To never buy snacks/squash/sweets etc again

[Fiera]

Every single time there is somthing remotely snackly in the house it just gets taken and eaten. The large double concentrate bottles of squash gone within 24 hours, any kind of sugary cerial gone the same day they come through the door.
I dont like to use the word 'steal' but tonight its the only word i can use because my daughter actually STOLE my can of coke.
We never usually buy coke or Fizzy anything, nut it was my eldest sons birthday and all the children had a can as a very rare treat. My daughter actualli hid my can up her sleeve (after having drank hers earlier in the evening) and went and drank it in her bedroom.
Even my toddler daughters 'treats' like 'GoGo' biscuits and 'Goodies' puffs just disapear before she even knows theyre there.
We have a full fruit bowl, two actually, every day and even they get emptied. They have hot meals every day so theyre not 'hungry' just greedy.
I just dont understand why they do it and im seriously considering just not buying again.
My toddler will happily drink water (theres hardly ever any squash left for her anyway)

Food is an emotive issue. We all want our kids to grow up with a healthy and balanced attitude to food. We want them to eat healthily and to guide them, but not ban unhealthy foods so they are something to seek after and binge on. Some kind of balance in providing treats amongst an otherwise healthy diet seems necessary. And yes, children and teenagers are growing and need to eat regularly and not be starved or denied food,mbut this is not the same as having free access at any time to anything within the house.

Children live within families and families have to plan their meals - parents need to know the stuff in the fridge which will be the basis of a main meal, will be there when they look to start cooking, and that someone hasn't just snaffled it. When there are 4 or 5 people in a house, people need to know that a popular food or treat is there for everyone and it's not okay to scoff the lot or someone else's share - is about learning to live as part of a community and not just selfishly.

The stealing if the can of coke and hiding it and drinking it alone was basically theft. The girl knew it was wrong as she hid it and drank it alone - she knew she had already had her own can and was taking someone else's.....and she didn't care. It's the attitude that's the problem - it might be about food here, but it could be replicated in other things and other ignoring if instructions from her Mum.

I think clear rules and boundaries need to be laid down, and where children or teenagers won't stick to them, clear consequences spelled out and then carried out . Children or teenagers who seem to lack self control or perhaps instead, who are just unwilling to go along with household rules which work for the good of everyone, need to learn there are consequences of their behaviour and some kind of punishment is probably the only way, if they are in a pattern of defiance like this.

Most kids wouldn't do this - their taking of stuff has stopped in early childhood and most kids realise that the luxury food items need sharing and that personal property is personal property.....but some don't seem to realise these things most learn early. Question - is this the only area they are disobedient or are there other areas too? What are parents doing about it?

babyroobs cereal was my sons favourite go to snack when he was a teen, sometimes as much as four bowls a day, he's over 6ft, waist size 28/30 has no physical health problems at all and perfect teeth. Once he's stopped growing bout 19 or 20 he didn't eat as much he saw food as fuel :) point being don't let people in here tell you, your son will turn out fat and unhealthy, it's not a given . tomravenscroft you sound eh pleasant ... Otherwise known as huge JC.

“My ds3 could eat a whole pack of biscuits in a day and a whole packet or cereal, the annoying thing is he is as skinny as anything

Why do you let him though? Thats the real question.”

Why not let him tawney ?! You think (bearing in mind he’s a total stranger on the Internet) he might become overweight in his future?

I agree it's a two issue thing. Having a healthy attitude to food and respect for rules.

When I was a child my mum insisted on healthy food. No treats in the house. We could have 1 packet of crisps a week after swimming. Chocolate bars only on holiday - as in we'd be able to have a penguin type bar with our lunch instead of homemade granola flapjack.

I didn't have a healthy relationship with food. I stole money from my mums purse to buy sweets after school. Sweets, crisps, cakes were like a forbidden fruit. They weren't 'food' in my mind, I just wanted it.

It is about moderation. It is about education of WHY its not good to have 3 packets of crisps. Its compromise as well though.

With my son ideally he wouldn't eat the crisps, chocolates etc. But I compromise. Even though only 4 I give him choices. E.g for pudding I might let him choose a bowl full of strawberris or mango, or a mini donut. He sees he gets far more of the fruit (which he likes) than the donut.

Make compromises that would work better for you. But different ' healthy crisps' or plain popcorn instead. Or stop buying the crisps. Allow them to eat plain rice cakes or home popped popcorn as a snack, but not crisps?

But it is also discipline. If they do they're not supposed then it should be disciplined. Just as if DS 'stole' a strawberry out of someone else's a bowl that'd be naughty and would be disciplined for it. He's not allowed to help himself to snacks . If he did it'd be disciplined. Buy I'm not over strict, so if he asks and it's not 20mins till dinner or something then I'd probably let him have a little something. But 3 packs of crisps a day, half a box Cereal etc no.

Fiera I feel like I need to weigh in on this because although my kids don't do what your kids do, I do parent how you do, we have coke in the house though, for vodka and rum etc, but they don't just take it, I have an 18 and 19 year old, then 10,6&5, I have a 'snack drawer' that still has Easter eggs in it, how ever long we are after Easter, I go through a box of crisps probably every ten days, same with 2 bottles of dilute, but I mix it and fridge it in 2l bottles so they can get it, after they've asked, I'm not a food nazi, and never have been, but because they're are 7 of us, I meal plan, weeks in advance, so usually everything is an ingredient. The big two take lunch everyday, and the little three get school dinner, but take fruit and a cereal bar, for a snack, as well as having a hot breakfast most mornings while it's cold!

Why not let him tawney ?! You think (bearing in mind he’s a total stranger on the Internet) he might become overweight in his future?

Why not let a three year old eat a whole packet of biscuits?
Do you know anything about health and nutrition?
Obviously not.

tomravenscroft you sound eh pleasant ... Otherwise known as huge JC.

Do what now?

Well you’re rude. Depends is he’s 3 years old or the 3rd DS, which is how I read it

www.childfeedingguide.co.uk/

A link to great evidence based advice about child eating.

Also, me too! All kids are different. I wouldn’t pay too much attention to any criticism. In my experience eating, manners, etc. is a real trigger/passionate subject for many people.

Good luck x

Why not let him tawney ?! You think (bearing in mind he’s a total stranger on the Internet) he might become overweight in his future?

If I really have to tell you why not to let your children eat an entire pack of biscuits in one go, there is no hope for you at all. Being overweight will be the least of your kids future problems.

tomravenscroft

Well aren't you a sarcastic arsehole !!!

I think if you'd been my parent I would have put myself up for adoption.

It's not about the rules or how strict you seem. It's the fact there's no kindness or humility and when challenged you head for arrogant alley via pompous point.

I will probably get banned for calling you an arsehole, but you're snide comment is seen as ok. It's not the first time either, you're coming across like a sanctimonious twat. I'd rather someone was blatantly rude to me than snide.

Mumsnet it's been a pleasure. Too many toms on this site for me and the blatant racism dressed up as something else, that keeps cropping up is disgusting.

marge, I'm not really following your point(s), I'm afraid.

I doubt you'd get banned for saying arsehole, so do crack on.

Buh bye.

I've only read the first page of this and most of you are being awful to Fiera for some reason, so i just thought I'd say that I almost never buy coke either. My kids also steal and all of the snacks/crisps/biscuits etc that come in to the house. They are fed three times a day, proper home cooked meals. There is always fruit, there is always cheese, bread, peanut butter...I'm a baker so there is also healthy protein bars and less healthy cakes and muffins made by me (and them to be fair). But non of this stops their feral attitude towards highly processed and unhealthy food. I'm sick of it too and have also made the decision to stop buying those things. I don't even actually buy cordial at all....we buy fruit juice and they're expected to dilute it. So @Fiera you are definitely not on your own and your kids like mine are clearly a bunch of feral wolves! Don't beat yourself up, i'm sure you're feeding them perfectly well :)