How much did you consider your guests when planning your wedding?

[BigPinkBall]

As there’s always a thread on here about brides and grooms unreasonable expectations it got me thinking about how much people actually think about their guests, or has the wedding industry promoted the idea of it being “your special day” so much that couples think everyone has to go along with whatever they want?

For my wedding we invited all the children of family and friends, because we wanted the adults to come and didn’t want anyone to have to pay for childcare if they didn’t want to.

We cut back on the bridal party to 1 best man and 1 bridesmaid so we could pay for their outfits, because we wanted them to wear something specific, we also paid for their accommodation.

We picked a venue near where most guests lived and a travel lodge so there was affordable accommodation available for those coming further.

Hen night and stag night were local and probably cost £50 for guest to attend.

And I bet someone still moaned behind your back about it.

I tried to make my wedding as accessible as possible but the truth is you can’t please everyone.

And I bet someone still moaned behind your back about it. true, mil moaned to anyone who’d listen because we weren’t getting married in a church, despite the fact that she didn’t get married in a church herself

We’ve done similar to you, near home, only really my uni friends and a few family need to get accommodation.
I’ve got no bridesmaids.
But I’m sure someone will still find fault about something.

The important thing is I’ve got the music, food and drink i want.
So as much as I think it’s important to consider guests... you’re paying for it so make sure you love it :)

We paid for outfits, hair and make up, shoes, bags, jewelery, had wedding 5 mins from home and one bridesmaid complained all night she didn't have a jacket then left before midnight to save on taxi which would have cost a tenner... She wasn't poor as had same job as me and living at home rent free, no car or bills, just turns out a bad friend! You can never please everyone!

We got married abroad. Didn’t invite anyone and spent what we would have spent on a uk wedding on 3 weeks in our wedding destination. This was about 37 years ago so long before destination weddings were a thing.
No one complained and we just had a party a few months after we got back.

27 not 37

We hired a venue with no steps, so that there would be no access issues for a close relative of DH’s that is paraplegic.

They didn’t even respond to the RSVP.

Our guests were pretty important.

We held the ceremony in my home town but as DHs family is scattered many would have been travelling a long way even if we'd held it closer to where we live now.

We paid for all the outfits for the BM and bridesmaid, plus rooms for them and their OHs. My photographer did Mates rates so we had him and his wife at the reception and paid for a room for them.

The church was within walking distance of the reception venue and there was a large free car park nearby.

The food was simple but well done (soup, steak pie and Eton mess). We had an excellent live band (it's still one of the most commented on things about the day four years on).

Gosh yes, we were only early 20s and still quite poor. I am from a different country than DH, so we paid for accommodation for 15 of my friends (2 nights) so they only had the cost of the flight (wedding in England)

I did not pay for bridesmaid's clothes, she preferred to buy her own. She wore a scarlet dress which made MIL go

We also did not have a seating plan, so people could sit with whom they liked

Worked well actually. I wanted everyone to relax and have fun, weather did not play ball though!

We also paid for taxi back to b&b

Like Titty, all organised so my parents and sister would be able to attend. My Dad couldn't face the grief he'd have been given by DM and DSis, so in the end, none of them came. Let down by friends on the day too with appalling behaviour. Haven't seen any of them since and DDad and Sister have both since died.

Really wish DH and I had just gone away alone. Was possibly the most disappointing day of my life. DH is fab though.

Our wedding was all about making sure our guests were well looked after. I hate going to weddings where they do stuff like leaving the guests standing around while they have endless photos or you sit around waiting for ages.

We made sure there were no long bits with nothing happening. We spent a lot of money on food, drink and entertainment. We had a side room and paid my mum's friend's 16yo dds to entertain the kids. We recommended accommodation with a range of prices, and arranged taxis to and from the station to the venue for people without cars.

We got married where I, my family and lot of my friends are from. Friends from London didn't seem to mind travelling, in any case they all came. The only declines were from people who had already booked their holidays, and that was one family.

We put people who didn't know anyone together on the same table, and I asked my bridesmaids to look out for some friends who didn't know many people. We offered anyone who was single or didn't know many people a plus one and we invited all partners and kids.

I remember thinking about the guests a lot and hoping everyone would have a good time, which I think they did!

Having been to loads of weddings before our own the planning revolved around avoiding the things we hated as guests. So no endless photos, no poems, no grabby gift requests, plenty of info for guests including nearest cash points (country wedding), phone numbers for local taxi companies, tourist info, details of the schedule for the day, contact numbers for BM/MOH (everything we would have found helpful to know as a guest). Wide range of accommodation options.

Separate venue for the evening so no hanging around waiting for the evening guests (really hate that). Our guests chose the songs for the playlist and there were photos of all of them at the venue. Sit down meal, speeches, cake cutting etc were done in the evening and we fed those with long journeys the next day to cut costs for them. Children were very welcome.

Everyone got a photo of the day and a personal thank you letter afterwards - not just a generic "thank you for your gift".

We wanted our guests to be there because they are special to us and so it was important to show them that by trying to make it a good time for them as well as us.

We are from different countries so we had I suppose what some would consider a destination wedding (Europe)

We didn’t invite kids but we were totslly fine with anyone not coming for that reason and for any reason. Well aware not everyone can or wants to travel for weddings.

We didn’t have a wedding party. We told everyone no presents, we helped guests book hotels and we paid quietly for one or two we knew financially struggled. We had plenty of booze and didn’t leave people for ages for photos - it was wedding, then into dinner.

We just tried to keep it low key and relaxed. I hope people enjoyed it - a few told us it was the best wedding they'd been to so we must have done something right.

To a certain extent. We only had a small wedding though, no bridesmaids etc. We did stipulate no children which may have inconvenienced a handful of people but I figured my wants out-trumped theirs on my wedding day.

I considered everyone very carefully and didn't invite them. Let's face it, weddings are shit and nobody is really that bothered about going. I know my dad would have been relieved, he's had 5 of his own he really doesn't need to attend another.

Yes I hate it when guests aren’t considered. WE picked a reception close to the church, lots of rooms, everyone’s partner and kids were invited. Lots of cheaper alternative accommodation nearby. Things for kids to do, lots of food and drink available.

We arranged our wedding to be daytime so people could travel there and back in one day without having to fork out for accommodation.

Stag and hen dos were held locally and were one low cost evening each.

We considered them a lot and did the opposite of everything that had annoyed us at other weddings.

So no travelling, no long gaps, no costs to the guests food and drink wise, no second tier guests and covered the cost of the hen and stag.

According to many on here, not at all.

We’re getting married abroad, in a v close European country on a long weekend to avoid people taking leave. Flights are around 50-60 per person, airports are near to people and we are providing transport at the other end. We are also paying for 2x night accommodation and all the alcohol. Kids all invited, plus ones where people won’t know many people etc.

But we will still be seen to be massively inconveniencing people

@CaseStudyResearch Actually that sounds really good, yes it will be a bit inconvenient but all weddings are to some extent.

Things I’ve seen are weddings that are 6 hours from where most of the guests live and they’re no kids or being expected to spend £1,000 and a weeks annual leave on a stag night or a marquee in the middle of a field with portaloos (it was raining )

Thanks Pink, we’ve been pretty lucky that almost all of our friends are dual income, good jobs, no kids and love a piss up so it should be a decent turn out. DP’s family are all abroad so would have been travelling anyway, so it’s just been a couple of the awkward relatives on my side.

We’ve been to plenty of the £200 a night only one hotel and 4 canapés between 8 type weddings, so tried to make it as “easy” as possible for people, whilst still doing what worked for us.

I didnt have kids at my wedding, but beyond that we tried quite hard. Sat people with people they knew, provided quite a lot of booze, paid for BM dresses & accomodation, had very few official pics to avoid people waiting round and was in a location with excellent transport links.

Happy with all our choices but I do wish I had got more photos!

The wedding ceremony was absolutely for us, the rest was all done with guests at the heart of it (including the bridal parties, with us covering the cost of all their outfits etc.).

The whole thing was somewhere easy to get to and with lots of cheap accommodation nearby for the non-locals. Everyone got a full day invite apart from some parents friends, and they all live within walking distance of the venue.

The majority of the budget went on the 3 things that really impact guests; food, drink and music. We had more food than we actually needed just in case (nothing worse than being hungry at a wedding!), a free bar from start to finish, an amazing band that played crowd pleasers then a dj that took requests. It was super chilled and people still talk about how much they loved the day because it was great fun for everyone, not just us,