OP, wise up.
And realign the way you think or you're going to end up wondering how you ended up unhappy in your partnership/marriage.
'Help out'? What do you mean by that? It's his house too, yes? You both work, yes? So basically, already, the default for your relationship is that this man has bagged himself a domestic servant, who takes responsibility for doing the jobs involved in running the home he lives in too.
To get him to even contribute slightly, even pick up the things he is directly responsible for dropping/messing, you have to cause an atmosphere.
He's a dud, OP. He isn't a keeper. Good, quality, intelligent, non-sexist, KEEPER men don't act like this. They've usually lived alone and are well aware that adults are responsible for their own shit, and living with a partner means sharing the load, not passing it to the domestic servant.
And that's without the utter disregard he's shown for you with the noise and stuff... nope. 'Try to change'? Have a think about that. Completely unprompted, naturally, he should want to care that you get good sleep because he is a loving man who loves you. And he doesn't. You ask him to do things that show he cares and not to make your life actively more difficult, and his response is basically fuck you. Only when the riot act appears to have been slightly read does he say he'll try and change (ie when it looks, vaguely, like he might end up out on his ear and having to pick up his own pants, in other words).
He doesn't love you, he's a selfish prick.
He would never be able to get me to part with the horse though, I'd dump him the moment he suggested it
People in these kind of relationships ALWAYS do this - make pages of excuses for shit partners, then end on a fierce flourish, just to show how in control of it all they are. Partner cheats - 'Oh but he knows if he so much as puts a lock on that phone again he is OUT, no discussion!' yeah right. Partner is violent - 'He knows that if he so much as looks at me funny, I'll be straight on to the police this time' -these are the saddest of all. Anyway. It's not about him saying 'I want you to get rid of your horse' and you saying no. It's about shackling yourself to a man who actually does not love and support you, but is a selfish prick who drains you. The end result of that is that you gradually find you have less time, less money, less energy, to be the happy, positive person with their own life and interests that you once were. You look in the mirror in 20 years and wonder who the fuck is looking back at you. By contrast, choosing a good, loyal, LOVING partner does the opposite. Builds you up. Helps you achieve. Supports you.
That's why you started this post - because you're knackered and you are having your life 'made difficult'. And it's because you've chosen to be with a selfish prick- that is the complete, total answer.
So give him time to change if you want but he probably will not, because people generally are who they are. But don't give him much time to show this, and don't give any more chances.