to think this was incredibly rude?

[KirbyKane]

At work this morning and have just told people I'm pregnant. I'm 12 weeks and have a slight (very slight) bump. I am showing fairly early and put this down to having a late miscarriage some time back where I had developed a significant bump. Nobody at work knows this as I don't feel it is anybody's business.

Everyone was very happy to hear I was pregnant apart from one woman who seemed indifferent, which is fine! I really don't mind. However it has come to light that she has been making comments about me sticking my stomach out and wearing tight clothes to make my 'fake bump' more noticeable.

I am livid! First of all I am not so pathetic that I would stick my belly out 24/7 to make myself look 'more pregnant' and the clothes I am wearing are the same ones I wore before I was pregnant, so if you can see my bump... then so what? I'm pregnant and proud of it!

Would you let this slide? Or would you confront? It's upset me very much and made me feel like I need to justify myself.

Part of me wishes that my colleague never told me what she said but I guess she was only trying to help.

I'm always wary of 'well meaning' colleagues who tell you that someone is talking about you behind your back. Unless she is a close friend, I always think it smacks of shit stirring. Just rise above it and congratulations. Hope you have an uneventful and boring pregnancy!

I'm putting it down to her being 16 and very naive! Not about to start an argument with or develop hard feelings against a 16 year old girl. She's very sweet usually.

I would just let it be known that it isn't my first pregnancy. I have always be pretty open about my miscarriages. It's bad enough to lose your baby in pregnancy, without having to pretend to the world at large that it never happened.

It sounds like your snippy colleague is making assumptions based on her own experience without any conception that others may have different experiences.

Best case scenario, she isn't trying to be deliberately hurtful, just lacks any understanding that there is a world outside her own lived experience.

BTW, with my 2nd pregnancy I had a bump at 8 weeks. Everyone is different.

She still should be had a word with. She isn't at school, she's entered the Adult world. Shitstirring in the workplace will get her very disliked.

I just deal with it by asking "does the person you spoke to know you'll be repeating what they said?".

I also think that in this SM generation, they have to learn that growing up means keeping your mouth shut and not needing to comment or react, on occasion.

I wouldn't take what she has said, as gospel.

All this will be irrelevant in seven months time, even in four months, when nearly all Women are showing.

Just listen to your MW when it comes to bump size, because the comments won't stop. I think the pregnancy comments prepare you for the baby/child ones, tbh. It is relentless.

Congratulations OP and enjoy your bump!

DS1 was born at 24 weeks and I barely had a bump....with DS2 I could see a faint bump at 8 weeks and by 12 weeks it was visible to others. Ignore her, what a silly woman!

Mate shouldn't have told you

However, I couldn't resist sticking a huge cushion up my top every time I walked past this woman. I'd probably throw in a few rubs of my weary back and some pseudo deep breathing bursts. Just for effect.

Enjoy

I think all the comments about rubbing her face in it are small-minded. It seems this woman doesn't have fertility issues if she already has five children, but as someone who might not be overly effusive about another woman's pregnancy news because of my own infertility, I would be very upset if I then had it deliberately paraded in front of me. You don't need to be proud or ostentatious about it - just get on with enjoying your pregnancy which isn't really anything to do with your colleagues, regardless of their reaction.

Congrats!
Go in tomorrow with a big cushion up your too and make a big effort to sit down and getting back up

Thanks for advice everyone, though I'm not about to start parading around with a cushion up my top....

What a bitch! Congratulations OP, wonderful news and I am sure you do have a baby bump - so love it and enjoy it and don't let this nasty woman (probably jealous of you in some way) spoil the happy time and your bump pride xx

Basta

I don’t think these suggestions are serious. Mine wasn’t anyway!

She asked me how far gone I was today and when I told her she just said 'hmm' and continued typing!! I give up!

What did you say to her when she hmmed? If you are ok sharing your miscarriages then if she comments bullshit about showing too early then i would call her on it.

I got so many 'are you pregnant' by non friends that in the end i told one, a repeat offendor 'no but i recently lost one'. He was mortified, he deserved to be. I wasnt the only one who had miscarried at work..

I’d have a good mind to tell the know-it-all too. She’d be mortified if she knew (at least she should be!) and it would definitely shut her up. You don’t have to go into details but just a “well this is my fourth pregnancy...” and leave her to work it out.

But I totally respect your wish not to op!

Erm....Twas tongue in cheek

Just noticed she's only 16

Wouldn't let it bother me in the slightest TBH

@2andcountingtodate I just put my head down and ignored her. I was infuriated but wasn't about to make a scene in the office. I just feel like I have much bigger things to worry about...

@FriendlyOcelot I'm not sure I'm comfortable sharing that. She'd probably accuse me of making that up too?

*! not ?

No, fair play op. And yes, she might. Congratulations by the way

Congratulations.
Once the baby is born and you take it in the office for the obligatory "look what I made" parade, say to the bitch "Not bad for a fake bump eh..."

Seriously, ignore the cow and just get on with things.

Thanks both

Yes its true you need to play officee polliitics but if she keeps it up i suggest you say something to her. Congrats on your baby

Congratulations - you are right everyone is different (I looked hardly pregnant at six months with my first, and was showing from very early with the second - first was a boy, second a girl if that means anything !!)

Ignore Ms Bitter and Horrible - she's the one with the problem not you. Enjoy your pregnancy

Let it slide. You don't know what's going on for her. I'm sorry about your miscarriage.

I've had losses and have been weird about pregnancy announcements- not like your colleague but I wonder what's going on for her. Just enjoy your pregnancy.

Thanks all! Off to work I go...