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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old your dc were when you let them go to the park alone?

76 replies

Userwho · 22/04/2018 20:20

Park is over the road from house, less than 2 min walk but you have to cross the road. If you walk 20 or so steps from front door you can see the playground. Road not busy and cars often slow down to let children cross. Lots of children out on their own.

At what age would you let your dc go alone?

OP posts:
jaseyraex · 22/04/2018 21:30

We live a five minute walk from a park, it's not visible from our house. I think I'd let DS go when he's around 9 depending on his maturity. I think that comes in to it more than age does. I was 6 myself when I was allowed out on my own. That was 20 years ago now mind Grin

Original poster
Userwho · 22/04/2018 21:31

5/6 and up is the norm here. Big groups of kids out together in the park and also the shop. It's much livelier than where I used to live!

OP posts:
sirfredfredgeorge · 22/04/2018 21:34

When DD was 5 and was heading to the park alone (just going along early on a short simple walk, I was still going along) A concerned lady asked if she was okay etc. And whilst DD handled it well (as did the lady, no complaints about the concern) it still discouraged her from wanting to go along by herself, just to avoid the difficult conversations as opposed to feeling uncomfortable.

She's been in the street out of sight in what would be a similar set up for even longer, probably out of sight on the block at 4. Certainly going to the corner shops at 5.

She takes a phone when not just in the street.

Purplejay · 22/04/2018 21:34

We let DS be at the park with a friend from the end of year 4 (age 9). It is across a busy estate road and out of sight so he was taken and collected to begin with. A year later he was allowed to go with a friend and now his area has broardened to include wood/park on this side of the road too. He is in yr 6. He has been walking to school (a 15 min walk) since the start of y6 so I am relaxing a bit. He seems very good about crossing the road.

I have always told him if he sticks to the boundarys set the will get bigger and if not they will get smaller. He has been pretty good. I tend to say he has to be back in a couple of hours or make contact to stay longer. He has a couple of friends who seem to have similar rules.

Original poster
Userwho · 22/04/2018 21:42

My dc only ever stay out about 15 mins! Think it's mainly the novelty of being allowed out rather than actually wanting to be in the park, for now anyway.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 22/04/2018 23:12

In ops situation - 8 years old.

@Echobelly - good idea to get some independent practise in. My dd, then 8, did a triathlon last year, a small local one. I was gobsmacked that the 3 km mountain bike cycle route was on a cycle trail through a forest - on their own, no marshals. And there were several forks on the trail with just small markers 'that way'. The 2km run, although essentially round a big field, they were also completely out of sight for however long it took. I didn't think I was a precious parent but I was the only parent pegging it round the course making sure I saw her at various points!

Ladyflop · 23/04/2018 04:10

My 6 yr old goes to the local park on his own, it's only about a minute away and he's very road savvy. Every child is different of course, and every parent!

SandyY2K · 23/04/2018 07:26

Year 6.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 23/04/2018 07:27

My 7 and 10 year old are now playing out - just on the road though Wink so I would allow to park in the circumstances you describe

kaytee87 · 23/04/2018 07:30

Probably 8yo but preferably with a friend or sibling.

hopefullhelpful · 23/04/2018 10:02

Our house backs onto the park- children just have to go out of the back gate so no roads to cross. I'm letting DD 12 take DS 7- she's very sporty and is taking him running which is sweet. They do about 5 laps (5k) and are gone for 30 mins or so.

I can see then from the back bedrooms though.... Smile

Fruitcorner123 · 23/04/2018 10:06

I certainly wouldn't be worried about them being snatched but I think 6 is too young to be trusted with road safety. I would say 8 but depends on the child. Also that would be the age of the youngest. I wouldnt't try expect an 8 year old to be responsible for a younger sibling.

ghostyslovesheets · 23/04/2018 10:27

my DD is 9 and plays in the fields by our house, and calls round for friends etc - has done for the past year

However she is always either with her friends or on her way to their house - she has a phone (no sim) and uses an ap to message me when she is out to let me know she is okay

TenGinBottles · 23/04/2018 10:33

I let my 6 & 8 year olds out, but they have to stay on the area which I can see from the kitchen window. Our garden backs onto it, so they don't even need to go on the pavement to get there.

SomeKnobend · 23/04/2018 10:48

What watch is it op? Have you got a link? Sounds fab. We don't have a park near enough to walk to but if we did I'd say maybe 10, or 8 or so with an older sibling.

Bonelessbanquet · 23/04/2018 10:58

If they’re your children why are you concerned what your relatives think?

I’d be concerned about my child being out alone, but that’s due to the nature of my work involving young adults who have been groomed etc

Audree · 23/04/2018 11:11

Ds 8. Dd - 6 with ds who was 10 at that time.
I would ask your concerned relative what they were allowed to do at your child’s age?

IAmMatty · 23/04/2018 13:12

12!!!

I've been testing almost-8 year old and he just isn't ready. Will keep giving him little baby-steps adventures until I can trust him a bit more.

Haudyerwheesht · 23/04/2018 13:54

Ds was 9 I think although the park is not as close as you say. I’d probably have let him go to the park in your scenario at about 8? Dd is 7 now and plays in our street without us supervising and the far end of the street is probably a similar distance although we can see it. She’s only allowed if she’s with friends and I check on her regularly and if she’s going to play in someone’s garden or whatever she has to come ask.

bonbonours · 23/04/2018 14:15

I would let my 7 and 9 year old do this no problem. Probably not the 7 year old on his own though, mostly because he's liable to fall over, hurt himself and stand there wailing.
Being "snatched" would be the last thing I would worry about.

Original poster
Userwho · 23/04/2018 14:38

The concerned relative was once taken aed 2 from a busy beach and she was missing for about 20 mins before being found and the "snatcher" running off - so I see why she is concerned.

OP posts:
Original poster
Userwho · 23/04/2018 14:39

aged 2

OP posts:
OP posts:
MissDuke · 23/04/2018 14:44

Unless the concerned relative is their dad then I really don't think they get a say in this op.

However since you asked, I have a very sensible 7 yr old, but like my older children, certainly will not be going out alone for a few years yet. Can you not just go with them?

stressedoutfred · 23/04/2018 14:46

Just started letting 9 year old go to the local park, it's just round the corner ( 4 houses along) and his best friend lives in the 4th house. They're given a very strict time limit ( usually 30 mins).

I can see them out of our back window if I want to.

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