To leave job I hate but cause problems for a colleague

[Mozarelladippers]

I have NC for this but I’m a regular poster. I’ve previously mentioned my job and city so don’t want to be identified.

I own my own business, a type of franchise. Another local similar business owner suggested that we amalgamate s few years ago - we are now in the process, and a third party has invested in new, larger premises to accommodate us.

But - I absolutely hate my job. I have found it more and more stressful over the past year and it is making me ill. I’m always contactable by nature of the job, and it’s constantly ruining my days off, annual leave and evenings. I could give it up and do a similar role as free-lance, for reasonable money. DH has health problems and we are also trying to conceive. Working as free-lance would make life a lot easier.

But - if I resign, it’ll leave the third party with a building he doesn’t need. It’s several hundred thousand - I can’t afford to pay towards this. He could probably rent it out to someone else though eventually. No contracts have been signed - just word of mouth.

Do you think I can walk away from this and not leave my professional refutation in tatters? Sorry it’s a bit vague - I don’t want to give too many details about the business just in case

I think Strongmummy is talking a lot of sense.

I think I know what business you are in from what you have said. If I am right get out while you can. It will only get more stressful. Your mental health is paramount and your skill will mean that you will get a job in the future; your skill is very valuable. Be honest and professional to both parties; but it will be so much harder to get out of later.

Why is it all so stressful?
I know a business owner who just got fed up with not seeing her young child, due to working too much, she’s agreed to become a director and boy and step back from day to day for a while. Can you not do the same? Her previous no2 has really stepped up and is relishing the responsibility and they’ve taken on someone new lower down the chain.

What made you decide to go ahead with this in the first place if you were planning to ttc?

Could you sell the business? Or be a silent partner? Go part time?

Agree with Girls... it’s going to get too much for you sooner or later and I think the consequences will be much worse if you pull out once you merge. The empty building is just that - he can find new tenants. I don’t believe he’d purchase a 200k property without anything written if he knew he could turn it into something else if this merger didn’t happen.

I think I know what business you are in from what you have said

How on earth could anyone know this?

Thanks again everyone.

If I left, our financial position is ok- our mortgage is almost paid off due to downsizing. It’s probably crazy ttc with this hanging over me, but I feel it’s the last chance I’ll get. I have one older child who I had in my 20’s, and barely saw due to me working long hours back then.

One thing is true though, I’ll have to speak to the other business owner about my doubts, which is a conversation I’ll be dreading

Talk to your friend. Be honest and ask their opinion

It doesn't make sense to have another child if you know you'll be caring for your husband in a few years.
Sounds like your older child will slip further down the ladder in terms of priority if you've to meet the needs of a sick partner and young child too. In my experience teenagers and young adults need their parents a lot.

You’re probably right. Sadly I think I’m resigned to staying in the shitty job and not having any more children .

A verbal contract is legally binding if there is consideration on both sides i.e. both you and the building owner are giving up something in order to gain something else.
Please seek legal advice if you don’t want to go through with it, a solicitor will be able to negotiate the best way out of this for you.

Mozarelladippers I don't think you should write yourself off but I think you need to be realistic about what you can manage.
Right now you seem certain that you will be miserable if you go forward with the new work venture. You owe it to yourself to discuss your concerns with your new work partner. They maybe in a position to offer a solution you haven't thought of.

Going forward with regards to your husbands care and your child/children you need to explore and the ifs, buts and maybes and decide what's achievable for your family.