To wonder why some people on here go straight for the jugular?

[Muse84]

I'm just really taken aback by some comments to a variety of threads. Comments that come in thick and fast and usually quite early on/without a long lead up or any clear justification

Two examples of many:
You are a shit person
Why don't you just shut the fuck up

And I don't mean trolls or in reaction to terrible things people have said.

Everyone is allowed their opinions, I think MN is fantastic and a huge source of support. But when some posters disagree, they talk in a way I can't imagine they ever would to another persons face. I genuinely find some responses quite shocking

Like others I am often astounded by the sheer vitriol and nastiness of some of the responses on MN.

I always go by the maxim if I wouldn't say it to someone in real life, then I don't put it down in print.

I can sort of understand it when the OP's asking why her long-term partner of three months still has to pay maintenance to his psycho ex for their three children under four or whatever. It's the totally innocuous ones where the OP still gets ripped to shreds I find bizarre. I was on one yesterday in employment where really no one with a single ounce of sense could have perceived that the OP was in the wrong. Within the first few comments she'd had "you sound delightful", "grow up" and "vile".

Also can't abide the people who totally derail threads claiming that the phrase 'older woman' is exactly the same as all racial slurs.

Because it's the internet.

Anyone can say anything from the safety of an anonymous keyboard. AIBU is very mild compared to parts of Reddit or dark places like 4chan.

Doesn't make it ok, but you can bet that most people who do it wouldn't say boo to the proverbial goose or even a duck IRL!

I've noticed this lately, it seems to be one person will make a nasty comment and that sets the bar then, as to who can make the funniest or wittiest comment.

I think there’s a huge portion of mumsnetters who use the platform to anonymously air their suppressed angry bitter emotions. I think it’s cathartic for them.

IRL they’re probably the meekest, most unconfident people. But online, they can be whoever they like.

LOL at derailing the thread about derailing

Also can't abide the people who totally derail threads claiming that the phrase 'older woman' is exactly the same as all racial slurs.

I just called the OP, who videotaped her new boyfriend’s son, a proper wicked step-mum. I think she was a troll.

Because they can ! Because they are cunts

All lairy on here cos they can’t express their anger in RL

Because some people in real life are nasty and mean - so some people on MN are nasty and mean. They might be a bit more brazen under cover of anonymity but they're still a minority of the people on here. Oh, and AIBU does seem to attract them so post elsewhere if you are sensitive to it!

There’s probably a variety of reasons:

I think some people do actually talk to others like that in real life.

Some people are probably just not very nice.

Sometimes they probably think that the poster needs a bit of straight talking.

Also text on screen isn’t as nuanced as it sounds in your head. You can write something that would sound perfectly reasonable in person with the advantages of tone and body language which ends up causing offence or being misinterpreted on screen. It’s easily done.

yes BIWI points to the "telling it like it is" schtick, rather than " offering my bitter and unhappy/unpleasant twist on things" which it really is.
And as thus must be decorated with lots of gratuitous use of f and c words, as it to underline the point.

I kind of like the bitter blunt posters sometimes .

But the angry, sweary people, the personal attackers, it often upsets me tbh, and I stay away from MN for days and weeks. Especially on AIBU, but even these days Relationships. The use of the F or C word (in a name or a post see above) I just think ... the nasty little cowardly twats, they wouldn't do it in real life.

Still, onward and upwards.

But tbh I wonder why anyone but a masochist would do an originating thread on here ... the insults, abuse from morons is depressing. I do think whoever said alot of people on MN are thick not very intelligent has a strong / good point.

tooreal you should never go to Scotland

It's a fascinating place but not one where I'd ever look for support that's for sure

^ This.

Though I've done it in the past. Where do you go when there's no-one and you need advice / help / another view.

Mostly far worse than no help/advice at all. There's no point in responding as they're satanic androids who feel nothing, in fact its just grist for their mill! MNHQ are worse than useless in these situations.

Nearly broke me at the time. Regret posting myself and feel sad for all those women I've seen metaphorically chewed up and spat at for no reason whatsoever.

Some posters have real problems in their lives, and then someone comes along and complains their MIL put their child in the wrong dress/top and are distressed by it, and you have to think - get real.

Sadly some people like being mean... Sad that they have kids and are probably like that to them too :(

Sometimes I will read a post from a genuine person looking for help..and I anticipate from what she has said in her op that she will be jumped on and everything turned round to be her fault... She then goes off feeling worse!

They are missing something in their lives and take out their anger on anonymous people online. I bet it's the people you'd least expect.

There are a few on here who have spent years cultivating a ‘direct no nonsense’ online persona and would try and have us believe that is how they talk and behave in real life too.

Quite. And these people are never wrong about anything, ever.

I’m quite new to MN and have been completely shocked at some of the comments, swearing so much and the use of the c* word is prolific, a particularly horrible word. My overwhelming shock was the total lack of any sisterhood and the compete willingness ro attack people in the most malicious way with such harsh and judgemental comments, totally agree with you OP

There are some incredibly nasty posters on here alright. Not just the sweary ones, but the ones who make nasty little spiteful comments dressed up as 'helpful advice', or who deliberately twist something the OP said, or who latch onto one small thing in the opening post and keep on about it like a dog with a bone.

But there are some posters who I think are genuinely not very bright; the ones who get hold of the wrong end of the stick and stubbornly stick to their interpretation no matter how often the OP tries to clarify; or who are incapable of debate and just keep re-iterating their view no matter how many times its challenged without adding or explaining further; or who just pile in behind someone being nasty without actually thinking it through.

I do often read through a post and think 'my God, these people actually have children!!!'

tooreal agree with every word....some really lovely people on MN but some pretty vile, nasty ones too, I’m sure they know who they are xxxx