I know I am but

[selfishdilema]

Ok so name changed.
I've been offered a job of my dreams but it's about a 30 min drive from home, (no public transport links apart from 1 bus per day)
Better money, better hours, better benefits 1 being a salary sacrifice car (important)
However I can't take it 😔 we've only got one car it's and old banger and my dh is going to need it for the School runs, School is 2 miles away dd has hypermobility so walking is out and I'll have to leave before and be home later than School times breakfast club etc.
Been offered a car on finance but as I've poor credit history from a few years ago (undiagnosed asd in ds resulting in not being able to work-now sorted) the payments are very high (unaffordable) for not a very good car, all I need is £500 to get another car until I can get my salary sacrifice one (after 6 months) and I'm sulking cos can't do it. So I know Aibu but am still sulking ☹️ and venting here because dh is sick of me moaning.

We just had a seat on the back of the bike. It wasn’t expensive. Raincoat for rainy days.

Can your DH not drive you to work a bit earlier, then take DD to school. Then after pick up he comes to collect you?

If one child is in a specialist school, do the LA not provide transport?

Most councils have a family Information Services, talk to them, or even CAB.do not give up on this.

I’d even discuss with the new employer. There HAS to be a way

In the nicest way, OP, you seem to be coming up with reasons not to take this job, rather than thinking you'll try one of the suggested solutions - is this because you lack confidence about the job itself?

Surely 2 miles in a taxi would be the cheapest way? If your husband has an aversion to taxis, he can walk back, can't he?

You can't give up on the job!

@NeedAUsernameGenerator
We wait for school bus to collect ds at 7.50 ish that is locally
Then at the moment we take me to my current work 10 mins away
then dd to nursery. It's only a school nursery so closes at 11.45.
My concern i guess is drop off dd at 8.45 never escape before 9 for the 2 mile walk home, then to set off back to collect at 11.45. It's lot of walking without much of a gap

Could one of you get a credit card or overdraft for the car then just pay it back from the wages on pay day?

@TaliZorahVasNormandy yes that has been suggested.

My ds does get a school bus he's not the problem dd is.

I'd look into every option possible for a job that pays better, with better hours. It's only a temporary solution until you can get the car.

How many miles away is it? I have walked in similar circumstances.

We will probably do the walking/taxi/biking combo i just worry that I am someone else's like life more difficult for the sake of making mine easier/better.

I have no worries about the job, it's a change yes new people etc but the work itself is fine.

I just worry.

Could you get a motor scooter, or powered bike ?

Dd School is 4.3 miles round trip. So that twice a day with about an hour between until sept.

My new job 19 miles.

I know it'll work out, it's temporary and will be more improved in sept it's just short term chaos which never goes down well in this house

If dd has hypermobility, could she be entitled to transport from the LA?

Could you buy a £100 banger that's got 6 months MOT?

I used to get on a train with DS at 6 a.m. to get to child minder's for 6:50 so I could start my shift at 7. Fed DS on the train if he didn't go back to sleep. If he did I'd carry him on my back to the CM'ers.

So, starting off at 6:30 in the car for the next 6 months, in summer/autumn when it's light out, doesn't seem that terrible. Just do earlier bedtimes.

Could your DH not volunteer to help out in school? Parents willing to listen to kids read or be an extra pair of hands in class are always welcome. That way he only would have to walk twice rather than four times.

Or maybe a mix of things. Two or three days he has the car and drops you off early and the others you have the car and he walks or volunteers at school. You might find someone at your new place of work who you can car share with to safe costs.

Can anyone else transport your daughter? Would or such a short time.
I think your DH is right. You’ll muddle though and I the end will be very pleased you did

Are you sure there's only one bus a day? How would anyone who caught that bus get back then?
It might be possible to use that bus service at least one way?

When you start your new job, it might be possible to explain your transport difficulties and be granted some sort of wages advance or bringing forward of the date for your company car?

It's possible to buy a fairly decent car for around £1k second hand if you're able to raise the money.

i just worry that I am someone else's like life more difficult for the sake of making mine easier/better.

You should view it as beneficial for your whole family that you're getting a much better job. You'll all have access to a reliable car in a few months, rather than an old banger - that's a big plus for all of you, especially with your DD's mobility issues.

@welcometonarnia that would be ideal but my ds has asd all that travelling isnt possible for him that would be 4 hours a day on a bus or in a car.

I've accepted it I just can't let this pass me by. Thanks for the ideas 💡

Hope the new job goes well, OP.

So one child is collected locally & the other needs transporting just miles to school?

If the roads are OK, I'm surprised that you haven't already thought about a bike & trailer tbh.

I've already ordered the car leaflets to decide what I want. We would keep the old one running too for as long as it starts for local runs for dh.

That's another thing, what if the bloody car breaks down!

Interest free credit card loan to buy something cheap until you get the other car?

Honestly for the sake of six months this is such a non problem. It'll be over before you realise.

I'm glad you're still going to take the job.