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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave job I hate but cause problems for a colleague

38 replies

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 15:18

I have NC for this but I’m a regular poster. I’ve previously mentioned my job and city so don’t want to be identified.

I own my own business, a type of franchise. Another local similar business owner suggested that we amalgamate s few years ago - we are now in the process, and a third party has invested in new, larger premises to accommodate us.

But - I absolutely hate my job. I have found it more and more stressful over the past year and it is making me ill. I’m always contactable by nature of the job, and it’s constantly ruining my days off, annual leave and evenings. I could give it up and do a similar role as free-lance, for reasonable money. DH has health problems and we are also trying to conceive. Working as free-lance would make life a lot easier.

But - if I resign, it’ll leave the third party with a building he doesn’t need. It’s several hundred thousand - I can’t afford to pay towards this. He could probably rent it out to someone else though eventually. No contracts have been signed - just word of mouth.

Do you think I can walk away from this and not leave my professional refutation in tatters? Sorry it’s a bit vague - I don’t want to give too many details about the business just in case

OP posts:
SavageBeauty73 · 29/04/2018 15:21

Not an expert but isn't there a contract in place? I can't see how you could walk away if it's hundreds of thousands invested

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 15:27

There’s nothing in writing. The party that invested in the premises stands to make money from our business being close to theirs, which is why they spent so much on the building

OP posts:
araiwa · 29/04/2018 15:29

I cant see how any professional reputation would hold after doing it

Without a contract, everyone involved already seems incredibly naive and unprofessional . If you walk could you be at risk of being sued?

bluebell34567 · 29/04/2018 15:34

talk to them about your circumstances. maybe they have second thoughts, too.

Springnowplease · 29/04/2018 15:35

You have a verbal contract, though.

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 15:43

I cant see how any professional reputation would hold after doing it

That’s what I’m afraid of. Although, it would probably be possible to do the free-lancework in our closest city, and possibly under my married name.

I don’t know if a verbal contract means I can be sued? I suppose I will need to get legal advice on this. I know the right thing to do is to stay doing this job and go ahead with the proposed move. Which if I do, basically means giving up the dream of having another child, and making myself ill through stress in the meantime Sad

OP posts:
GirlsBlouse17 · 29/04/2018 15:49

They have taken a risk in spending money on premises without any signed contract with you being in place.

Could you sell your franchise as a going concern to someone else?

HollowTalk · 29/04/2018 15:54

I don't understand this.

Are you saying something like this:

You have a cafe which is part of a franchise. Someone you know also has a cafe. You decide to go into business together. (What about the franchise???)

Someone else is buying a property which will house both businesses. Now you don't want to do this any more and are wondering whether you can be sued?

Has the other person actually bought the building? What stage are they at with it? How much would it cost to pull out?

What about the other person with the cafe or whatever it is? Do you want to pull out of the whole deal?

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:00

Yes, basically I hold a contact to provide a service, as does the person I am due to amalgamate with. We are planing to merge both businesses, which has been given approval by the owner of the franchise. We plan to move these into a bigger building, which has been purchased by a third party.

I no longer want to do any of this. I can give 3 months notice to hand my contract back to the franchise owner and walk away. But it leaves the third party with an empty building of no use, unless they rent it out elsewhere.

There’s a high chance someone else would take my business over, but it’s not guaranteed. But my replacement may not want to go ahead with this proposed merger and moving to new premises.

OP posts:
Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:01

The third party has already bought the building in the last year.

OP posts:
Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:02

It technically wouldnt cost me anything to pull out, unless I get sued by the premises owner. I would have to pay redundancy to my staff if nobody wants to take over my business, but i have calculated this and I can manage this, just about. The empty building is worth around £200,000.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 29/04/2018 16:06

So he's bought a building you and the other person would rent bit only of you merge your "cafes".
Would the other "cafe" owner still rent half and he'd just have to rent the other part out?

Cindie943811A · 29/04/2018 16:07

Can you not it your teeth and bear for a year until business is up and running in the new location and then your prospective partner could get someone else in to take over your interest

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:08

So he's bought a building you and the other person would rent bit only of you merge your "cafes".

Yes, that sums it up well

OP posts:
Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:08

Would the other "cafe" owner still rent half and he'd just have to rent the other part out?

No, he would have no need to move to this new larger building, if I wasn’t going to move.

OP posts:
Booboobooboo84 · 29/04/2018 16:10

Could you not make the move and look to hire a manager to run your side of the business day to day?

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:12

Can you not it your teeth and bear for a year until business is up and running in the new location and then your prospective partner could get someone else in to take over your interest

Yes, that is also an option, and possibly the most likely outcome. I’m worried as this is also a potentially shitty thing to do as well though, as the new, larger joint business will probably be disproportionately busier and more stressful for the next several years.

It’s the sort of challenge I would have loved a few years ago. But as we now want to have a baby (I’m 39) and DH’s health has worsened, it just seems like too daunting s prospect.

OP posts:
AnnieOH1 · 29/04/2018 16:14

If I may I think you're being naive to think that you are going to be any less challenged for time freelancing than as a company. In fact to me you'd be getting all the downsides of working for yourself with none of the upsides.

Are there other options for you? Perhaps you could look at putting a manager in place or an executive level assistant to take some of the pressure of you and act as gatekeeper/to answer stupid questions/to take the reigns on paperwork and day to day things. Perhaps you could negotiate with the business you are proposing to merge with that they will take on the larger role but be willing to give over some of your shares to them?

Aside from that though, if you're in a specialist market then i really think you will struggle. Whatever your service is it sounds niche, given that it will potentially drive so many more customers into the third party's business (i.e. it's not just a cafe that can be found on any street in the country, and if one is closed or busy you can go onto the next place without problem) - if I'm right, then is the potential customer pool a small community where you could easily end up outcast? I know you say that you could work under your married name versus maiden name, but don't you think the business you'd be stiffing would find out? If you've really cost them thousands don't you think they would do everything in their power to make sure people were aware of you? I know if someone had backed out on big promises to me, I'd want to make sure that anyone else (customers in particular) knew you didn't keep your word.

If I were in your situation I'd be looking for this merger as the perfect time to take my foot off the gas for a bit, but that may only come after a lot of work to build the new premises up of course. I think you'd be very foolish to simply walk away from something that is showing success.

I'd strongly recommend that you perhaps attend some local networking events or even just get some online support from other business owners - it can become too easy to not see the wood for the trees - especially when you're balancing children, ill health and other family issues.

Good luck!

Thespringsthething · 29/04/2018 16:16

It's a very flimsy business plan if it rests so heavily on you- what if you were pregnant (as you hope to be) and need mat leave, or got ill or just wanted to relocate.

The investor still has the building worth a lot of money, so it is not like they are losing that, simply the opportunity to house the new business within it (I guess it's a relative perhaps as no random invests in two other people doing their franchises to that tune).

You do need legal advice just in case though.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/04/2018 16:16

How well do you know merger person and building owner?

TomRavenscroft · 29/04/2018 16:18

If I may I think you're being naive to think that you are going to be any less challenged for time freelancing than as a company.

I came on to say a similar thing. I'm freelance and don't have days off or annual leave in any structured way.

Littleredboat · 29/04/2018 16:19

I think it does sound like a shitty thing to do to the other two, tbh.

Can’t you recruit a manager for your bit instead?

Strongmummy · 29/04/2018 16:23

Your mental health is paramount. I would talk to both about it and explain the situation. I wouldn’t feel too bad at all. The 3rd person has a building - an asset - which he can rent out or sell. The other business owner may want to buy you out or know someone else who will. Be upfront and professional with them. Good luck

Mozarelladippers · 29/04/2018 16:36

Thanks everybody’s day for the replies. I agree with those who say it is a shitty thing I’m thinking of doing, unfortunately.

There’s a lack of people offering this service in the U.K., and it’s likely to be the same for the next 10-15 years. There is a lot of freelance work available at present. I used to do it, and yes it does have stresses of its own. But it would be far easier to do it if my DH needs me to be at home more to care for him (this is quite likely in the next few years).

I know the business owner I’m joining with very well, but I don’t know the building owner well at all (he is a personal friend of the business owner)

OP posts:
GirlsBlouse17 · 29/04/2018 16:37

If you are going to pull out, it may be better to do it now than a year or two down the line. It may be less messy doing it now. It may sound like being selfish, but you need to think of yourself and DH. At least there is nothing in writing at this point but still check your legal position. Speak to the other business owner and third party though about what you want to do. If they have time, they can make other plans. The other business owner may wish to buy your franchise. You could work as a manager until they get someone else in place.

If you give this up however, how will your own financial situation be, if you have DH who is not well and you are planning on having a baby?

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