Need to get the small details in so this could be a little lengthy..
A few months ago on a weekend away with my bf he takes a call from one of his exes, he's on good terms with all his exes and this doesn't bother me at all however I later found out that rather than an 'ex' this is a girl he slept with when she was his teenage babysitter fifteen years ago.
He's vague about what age she was then(15/16/17?) but certainly 17 was the maximum, he was in his mid forties(single at the time)..
I was appalled and considered honestly ending things with him, we had a long talk about it and I explained how I felt and how inappropriate I thought it was that she was still calling him(she's now married with kids) he told me he understood and felt bad and that he would cut contact with her.
Fast forward to last night and his phone rings he goes into the office, I'm half asleep on the sofa but go into the office to get my glasses and hes on Skype with some girl...'oh this is my friend xxxxx' I say hi and go back to the other room..he arrives a while later and tells me 'oh thats xxxxx the babysitter'...I'm obviously pissed off and a bit what the hell I thought we had this conversation, why is she skyping you at 11 o clock at night? Why are you answering? Why did you tell me you understood it wasn't cool and you were cutting contact but clearly you didn't listen to a word I said?
His idea is that there is nothing between them and they just say hi every so often...which I think is incredibly naive at best...you dont skype another guy at almost midnight when your husband is out of the house and doesn't know, especially in that situation? Or am I being OTT?
I'm so upset apart from this I feel we have a great relationship and he's very loving and kind..I just really am dissappointed and lost a lot of faith when I realised that when I was sincerely explaining my feelings the first time and thought he was sincerely listening it was basically going in one ear and out the other.
It's the morning after and he wants me to 'cheer up' and 'doesn't want to argue' but I just feel grim. I'm not a jealous person and like I said he's friends with all his exes and sees them regularly and there's no problem..this just feels wrong and I'm being made to feel like the controlling girlfriend 'I'll tell her my girlfriend doesn't want us to talk anymore'...argh.