IVF failure and intuition?

[ohbigdaddio]

I found out a few days ago my 2nd embryo transfer has failed.

DH and I didn't feel we wanted children until I was 37 and I distinctly remember when DH and I were discussing it that I said "knowing my luck we'll decide to have kids and then we won't be able to, and I'll be really upset."

We began TTC. After 6 months or so I began to get the feeling I just wouldn't get pregnant and after 18 months of TTC I didn't once see a BFP.

We started tests and were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. IVF followed last September which resulted in a BFN. After this a horrible 6 month wait as I had to wait for an operation to remove a fibroid and then in February this year we began a medicated frozen cycle. Over 8 weeks of hope and determination later and again a BFN. I am devastated but had thoughts after the embryo transfer that this attempt probably won't work either. (I also had some happy thoughts about how amazing it would be if it worked so I'm not being entirely pessimistic but in general I wouldn't let myself think too positively.)

I'm not trying to be negative but I feel like I have a feeling that I'm just not going to ever get pregnant. I look at pregnant women and wonder why can't my body do that? I am 39 and we have 1 frozen embryo left. We are too swept up in our grief to decide what to do next but I am already thinking 'I bet this one won't work either.' It's just a feeling I get and I've had it all along. I'm not sure if I am being silly or if I have a deep intuition about my body.

Could I be right? Has anyone else felt like this but been proven wrong?

Please be gentle (and, please, no 'have you thought of adopting?' comments!) x

I know what you mean about the intuition thing. I was convinced it wouldn’t happen for us- it was the weirdest feeling that I was just out of this special loop, that other people were able to do it effortlessly and I just KNEW somehow deep in my bones that just wasn’t going to happen for us. It did though, and I know that doesn’t help knowing it did for someone else- but all I’m saying is I think that feeling is really normal- maybe a protective thing like others have said, and I wouldn’t worry about that specifically, on top of everything else.

I realise this is an old post but stumbled across it whilst going through a hard time with pregnancy loss myself. hope you are doing well OP and I hope things turned out well for you whatever way that looks like. It would be lovely to hear how you are doing if you feel up for sharing x

I have a similar story to yours. After the first IVF cycle I developed a liver tumour from all the chemicals. Had a liver operation, recovered well.
We had 3 embryos and sadly the first two didn’t take.
We took some time to pause and recover physically/ mentally and gotten tot he point that we were both sure parenthood was not going to happen for us.
We decided to try the last transfer when I was 39 1/2 during Covid…
I read up so much on this topic and knew that a big part of a successful transfer was about being positive and as zen as possible.
I found it hard to be positive but here is what I did: daily 10 min guided meditation to help me be more positive, I reduced all the stress in my life as much as possible, took a different approach to my work that has always caused me stress.
I surrounded myself with positive friends and family members and avoided anyone negative.
You HAVE to reduce stress and look after yourself in general almost to the point of selfishness.
Your body can do amazing things if you have the right mindset.
All the things I did worked for me and the 3rd and last embryo took. I took Progesterone for 3 months to help me keep the pregnancy (as prescribed by the Doctor) and had a very healthy pregnancy much to my surprise.
I gave birth to our miracle baby a few
months into my 40’s and recovered well.
Anything is possible but you have to believe it and visualise it! It sounds cheesy but it worked for me.
Don’t rush into the last transfer, you need to get yourself prepared well first and right now you are still grieving your last loss.
Good luck, sending you love! 🌷