Toddlers are gross including mine! (light hearted... I think)

[Nicpem1982]

I've helped today at dds dance school and I was shocked at how grim the children were.

We had nose picking one, one of them handed me a bogey eugh

Pooh counting (one wouldn't leave the toilets until wed counted the individual bits of pooh)

One was cleaning the bottom of her shoe with her tongue

Chewed up biscuits wiped on me and each other

Food left everywhere grapes squashed into the chairs, papers thrown on the floor

Drinks tipped up

My dd was included in this and is a terrible nose picker so no special snow flake here

I've never noticed before who gross children are and have never had this level of grim with other groups I'm back at the school tomorrow volunteering and have adjusted my tools accordingly to include plenty of tissues, wipes and anti bac!

Are everyone else's kids gross?

Mine keeps smearing poo in her cot! Yesterday morning we had a turd on the carpet and poo smeared like caveman drawings , across the cot - not envy!

The children were 3-5

Had no inclination to tidy up after then selves or keep their areas tidy

All of them. One of mine ate sand at the beach and cried when I stopped her, then pooped sandy poo for a week.

Another (not mine) at nursery smeared all his bogeys on window and said ‘look!’. So proud of his artwork.

I've got 3 more sessions to chaperone and tips on what I can take with me to try and control it

Mine's just decided at 2.5 to have the "everything goes in the mouth" phase 18 months later than most

"EAT it!!!" she shouts, shoving a filthy coin or stone or stick or something equally gross into her mouth - and watching us craftily for a reaction.

She also finds farts hilarious and announces it loudly if she manages to produce one, followed by an admonition to herself to "use the toilet" (I can only assume nursery have taught her that, as I've tried and failed to get her to go with, "excuse me").

Toddlers are vile little beasts!

I watched my dd (aged about 3) sitting in a circle at playgroup, picked her nose, pulled out a huge bogey, showed the child sitting next to her, who nodded, said something, and ate it. (not envy!)
Me and the other child's mum didn't know whether to laugh or throw up.

Bananas - my DB did that when he was a toddler.

It turned his poo absolutely bright green - my DM was very until she remembered the sand guzzling. Why???!

Yesterday mine did a poo right in the middle of the sitting room floor, not 2 foot from the potty (toilet training). Shouted 'I've done a poo Daddy!' apparently delighted with himself. Not forthcoming on why he hadn't just sat on the potty! Luckily for me, I was out at the time so DP had to deal with it! The night before while I was reading his bedtime story, he offered me his finger and said 'Look mummy, a bogey! It's an ear bogey not a nose bogey. Nose bogeys taste nicer than ear bogeys so you can have this.' Thanks, son.

White I would have vomited

I have a recent thread about my DD pooing in the bath at night on purpose.

She didn't do that tonight. Tonight she ran away from DP when he tried to put her nappy on after a bath and pooed on her favourite book instead.

She had sweetcorn for tea last night.

Before we could reach her/the book she decided she wanted to eat sweetcorn again tonight

Geeky

Haha this made me laugh!
I had a conversation with my childless sister the other day, i was saying how when you become a parent you end up putting together sentences you never thought you would... for example...
Stop playing with your willy please
Fingers out your nose please
No i dont want to put my nose on your bum...even to smell your 'pump'
Please dont poke your brothers bum hole
Im sure the cat doesnt want to smell your poo
Yes, thank you, for telling me for the 4th time that my belly is bigger than daddies
Please stop trying to show the postman my boobies..
Bloody crack me up...Our vile, insensitive little hooman beans!

I'm not really sure why I started this thread but these are making me howl

To be honest I half expected to get flames for calling other peoples kids gross

My (kinda) step son wanted to eat my sons poo the other day because it looked like a chocolate ball in his nappy...
It was quickly wrapped and binned!
The thought had me gagging...

Love these posts! DD became a prude once she mastered the toilet but now she's in year 2 and most of her conversations at the moment are scatalogocial in nature. And neither she nor her little friends can pee / poo alone! They always want a friend there to share the experience. I'm telling myself it's a phase....

It always reminds me of a really old jasper carrot joke - how young kids are obsessed with poo, then get into pop music - "from poo to crap overnight!

Take a box of tissues and a vat of hand gel.

DS aged 2 stuck his finger under dm's nose saying 'smell that'. DM says 'that smells vile - where has it been?' DS replies 'up my bum........'

pastabest Omg she ate her own poo! I can’t

I thought my ds was bad when he went through a phase of kicking snails but he's got nothing on some of these

Licking snails!

Storm isnt that a hallucinogenic? hahaaa

Children are gross.... I work in a preschool and most days I come home in some form of bodily fluids or other crap. 😂

But best of all my dd2 as a toddler was poo obsessed.... she once cleaned my whole bathroom with a toilet brush covered in her own poo 😣

Technically she ate a piece of sweetcorn out of her poo rather than actual poo.... it had kind of crumbed away to the side.

Her slightly older cousin (on DPs side I hasten to add) has twice done something similar recently, so I'm thinking it's an unfortunate family trait.