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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about other dogs

221 replies

Anewhope · 26/04/2018 11:11

Every day we go on a walk to some nearby fields. My dog is a small spaniel and is obsessed with her ball. If another dog comes over she doesn't even glance at them, all she's bothered about is us and the ball.

Every day she gets mobbed by other, (usually bigger) dogs. It's not too bad if there's just one of them because she generally runs off and the owner can shout them back but recently there have been groups of 3 or 4 big dogs that come bounding over to us, so the owner isn't close enough to stop them. It happens every time, different owners and dogs.

My dog tries to get away, she isn't interested. But they end up all crowding around and jumping all over her. It's awful. She gets stressed and barks if there isn't any space for her to get away and I worry they might hurt her. I don't know how to stop it, I imagine it would be worse if my dog was on her lead cause she couldn't even get away.

Any advice? Would you say anything? Or do I just suck it up and let it go? Or change dog walk location? It's perfect for us other than that, she's a spaniel so needs that free, off lead time really.

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 27/04/2018 08:24

I would holler "no! Get DOWN" at them (in a deep growly voice if that makes sense!)and interpose yourself between them - even if it doesn't work, it should be a clear enough cue for their owners to remove the rough dogs.

ThymeLord · 27/04/2018 08:26

Alpha status and pack theory have been thoroughly debunked. Dogs know you aren't a dog. Putting yourself between them, in situation that has the potential to escalate, will only result in you getting hurt. You won't look silly in trying to protect your dog, and effectively creating a block, but it won't give you 'alpha' status and change the dogs behaviour or intentions.

Merrykegs · 27/04/2018 08:28

Ah sorry. Got completely confused between posters. Feel free to ignore everything I said.

FairfaxAikman · 27/04/2018 08:39

While I agree with Thyme that Alpha and pack theory have been debunked (actually by the same scientist who came up with it in the first place, Dr Davod Mech (What ever happened to the term Alpha dog?- 2009)) providing the dog is no threat, getting in between is exactly what I do @Anewhope.

I've got a reasonable grasp of canine body language because DDog is so antisocial. If the dog is very obviously friendly and just wanting to play, I intercept it and make a fuss off it.
It's actually turned out to be a strategy that owners appreciate- especially those with stigmatised breeds like staffies - it gives me time to explain why I did it, while showing them I know their "friendly" dog isn't a threat. At the same time DDog can move away, preventing her from trigger stacking until she reaches threshold.

FairfaxAikman · 27/04/2018 08:39
  • David Mech!
ThymeLord · 27/04/2018 08:45

pigsDOfly I agree, so many people have no idea about the 'yellow dog' scheme. I don't think it gets enough publicity, I do my best to share it on social media to try and get it out there but it really hasn't took off, IMO. My old boy could never get over his nervousness because for every step forward we took (in his training), we'd take another five steps back every time he was accosted by off-lead "he's just friendly" dogs.

ThymeLord · 27/04/2018 08:46

I agree Fairfax, I would (and have) stood between mine and other dogs but only in an attempt to shield him with my substantial body.

Ucantarguewistupid · 27/04/2018 08:58

No. You should not put her on a lead and it's easy to tell the kind of dog owner such advisors are.

Dogs should be under control at all times. So owners should always be within intervention distance if need be.

It is not correct to assume if a dog is off lead it is ok to approach. Some dogs are fine off lead and will ignore dogs, maybe even share the ball, but on lead are unfriendly. No those kind of dogs should not be muzzled so that some idiot who can't be bothered with basic manners or to control their dog can come and sniff your dog or jump over it.

On or off lead, people should ask if ok for their dog to approach - basic manners.

Why should dogs who are well behaved off lead have to be on lead because others cannot control their dogs? Ask first. Control your dog. Always be within recall distance and if your dogs recall is non existent- put them on a lead.

OP you are right to be annoyed. Maybe have a word with the dog warden.

My dog is friendly people - there is always a first time so always be ready to get your dog back.

And look after your dog - letting them bound over a dog you don't know could have serious repercussions for your dog and it will be your fault as you failed first to check it was ok and second were out of range to intervene. Can you recall your dog reliably and will they obey commands without fail? If yours doesn't but the pissed off dog can then it will be easy to prove whose dog was out of control. Dogs are dogs they have a limited range to say get the fuck off me. Once they've nicely told the other dog to fuck off then their is only one other option if idiot human owner of rude dog is not about.....

tabulahrasa · 27/04/2018 09:00

“it's the same as having a quiet drink in a pub with your dh and an idiot comes over, sits down and starts prattling on.“

It’s not though... it’s the equivalent of having a quiet drink and someone coming running over, hugging you and then tickling you.

Anewhope · 27/04/2018 10:53

Interesting about the alpha thing being debunked. I've been deep in the caesars way website reading all about dog behaviours. It's fascinating. Im also on a bit of a mission to try and stop my dog being so jumpy. Whenever we have people visit our house she jumps up to greet them and lick them and I really need to put a stop to it. She's so soppy and always wants a fuss but I know a lot of people and Especially children don't like it and shouldn't have to. She does settle down after a few minutes but still, I need to work on it. Especially since DD is starting school soon, I don't want to have to shut the dog away when she has friends over.

OP posts:
ThymeLord · 27/04/2018 10:56

I don't want to sound like a preachy arsehole but I wouldn't take any advice from Cesar Milan. I know that he has slowly started to move towards slightly more positive ways of training dogs but honestly, his track record is appalling. The man uses outdated and frankly cruel methods of training dogs. There are much better resources out there than Cesar.

Anewhope · 27/04/2018 10:59

Not preachy at all, I'm totally open to different ideas and opinions on training. I just find reading all the different theories interesting.

OP posts:
FairfaxAikman · 27/04/2018 11:03

@Anewhope avoid Cesar Milan. The guy knows as much about dogs as Donald Trump does about tact and diplomacy.

Victoria Stillwell is a better resource run along lines of the most up to date research into canine psychology and behaviour.

The Association of Pet Behaviour Councillors also has an article worth reading called Why Won't Dominance Die? about why people like Milan can perpetuate outdated ideas.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 27/04/2018 11:05

I have to agree with @ThymeLord - Caesar Milan is now considered to be outdated. Positive reinforcement is much more effective.

Bottom line with training - do you want your dog to obey because it wants to, or because it's scared of the consequences if it doesn't?

mustbemad17 · 27/04/2018 11:19

Agree massively, avoid CM at all costs unless you want a ticking timebomb on your hands. Abusive arsehole...and I say that as somebody who used to love him. His methods when you look deeper into it are disgusting & work, imo, along the lines of an electric collar; they suppress a behaviour rather than dealing with it. Dangerous

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 27/04/2018 11:31

Use the CARE method. It's having a huge impact on my dog - as is primula cheese...

Anewhope · 27/04/2018 12:14

Ah Ok. The CM info is much appreciated, thanks guys! Care method I will look into.

OP posts:
follygirl · 27/04/2018 13:12

I've got a rescue who although the size of a cocker only weighs 9 kilos (he's all legs). He's great with other dogs and likes playing with dogs but unsurprisingly he doesn't like being knocked over by big dogs who typically weigh 3-4 times more than him.

When I intervene as I can see from my dog's body language that he is fearful, I always get the comment 'it's okay my dog won't bite' or 'he's only being friendly'. I'm not being overly precious of my dog I'm just looking after him.

I use the analogy of an adult rugby tackling a child and then being surprised if the child is upset or frightened!

UpstartCrow · 27/04/2018 13:17

@Anewhope She could be not interested in hysterical over the top dogs (cant say I blame her) and worried they are after her ball.

Try standing in between her and them, it will may her more confidence that you will back her up. See how she reacts.
You could also teach her to give you the ball to guard it for her, and take 2 or 3 balls so she feels the ball is not a precious resource she needs to guard.

Anewhope · 27/04/2018 13:19

I actually do always pick the ball up when I see another dog nearby, it gives me much more control over my dog because she doesn't take her eyes off me if I'm holding it. Will definitely start standing between her and other dogs though.

OP posts:
AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 27/04/2018 13:20

The CARE method is meant to be good. I've never managed to implement it properly because of the requirements to avoid the relevant trigger for a period of time and keep your dog under threshold. As my dog.'s trigger is motorbikes, we wouldn't be able to leave the front door as takeaway delivery mopeds are constantly zipping up and down our road.

However, a modified (ie I made it up) version of CARE is having a very positive impact on his ability to cope with motorbikes.

The Reactive Dogs (UK) Facebook group is a good place to start - for finding out about the method, for advice, and for a way to help you remember that other people have much worse dogs and keep your own in perspective!

pigsDOfly · 27/04/2018 13:32

Avocados I got my dog to stop lunging at motorbikes by simply getting her attention on me every time a motorbike was anywhere nearby, and treating when she looked at me.

Took some time but she doesn't lunge at them at all now.

Having said that she does look at me for reassurance if she's uncertain of anything so maybe it's just a case that she places a high value on my opinion Grin and so was willing to accept that sort of training more easily than some other dogs might.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 27/04/2018 13:45

@pigsdofly That's not a million miles away from what I'm doing. I've made a tactical decision to accept lunging so long as he's not barking and snapping - we'll deal with the lunging later.

In the meantime - lots of praise while he's just looking / lunging. Any noise and the praise stops. If he lets the motorbike pass without noise he gets a high value treat eg a squeeze of liver pate.

He's now able to cope with motorbikes that pass quickly - even when there are several in rapid succession, usually. A motorbike that stops at traffic lights near us is still too much but we're working on it.

Though his tendencies may have come in handy when I found someone on a motorbike in the local park which doesn't even allow regular bikes. I might have had a go at him, and DDog (on lead, thankfully) joined in. He looked a bit bewildered Grin

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 27/04/2018 14:21

I second reactive dogs (uk) they're a great support. With CARE because her trigger is dogs I sat at the end of my drive and waited for dogs to pass then pumped treats into her/ninja moved to behind our wall to keep under threshold.

She's a work in progress love her because it only takes one dog and owner to undo it all

Praisebe · 27/04/2018 14:24

So keep your dog on a lead then Hmm dog off lead to other dogs and their owners means their ok to play with eachother. So keep yours on a lead and teach her to sit at your side while the dogs move on its not rocket science and you don't own the place

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