AIBU to be pissed off people constantly asking if I'm pregnant

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

I'm getting really annoyed with people constantly asking if I'm pregnant or when I'm going to get pregnant me and my DP have been trying for a couple of months but nothing has happened yet but every little thing that I say or do has people running straight for the pregnant card and it's starting to annoy me if I was pregnant I would tell people but if I say nothing then chances are that I'm not. Why when people know that your trying to they suddenly take so much interest in your reproductive organs just leave me alone it's not going to happen over night and constantly asking won't make it happen any faster.

My sisters guessed that we were probably ttc so I got a lot of questions and I am naturally a sharer anyway, so it was the best way to approach it.

In the meantime, use here as a good outlet to discuss it and ask questions and share your frustrations. And try not to get obsessed if you can help it, use whatever methods work for you to keep yourself sane. I put a time limit on it to help me, i.e. we would try for four months and then if I wasn't pregnant at that stage, take a break for a couple months over the Christmas period, then try again in January. Having set periods in mind where I could go pretty crazy worked for me and luckily I got pregnant in the third month.

Thank you HolySchmoly talking on here tonight has helped me to destress a bit and made me realise that I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself I had complete lost sight of the bigger picture because I was just so focused on trying to have a baby and all this is suppose to be enjoyable not stressful like it is. It feels like we've been trying forever but like a pp pointed out its only been 2 cycles and it really feels like more than that. I might try doing the time frame then it gives me something to work towards and if it doesn't happen then we can take a break for a bit. I think I'm just getting to caught up in having a baby and just making things a lot harder on myself than they really need to be. I'm only 28 and this is the first time I've ever tried for a baby and people seem to make it look so easy and its really not.

OP, tbh I think you told people because you like the attention.

I remember you posting from before (I remember seeing the username and thinking it was apt for all of the drama you were posting) and frankly think you need to be doing something more productive with your life.

Wasn't it you who was rushing in to getting engaged around Christmas because you'd been with your partner a few months? Then I think you posted a few months ago that you and your new partner were ready for children because you were going to live with each other for two weeks?

I think to come on here and try create fake drama is ridiculous and you've been trying for two months and you consider yourself having problems?

Here have a

OP, looking at your previous thread, I think you should focus on getting your mental health back on track before planning a baby with this man you've known for a matter of months. You don't sound well enough to cope with the demands of a small baby if your anxiety means you can't work or leave the house alone. How on earth do you expect to manage a child?

Justalittleprick my mental health has nothing to do with it and for your information since that thread I'm now living with my boyfriend and my mental health is just fine I've been taken off the tablets and I'm doing just fine if my boyfriend or my family thought for one minute that I wasn't in a good place mentally to have a baby they would tell me and I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think I wasn't well enough to look after a baby. My GP, boyfriend and family know me a damn sight better than someone complete stranger on the internet. There are a lot of people out there with MH issues doesn't mean that we shoupdn' t have children.

Andromedia59 why are you bringing old threads in to it that have nothing to do with this one for your information me and him are now living together and we have decided that we are ready for children. Think what you like about me but your not living my life so here have your little back you need it more than I do.

As others have said, you've been trying no time at all so really do try not to worry. That said, I can imagine its really difficult not to become obsessed with TTC straight away if you have that type of personality.

On my first month of trying I was testing twice daily from 7DPO - totally crazy and ridiculous I know, and I wouldn't have dared tell anyone because its not normal behaviour! Good Luck OP.

If you've only been with your DP a few months, only the two of you will know if its the right thing to do. There is never a 'right' time as some couples are together 10 years then they split following the strain of a baby. Just saying, your relationship needs to be pretty solid to cope with a baby. Have you had any big arguments/disagreements yet and managed to overcome them? How you deal with (hopefully rare) fights is usually an indicator of how solid your relationship is.

I think you’re being given a bit of a hard time. A close friend told me her and her DP were going to start trying for a baby about 6 months ago, it didn’t seem weird she was telling me, I think she was just excited about the prospect of starting their family. I still wouldn’t think that then meant I could ask her at every opportunity for an update- I know how stressful TTC can be, so I ask her how she is etc and figure if she wanted to talk about it she would, but I wouldn’t dream of saying ‘so you pregnant yet then?’ Agree with other advice on here OP just tell them very bluntly that them continually asking is stressful, you’ll tell them when there’s anything to tell but otherwise please can they just not mention it. Good luck!

OP, you’ve said you “wished you were one of those people who can get pregnant easily but you’re not”. In all fairness, you’ve only been trying for a couple of months. That’s absolutely no time at all. I’ve been trying for 19 months now. Yes it can get annoying when people say things like “you not thinking about it yet?” or anytime I’m feeling ill people saying “ooh is it because you’re pregnant??” But that because we have been trying for so long. I wouldn’t get too worked up about it at such an early stage to be honest. If you don’t like people asking how ttc is going, just tell them outright

@Shootfirstaskquestionslater YABU because you've shared the info.
We started TTC this year and are constantly asked by in-laws, who know nothing of our plans. Luckily, we are having some work done on our house so I just change the topic to discuss that. They mean well & are excited, but it is no one else's business but yours - you should try and keep it that way.

I told MIL my sex life was nothing to do with her. She never asked again.

Thank you coffeeforone I'm trying not to worry just really hoping that spending so long on the mini pill might of caused some problems which is really something that I should've looked in to first. I think I have got a bit obsessed with it all which isn't the best thing really because it's just driving me crazy. Thank you. We've never had big massive arguments or disagreements we get along great we laugh about everything we've had a few silly little arguments but we always talk it out and fix whatever it is.

Thank you RoseGoldEagle I wouldn't mind if people asked once in awhile but it's constant and I just can't face being asked all the time I can't even say if am feeling a bit off because even that has people jumping straight for the pregnant card I wish that was true. Thank you am sure it will happen for me and your friend soon .

Bubblegum89 I know but it feels like a lot longer than think because I've got so caught up in it all that it feels like months. I'm trying not to I think I need to take up a hobby or just go for walks just to try and help me relax and take my mind off it all. Good luck I hope it happens for you soon.

LP17 I think people are just excited for me and I understand why they are so excited I just need to find a way to not let it get to me and focus my mind on something else.

qwertyuiopy hahaha bet she really regretted asking after she got told that.

I've not RTFT because YAdefinitelyBU with the total absence of punctuation

Good luck with TTC

Thank you moofeatures and I know my lack of punctuation is a problem. I'm out this month AF just showed up.

I think talking about it and having the pressure and expectations of others is only going to raise your stress levels (even give you late periods etc) Especially if you do have MH fluctuations (me too) this won't help.

You need to tell them to back off - and keep quiet until you're a few months gone at least.

KanyeWesticle I think your right it probably gets me more stressed than I realise and none of it helps with TTC or my periods. I'm just not going to answer anyone's questions now until I have something to tell them because it's just all making it hard on me. It probably doesn't help that my boyfriend goes out to work and because I have no job atm I sit here all day with nothing to do think I need to look in to volunteering to give me something to do and a way to focus my mind on to something else.

You tell them OP!! Why is it that there is such a focus on women and their womb, but men never ever get asked the same thing. And what is it to do with everyone else? The country and the planet is severally overpopulated anyways, lots of childless families will help do the world some good! I got advice on one of my threads on a similar subject that if a friend asks me about them I should say that their kids put me off having my own kids!