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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To no the get rid of my dog?

65 replies

BossyPaws · 28/04/2018 23:19

A year ago around this time of year i bought a Doberman puppy. The puppy proved to be super intelligent and I was able to train him in all basic commands (sit, down, paw, heel, fetch, stay etc) within months. By the time he was 6 months old he was utterly bombproof.

Unfortunately he's not great with other dogs or people he doesn't know. A stupid local woman kept walking her Frenchie around the same time as I waked my dog and she always lets him off the lead to "socialise". I have tried explaining to her that as her dog has NO recall whatsoever he should probably be kept on lead. She ignored me and insisted he needed socialising. This dogs idea of socialising is to clamber and jump at my dog. He gets pissed. Eventually he snaps and pins her dog to the ground by his throat. She reports me. Police come around and DH answers saying he has no idea as to what had gone on and the dog won't walk with him, therefore he never takes it out.

This us true. The dog is 100% devoted to me only. Follows me everywhere. Cries when I go to work and won't leave his vigil at the front door until I return. He won't "walk" with anyone but me.

Anyway with the police coming around and DHs failing relationship with me-obsessed dog he wants to rehome him.

AIBU to tell him to fuck off?

OP posts:
PositivelyPERF · 28/04/2018 23:20

Yes.

PositivelyPERF · 28/04/2018 23:21

You should tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck!

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 28/04/2018 23:22

I don’t think I. Could ever give my dog up. She’s mostly close with me and my mum but she’s like my 3rd child and is closer to me. I just wouldn’t be able to do it.
If that women had her dog off of the lead and your was on the lead then she is in the wrong. I hate people like this. I’d tell Dh to leave if he didn’t like it, ain’t no one coming between me and my dog.

Wolfiefan · 28/04/2018 23:22

You need to consult a behaviourist and have a vet check your dog.
You have a dog that has pinned another dog to the floor and also doesn't like strange people. What if it is a person next time? You need to continue training and for now stay away from anything that triggers this behaviour.
Was your dog on lead or off? If your dog is on lead nobody should be letting a dog near it.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 28/04/2018 23:23

Absolutely tell him to do one.

missmorleyme · 28/04/2018 23:26

Id tell him to do one. You will get more loyalty and love from the dog than him if his actions about it are to go by. And that woman is foolish to believe that the dog needs socialising, not all dogs are dog friendly and she should keep it on the lead in public places, especially if she has no recall at all to fall back on.

Blueemeraldagain · 28/04/2018 23:26

You can keep your dog but surely you can see he needs training? The level of dependency your dog has on you could indicate that he actually feels very insecure.

TemptressofWaikiki · 28/04/2018 23:28

Yes! Re-home the husband.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 28/04/2018 23:28

You're going through the teenage stage with your dog - but this is a dog that needs professional input more than most.

Muzzle your dog (basket muzzle, not cloth style, as you don't want to restrict breathing) and train your dog to be happy having it on. You can't have your dog pinning any other dog to the ground - no matter what has led up to it. The Frenchie's owner may have been in the wrong by not recalling her dog when you asked - but you need to ensure that your dog is not a danger to others and does not escalate situations in such a dangerous fashion.

Get your dog to training classes, run by a reputable qualified trainer - and not one that advocates alpha pack leader methods or similar. You may need one to one sessions if your dog cannot cope with other dogs in a class environment.

There's a reason why a lot of dogs come into rescue at about your dogs' age, but part of responsible dog ownership is training your dog through that stage and not giving up because the going got a bit tough.

You may like to come over to The Doghouse subforum, where you'll get lots of advice and support from those who have had similar issues.

UpstartCrow · 28/04/2018 23:30

I don't understand why the police were called if the other dog wasn't injured and there were no vet bills for you to pay. A dog on dog fight is not an offence.
I don't understand why you stood there and allowed your dog to be harassed to the point where he pinned the other dog. Next time act faster and physically intervene.

I wouldn't describe your dog as utterly bombproof. Its nothing to be proud of that your dog will only listen to one member of the family.

For your dogs sake, see a professional trainer asap and get him sorted out before he does some serious damage to someone else's pet, them, or your relationship.

Teaandbiscuits35 · 28/04/2018 23:30

Not unreasonable at all! He's your dog so your responsibility. I'd get help with his behaviour though.

Wolfiefan · 28/04/2018 23:32

It is an offence for a dog to be out of control or to make a person feel threatened. Yep. They don't have to actually harm anyone.
He's not bombproof if he grabs a dog by the throat and is scared of people. Huge behavioural issues here. You need proper professional support.

Shedmicehugh1 · 28/04/2018 23:33

Agree don’t get rid of the dog. You need to do something about the dogs behaviour though.

condepetie · 28/04/2018 23:33

Your dog has separation anxiety. If your DH lives with you, your dog should really be OK to hang out with him, not crying for you every time you're not around. It's not your fault that your dog is not keen on off-lead dogs bothering him - it is your problem though that he can't deal with being away from you.

It's not healthy for the dog to be so attached to you, and only you. It may seem cute but what if you weren't around?

You need to let DH bond with the dog. There are many, many resources about separation anxiety available online. Please give them a read, both of you.

Offlead dogs are not your problem. If it happens again, document it - "this dog approached mine, I informed owner that my dog is not friendly to new dogs, she insisted her dog was friendly, her dog was bitten by my dog" etc. Dates and times and photos, if possible. If your dog is leashed, he is controlled. A dog offleash is uncontrolled. It's the owner's fault especially if you've already told her that your dog is not friendly.

SomeKnobend · 28/04/2018 23:34

How did your dog pin the other one to the ground? Was your dog on the lead? Did you not pull your dog away before it got to the point of pinning down?
Yanbu to keep the dog but you should have socialised him with other dogs at a very early age. His issues will take a lot to overcome. You desperately need to get some decent training from a qualified dog behaviourist.

Lucked · 28/04/2018 23:37

I agree your dog is not bombproof!
As well as other people’s dogs not doing as they are told children can be unpredictable so you need to do something’s and soon.

nooka · 28/04/2018 23:38

A 'bombproof' dog would have let the other dog climb all over it and not reacted at all. Your dog is not bombproof. Very very few dogs are. I love dogs but to be honest I can see your dh's point of view a little. It's not much fun living with a dog who is obsessed with someone else to that extent.

Ivorbig1 · 28/04/2018 23:41

Your dog needs training, to need to realise pinning others dogs down is unacceptable. What if, the next time it’s not a dog. Dogs are devoted, to their owners, you. No one else. Your husband included.

Ivorbig1 · 28/04/2018 23:42

You need to realise. Sorry I missed the word you

Tartsamazeballs · 29/04/2018 08:07

Your dog loves you but is showing signs of being unhappy.

I'd deal with one thing at a time- separation anxiety, one-man-dog, aggression to other dogs are separate issues.

I've got a big dog too- a German shepherd- and they're also known for being devoted to one person and very protective. My husband and I divide dog duties up so I do walks and he does food, and we alternate grooming. Its important that the dog sees where the care is coming from otherwise he won't respect every member of the family. Once our daughter gets a bit older she'll take over feeding duties.

If a dog comes up to you like that it's no good standing like a lemon, drop your dog into a sit with a treat (if it's as bombproof as you say) and grab the other dog. Or, treat in hand to distract and keep walking. Either way be a leader for your dog. TBF a poorly trained Frenchie is a complete nuisance with other dogs so I don't blame your dog for snapping.

Same with people, take charge of the interaction from the start "he's nervous, please pretend he doesn't exist and let him warm to you in his own time, once he's ready I'll give you a treat to give him". If this is ignored (because every random fucker is Cesar Milan) give them a stern NO and walk off.

Separation anxiety = crate training. Simples.

daphneduck · 29/04/2018 08:11

Your dog sounds like a liability.

And so do you.

Oysterbabe · 29/04/2018 08:35

Assuming your dog does have excellent recall then why didn't you recall him? It sounds like he has the potential to be dangerous and should be muzzled in public.

MrsJoker · 29/04/2018 08:45

The OPs dog is not a liability, and neither is the OP. If someone came right up into my face and kept invading my space, I would snap too. In a different way, certainly, but I wouldn’t tolerate it and I think it’s unrealistic to expect the dog to put up with it. However, the dog does needs to learn not to do it again.
OP, you are getting good advice there from experienced dog owners, hope it all work out

Oldsu · 29/04/2018 08:48

Haver you heard of Yellow dog uk www.yellowdoguk.co.uk/ not only can you purchase items that will enable other dog owners to know your dog cant be around other dogs but you can chat to other dog owners who have the same issues, BTW frenchies are cute but can be horrible little buggers if not trained

Oldsu · 29/04/2018 08:50

Sorry if you do get the stuff from yellow dog let the Frenchie woman know what its about and if she still lets her dog annoy ours then at least you can tell the plod you warned her