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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not give ball back until his mum comes round

74 replies

NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 10:18

Neighbour problems-
Have discussed this before but in a nutshell a few of neighbours dcs but one in particular decided the perfect place to play football was again msg the side of my house 😡
Anyway for weeks I asked them nicely please don’t do that find somewhere else to play. Until I one time the boy kicked it against the house and I opened the window and said ‘don’t let that ball touch this house again’ he looked me in the eye and booted it against the wall.
Obviously I went straight round and spoke to his mum and told her to not let it happen again.
Yesterday we were in the garden with friends and the boy came and shouted over ‘I’m really sorry but I kicked my ball into your garden earlier can I have it back’
I’ve not gave it back I think his mum needs to come and apologise that he’s obviously not listening and still balling ball against my house still.

OP posts:

NewYearNewMe18 · 22/04/2018 11:58

he boy came and shouted over ‘I’m really sorry but I kicked my ball into your garden earlier can I have it back’ ...... I’ve not gave it back I think his mum needs to come and apologise that he’s obviously not listening and still balling ball against my house still

Don't give the little sh1t his ball back

I love MN ... her we have a kid who did wrong, apologised but apparently he's a little shit, the mother apparently needs to apologise, even though the boy has already apologised ... only on MN is the kid a little shit because he has offended the OP ... now if a MAN had described a child as a little shit ... the entire wrath of MN would descend upon him and call him a a dick .

You couldn't script this shit.

5 4 3 2 1 ...anyone advised calling the police yet as the OP has stolen his ball and it's theft ?

champagneplanet · 22/04/2018 11:58

He wasn't kicking it against your house

He apologised and asked nicely to have his ball back

Unless you're looking for an argument give him his ball back!!

SD1978 · 22/04/2018 12:00

So if I understand- he wasn’t actively kicking it against the side of your house, after complaining to his Mum this behaviour stopped, but whilst out playing. The ball has ended up in your garden. Since this isn’t a regular occurrence, and the behaviour that had irritated you has stopped, I feel that you are being quite unreasonable. It’s the first time. I’d give the kid his ball back and reassess if it happens again.

Scoogle · 22/04/2018 12:00

Sorry he was playing in the street outside your house but you didn't want him to. Is that right?

WillowWept · 22/04/2018 12:03

FFS. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being 'that' neighbour? Give the kid his ball back and stop whining

This!!

He wasn't playing against your house, he apologised. Seriously WTF?!

PenelopeFlintstone · 22/04/2018 12:03

What Champagne Planet said.
(He hasn't kicked it against your house since you went to see his mum, has he?)

Original poster

NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 12:04

I’ve given it back

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 22/04/2018 12:08

There really are a lot of miserable fuckers around. Sounds like an accident this time and he asked politely. Are you going to hold his previous behaviour against him forever?

Catsrawesome · 22/04/2018 12:10

Stick to your guns and make the mother come around for it. I’m sure after that, the little shit will think twice as it will give his lazy mother an incentive to not want to come to your door again.

Coralcolouredchrome · 22/04/2018 12:15

We had a problem with stray balls. The LB next door, continually kept kicking his football against the wall, where we sat and relaxed, it would go on until the ball ended up over the wall into our garden, breaking plants in the process. The next time the ball came over my OH put it in shed, intending to hand it back after we had finished eating. Ten minutes into our meal another ball came over, then another and another. My OH took all balls back asking if the boy could stop kicking them at wall, and over it. No sooner had we settled back down in garden, feckin ball boy started again. In the space of a week twenty balls came over. By this time we were really PO, so when they were all in garden having a BBQ we shouted we were throwing some balls back, all we could hear was shouts of, it nearly went in barbie, it's on the table, and they're breaking the plants. Welcome to our world, I said. We haven't had a problem with them since.

DamsonOnThisDress · 22/04/2018 12:16

I can see your point. Agree with previous posters that had it been an accident I'd give it back but he's got an attitude and has been rude so I suppose YANBU.

That said I'd probably just throw it back over the fence and leave it there because I can't be arsed with stuff like that. If someone else took it well that wouldn't be my problem. Ball in, not mine, ball straight back out again.

DoraJar · 22/04/2018 12:18

A lovely guy I worked with told me about his fantastic neighbour - when he was a kid they would all play football, and often the ball would hit the neighbour's car (which was his pride and joy). The neighbour would say have fun but can you try not to hit the car (they were kids and would try not to - but hey they were kids) - neighbour's response was never mind I know you are just having fun. The lovely work colleague said he always thought when I'm a grown up I'm going to be like the lovely neighbour and let kids have fun!

DamsonOnThisDress · 22/04/2018 12:24

20 balls? Goodness! When we had neighbours my son and his friends would occasionally knock balls over into next door.

They got 2 strikes. If it happened a second time I made them stop because they wouldn't be annoying the neighbours twice.

They'd have to wait and hope neighbour threw it back when he saw it (he always did).

Except once when his dog burst it. The ball was almost as big as the dog. We were in awe of that little dog.

maddiemookins16mum · 22/04/2018 12:31

My dear old mum livec next door to two lively boys and a variety of balls used to appear. In the end she told them to come and get it themselves - she was the end house of three in a very, very quiet cul de sac and she had a side gate. They'd come out of their front door, pass hers, go in the side gate, get the ball etc. This went on for years - they were 4 and 6 when it started and many glasses of squash and malted milk biscuits were devoured during the period (she used to buy them for 'the boys' as they had cows on.
Fast forward 15 years, the lads still lived at home and every Wednesday without fail before the oldest drove off to work at the local hospital, he'd go up the side of my mums house and put her bin out and put it back every time when he got home. I always think of those two boys when I see a 'can I have my ball back' story.

ParisUSM · 22/04/2018 12:37

@maddiemookins16mum that's a lovely story. We used to just go in neighbours' gardens to retrieve balls, kites, shuttlecocks.... without even asking - everyone did as it was just that sort of community growing up. Would walk straight into our immediate neighbour's house, only knocking on the living room door before going in. Seems crazy now!

TSSDNCOP · 22/04/2018 12:42

I love to hear kids play in the summer and there are fewer and fewer places for them to do it safely, but I think the sound of a ball banging against the side of my house would drive me crazy, and I’d bet my purse that all these “petty - give him the ball back types” would too in the real world.

I’d make him wait, then give him the ball back. I couldn’t be arsed to get into it with his mother.

DetMcnulty · 22/04/2018 12:47

Our lovely old neighbour built a "bridge" of sorts that our kids could climb over to get any balls they kicked over. We ended up great friends, our boys made friends with the grandkids who occasionally stayed and we'd look after their pets for their holidays. Life is too short to be petty!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/04/2018 13:47

Huge sympathy, OP, but I guess a lot will depend on the parents.

For years we were driven mad - dds trying to revise for GCSEs and A levels included - by kids constantly kicking footballs against garage doors - endless BANG BANG BANG - and repeatedly kicking balls into our front garden, right up to our sitting room window - and peering in every time they came to retrieve it, besides damaging my plants. Quite apart from anything else, it was very intrusive.

The kids were nearly all German or Austrian, in rented houses - we have a German school not far away - and despite our asking politely more than once, the parents honestly did not give a shiny shit about anyone else.

We have a huge park with a massive open space just a very few minutes' walk away, and when I suggested this as an alternative to one of the mothers, her very curt response was, 'We don't want to go to the park!' Most of the kids were easily old enough to go unaccompanied.

I grew to loathe all these neighbours and their wretched kids. Thank God we have none such at the moment.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/04/2018 20:10

If he's stopped playing against your house after the last incident then I think you should give the ball back.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 22/04/2018 20:21

God only on MN would people talk about children making life hell for their neighbours being some sort of human right.

Bollocks that children don't know boundaries. Utter bollocks. My 4yo knows not to come in the loo when adults are there, a boy old enough to be playing football, who HAS BEEN TOLD not to kick it against a house, knows his boundaries - he just doesn't respect them.

Honestly I dread the think the kind of kids some of you are raising

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 22/04/2018 20:23

know it's annoying but he is only playing footie , this stage will pass very quickly and then he will be off doing other stuff and leaving you alone*

I can only assume some of you have only ever lived next door to naice children.

Honestly OP id puncture the fucking thing, the fact he kicked it at you after you told him to stop kicking it against your house tells you everything you need to know

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 22/04/2018 20:25

And as for everyone saying puncture the ball, do you also destroy adult's property if they annoy you? Key their cars if they park in a way you don't like

If an adult, for example, was at work and chucking a rubber ball at the wall near me, and not stopping when I asked, too right I'd bin it if I got my hands on it

SandAndSea · 22/04/2018 20:38

Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a child kicking a ball at a wall repeatedly? I've spent far too much of my life having to listen to this torturous noise and not one of those children has become or is likely to become a professional footballer.

If your child does this, please, take them to the park!

(I have a ball in my back garden as I write.)

backsackcraic · 22/04/2018 20:42

I'd have accepted and praised him for the apology and given him the ball on the understanding that if it ever went in your garden again or touched your house you'd pop it!

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