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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sick baby-childcare

66 replies

Fishoutofbowl · 24/04/2018 23:10

Have any of you had a student doing before/after school childcare for you if you work odd hours? Would you expect them to work additional hours if your child was sick? Would you pay extra for this?

OP posts:

TittyGolightly · 25/04/2018 08:47

1 week’s notice then.

By the way, being paid in cash doesn’t absolve either of you of your responsibilities re tax and NI. If you are an employee and have been there more than 3 months, you should have been auto-enrolled into a pension scheme. You’ve potentially missed out on NI towards your state pension and benefits like JSA and maternity allowance.

dramalamma · 25/04/2018 08:55

No you shouldn’t have taken the child to nursery and then called when turned away - he should never have put you or the child in that situation (and I’d bet you’d have had to rearrange your day anyhow when he refused to leave work!) what you should have done (hindsight being a wonderful thing!) is said that it was a shame you couldn’t rearrange and that you also wouldn’t be needed to do the nursery run as there is no way they’d take the baby in that state and not taken on the responsibility for the baby.
I’m in the employers situation - it’s why I hire a nanny! And if he has a big important job he can afford it. I don’t have a well paid job and I manage because it’s a priority to make sure the kids are looked after. He obviously forgot to read that page in the parenting manual.
Yadnbu and he was bvu but you need to stand up for yourself and call him out on his behaviour and not allow yourself to be bullied..... or quit - or both!

pitterpatterrain · 25/04/2018 09:01

They are completely taking the piss and tight with money despite apparently having “important jobs”

Not your circus re the sick child - they are the parents, their problem

Agree with PP you can drop them in a week or two using any of the language above

UnicornRainbowColours · 25/04/2018 09:09

@Fishoutifbowl yes I am, sorry I think I am misunderstanding you. Are you saying that they ask you to come extra when th child is sick at no extra cost? Because then no that isn’t on.

Totallytopsecret · 25/04/2018 09:19

You are worth so much more than this. Tell them you can work until the end of the week then that's it.
(If your situations were reversed they probably wouldn't give you this courtesy)
There are great families to work for and awful ones, this isn't a great one.

Do Not Stay For the Children.
All children you nanny for are amazing and lovely (in their own ways!) but if that was why you looked after them they wouldn't need to pay you!

You will find another family (if that's what you want) who will treat you properly. (I said I would NEVER nanny again after my first terrible family, then I found the perfect, lovely family I work for now!)

Willow2017 · 25/04/2018 09:26

You should have refused to go and told him you had your day planned. His baby his responsibility not yours.

Nursery would have refused to take the child if he had rocked up with a sick baby. He would have had no choice but to look after his own child.

They do not respect you at all. All the lateness and expecting you to turn up at a moment's notice etc is taking advantage of your good nature. They have no reason to change as you are allowing it.

Give them a weeks notice. Let them get a full time nanny and see how she reacts to thier antics and pay expectations!

Twickerhun · 25/04/2018 09:45

I think you have to say that as if x date (give them a week or two) you will no longer be available because the arrangement is no longer working for you and your priority has to be uni.

Good luck and stay strong :) he is taking the piss

Claire90ftm · 25/04/2018 09:51

You are very underappreciated there. I wouldn't work there anymore, you deserve better. They will soon realise how impossible it is to find someone like you who is willing to put up with so much. They don't see how lucky they are and they need to be made aware.

Ellendegeneres · 25/04/2018 10:56

Um wait- haven’t you come down with the vomiting bug their dc has? And hasn’t this made you reassess the fairness and pressure being laid upon you, coupled with the dads lack of respect to your own priorities and plans in time that is not agreed to be worked and therefore you are quitting as of now, but expect x to be paid on x day as hours worked?

You owe them nothing. Absolutely zilch. He doesn’t give a shit about you, and if he thought he could you’d be replaced in an instant for a cheaper alternative with no notice. I mean, he has no contract with you, he owes you nothing right? It’s how he treats you.

Quit today. Send an email stating above, that you’re ill due to his refusal to care for his own child and therefore any goodwill you might have extended has gone. Wish them well in finding a replacement.

Original poster

Fishoutofbowl · 25/04/2018 18:42

Thanks everyone for advice, I really needed to be told I wasn't being over sensitive/ridiculous . I have sent a message, giving a weeks notice. No response, but I feel better!!

OP posts:

YimminiYoudar · 25/04/2018 19:19

Well done. Good luck with getting a new job.

Rachie1986 · 25/04/2018 19:24

Good for you! Sounds like they are not being fair

NurseP · 25/04/2018 19:28

Good for you! An Important job is not license to behave like an arse!

AnathemaPulsifer · 25/04/2018 19:48

Good call! What a bloody cheek leaving you will a baby too sick to be taken to nursery when you had to go to uni.

trojanpony · 28/04/2018 16:34

Good for you! Have they responded?

VimFuego101 · 28/04/2018 16:40

Well done. I can see they would have taken the piss if you hadn't given them a firm date to leave.

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