA got there which was incredibly quickly.

Wolfiefan · 29/04/2018 23:23

I once owned a totally shit Renault. I took to never going anywhere without a bag of toys, drinks, snacks and even a pop up tent. Blush

plominoagain · 29/04/2018 23:25

I had 3 under 7 with me when I suddenly lost all my power on the M25 . Managed to coast to the hard shoulder , where I managed to get the 6 year old and the 4 yo out of the near side , and pinned them between the front passenger car door and me while I got the 2 year old out . Then carried the 2 year old , had hold of 4 yo and sent 6 yo ahead of me over the hard shoulder barrier and then climbed up the embankment as far as we could get away from the car . Was fortunate that DS1 was sensible generally , DS2 thought it was a grand adventure , and thought we’d stopped for truck spotting , and DS3 was just bewildered. Traffic police turned up not long after , and then I realised we’d been seen by the motorway cameras which had been trained on us whilst we’d been stuck . Not my favourite day I have to say .

RaininSummer · 29/04/2018 23:25

I broke down in the 'fast pan's with my kids. We had been in a huge traffic jam and when we tried to move off, the clutch had gone. It was bloody terrifying as all the traffic was hurling last us. Luckily I had a mobile but it still took the police half an hour to come and move us to the hard shoulder. So many people drove by on their phones too. I have no idea what would have happened if this had been the pre mobile years.

RaininSummer · 29/04/2018 23:27

Fast lane bloody autocorrect

TheDairyQueen · 29/04/2018 23:27

Get out of the car and up the embankment pronto. I cringe when I see people wandering around on the hard shoulder, it just shouldn't happen.

WutheringFrights · 29/04/2018 23:36

The pop top roof on my vw broke from its fixings on the motorway - it popped right up in 70mph gusts of wind and torrential rain and there was no way I could fix it.
I was on my own with a baby and a toddler who were both asleep.
First of all I panicked, called my husband and told him to get the RAC out as my phone was just about to run out of battery.
Woke up the children with a jolly- how exciting we’re having an adventure!
Got them out, up the very steep embankment where we sat in the pouring rain singing songs from frozen and eating bananas and revels.
RAC turned up, fixed the roof down with a shit ton of wire and then asked me if my maiden name was ‘xxx’ which it was. Transpired the last time we had seen each other was over 20 years ago when we were 18 and I was snogging his face off. Blush

Bunbunbunny · 29/04/2018 23:43

It is bloody scary, was in fast lane on m4 clutch went urgh

I’d always advise to have emergency cover they were there within 20 minutes and get behind the barrier, the speed of the trucks and lorries that go past can pull. You feel the force standing behind the barriers, m4 didn’t have much of a ledge to stand on was crapping myself!

IHeartKingThistle · 29/04/2018 23:57

I'm just militant about having my phone charged now as I once broke down on a very busy dual carriageway and my phone died. I didn't have the DC with me thank goodness but I ended up walking down the side of the road (fucking terrifying) in the rain to the next slip road which I knew led to a pub. Went in and asked to use their phone to call the AA as we had cover. The AA refused to come out because I had left the vehicle and 'it might not be there any more if we come out as the police might have moved it.' (It had been there about half an hour by this point). They said they'd only come out if I returned to the vehicle, i.e walked back down the side of the dual carriageway. I was sobbing down the phone but the woman was adamant that's what I had to do. Eventually lovely staff from the pub ended up helping me to get home and I was able to retrieve the car (which, astonishingly, the police hadn't rushed to move). I didn't hear from the AA again.

Apparently that's policy. I'm not with them any more. And I keep my phone charged!

What did people do before mobiles though?

DoveBlue · 30/04/2018 00:32

I would ring Police and state I was broken down and with very young DCs who could not be trusted around cars and therefore concerned about leaving the vehicle. If they could attend quickly would probably wait in the car. Would depend on speed of traffic and the time of day.

I have toddler carrier in the car but now thinking of getting spare sets of reins just for the car! I would not trust just hand holding only with my two toddlers as they think running in different directions is a game.

TheOriginalEmu · 30/04/2018 03:18

Happened to me on the m4 in torrential rain, I had 3 under 5s at the time. Luckily Hmm I had the baby’s sling in the car so he went in that (was fun doing that behind the wheel). He was a few months old, then I had the 2 and 4 year olds hold my hand and then we climbed the embankment and talked to the sheep and horses in the field until the police showed up. It was not fun.

Havingahorridtime · 30/04/2018 03:31

If I was with my severely disabled teenager I would be screwed. There is no way I could safely get him up (and stay up) the embankment. I think I would have to phone the police as well as the breakdown.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 30/04/2018 03:36

Horrible.

Make sure you have that emergency triangle thingy in the boot to put behind the car especially if you can't get onto the hard shoulder.

We have a charger that connects to the lighter in the car so phones are always charged.

Definitely get out of the car and go onto the embankment. We have our dog in a crate in the back at all times so he can be easily removed and contained.

Maybe we should get a crate for the kids too...

Failing a crate, reins are definitely a good idea, no idea why they're so hated, they're so useful.

Happyandshiney · 30/04/2018 03:39

When my twins were little I always kept two sets of reins and a blanket in the car for just this reason.

We also have a family rule of “always take coats for everyone if you are going in the car” just in case of breakdowns.

sashh · 30/04/2018 03:42

I have a disability so can't get out of the car, over a barrier and up an embankment if I break down, the advice from the AA / RAC has been to get the car as far to the left as you can and to sit on the left hand side with seat belts on.

crunchymint · 30/04/2018 04:00

My DP broke down just before the Dartford tunnel with 2 kids 5 and 7 year olds. He pulled over to the hard shoulder and got everyone out of the car and on the embankment. Unfortunately there was a problem in the tunnel and so the breakdown vehicle could not get through. He waited 8 hours with 2 kids. He said it was absolute hell.

Handsupbabyhandsup · 30/04/2018 04:43

I cars engine seized when on a busy motorway. In the fast lane and going up a large hill. There was no warning - the water pump had broken. Old car so no warning lights or anything.

It was terrifying. Hazard lights on and I rang the emergency number. An off duty police officer stopped and ran across the road and popped the bonnet up so it was clearer to other drivers that the car was broken.

In the end police had to close the road and roll the car backwards and downwards to clear it.

My mum was crying the whole time. It was traumatic.

londongirl12 · 30/04/2018 04:52
  1. make sure you have breakdown cover and store the phone number in your phone. Make sure to tell them you have kids with you as they'll put you as a higher priority.
  2. always get out the car and stand behind the barrier a little way from the car. Even if it's torrential rain. Too many accidents happen with other road users not paying attention and thinking your car is moving and in the live lanes.
  3. be prepared as others have said - blankets, reins etc.
  4. don't panic!!!! Make a joke of it with the kids. If they see you upset/ worried, they will too. Count how many coloured cars go past etc.
Blobbyweeble · 30/04/2018 05:28

I used to carry dog leads in the car, so when I broke down I attached leads to each child’s waistband and looped them over my wrist then held hands too while we got over the barrier. I was very stern about the danger but the leads were there as an added safety device.
Fortunately I was always very firm about the dangers of traffic and I had a totally non negotiable rule about holding hands near roads and never running off ahead so they were used to it.

Chottie · 30/04/2018 05:43

In answer to a PP pre mobile phones, there used to be emergency telephones at regular intervals by the side of the motorway. You just used them to phone for help.

FelixBrown · 30/04/2018 05:58

You don't use a warning triangle if you break down on a motorway.

Slartybartfast · 30/04/2018 06:11

With my mum and 2 toddlers, climbed up on the embankment. cursing lack of coats. DM insisted on bringing the dog but the recovery man told her she should have left her in the car as he had seen owners runnign after their dogs

tortelliniforever · 30/04/2018 06:26

What are you meant to do on "smart" motorways without a hard shoulder?

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