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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give ball back until his mum comes round

74 replies

NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 10:18

Neighbour problems-
Have discussed this before but in a nutshell a few of neighbours dcs but one in particular decided the perfect place to play football was again msg the side of my house 😡
Anyway for weeks I asked them nicely please don’t do that find somewhere else to play. Until I one time the boy kicked it against the house and I opened the window and said ‘don’t let that ball touch this house again’ he looked me in the eye and booted it against the wall.
Obviously I went straight round and spoke to his mum and told her to not let it happen again.
Yesterday we were in the garden with friends and the boy came and shouted over ‘I’m really sorry but I kicked my ball into your garden earlier can I have it back’
I’ve not gave it back I think his mum needs to come and apologise that he’s obviously not listening and still balling ball against my house still.

OP posts:
DaanSaaf · 22/04/2018 10:55

Are you Victor meldrew? Give him his ball back!

Juells · 22/04/2018 10:56

If you wanted to be really PA you could use the tiniest of tiny needles to puncture the ball just before giving it back. It would take quite a while to deflate, and couldn't be connected to you. Though I wouldn't have the balls (sorry) to do that myself 😂

ParisUSM · 22/04/2018 10:56

I'd give the ball back. You're just antagonising his mum and it will escalate. Think back when you were a child, do you really want to be 'that' neighbour?

GreenTulips · 22/04/2018 11:00

Children have no concept of boundaries. That is why they barge into the toilet when you are in the bath/on the loo

Which is why it's your job as a parent to teach them boundaries not OPs

do you really want to be 'that' neighbour?

She's not - next door are 'that neighbour' for having kids with no manners

GreenTulips · 22/04/2018 11:01

Think back when you were a child

If we sent ballsniver the fence my mother would say 'they'll throw it back when they see it' and they did within a few days - that's life

Ali4u · 22/04/2018 11:02

Kids playing in their garden, how dare they :) should be in their room on the Xbox :)

Original poster
NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 11:03

Again he was in the road his garden is around the back of his house no where near mine we don’t have adjoining gardens.

OP posts:
Gregoria · 22/04/2018 11:04

I'd give it back - in exchange for a written note of apology. :)

BarbarianMum · 22/04/2018 11:05

If he's been playing ball in the street then you should give the ball back. You are not the football police.

And as for everyone saying puncture the ball, do you also destroy adult's property if they annoy you? Key their cars if they park in a way you don't like?

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/04/2018 11:06

Well, you've done it now, so our views are irrelevant, aren't they? Has mum been over to apologise yet? How did it go?

Presumably the kid doesn't have the ball at the moment, so there's a consequence right there.

Be interesting to see if he carries on the behaviour once he DOES get the ball back.

FWIW, I favour the "yes, but at my convenience" approach to ball returning (on here. IRL I just tell the kids to come in and get it, but we've got a tiny back garden which we don't really use except for hanging out washing, so not really an issue)

Woshambo · 22/04/2018 11:12

@Flutterbyeee "moo muff" lmfao!

Original poster
NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 11:14

I’ve not done anything so far I’m undecided my gut says stick to my guns as he’s so bloody rude and entitled but you lot are making me feel bad

OP posts:
ParisUSM · 22/04/2018 11:17

@GreenTulips, yeah but they didn't demand your mum came over to apologise before giving it back.

Grandmaswagsbag · 22/04/2018 11:17

Petty and pathetic, give the bloody ball back. He at least apologised, this time it could have be a genuine accident.

Juells · 22/04/2018 11:19

Toss it back over the fence onto the road? You're 'returning' it, but some other kid might get his hands on it first.

Original poster
NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 11:23

Done chucked it over but if it comes back it’s staying

OP posts:
Creambun2 · 22/04/2018 11:32

do you live in a middle class area?

Weezol · 22/04/2018 11:37

It's the missing 'please' that would make me hang on to it for 48hrs tbh. However, who punctures a football? That's horrible.

Original poster
NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 11:38

Yes probably be described as middle class or ‘naice’ all professionals here, pricey development

OP posts:
Thequeenisdeadboys · 22/04/2018 11:47

Give the lad his ball back !

GreenTulips · 22/04/2018 11:47

@GreenTulips, yeah but they didn't demand your mum came over to apologise before giving it back.

Probably because I wasn't a rude entitled child!! So no apology needed.

DS kicked a ball next door yesterday and I told he he couldn't go and disturb the neighbours to get it back. He accepted that and found another ball. He did not shoot abuse at the neighbours. If he did I would make sure he apologised and I would take the ball off him

ParisUSM · 22/04/2018 11:48

What's the 'class' of the area got to do with things (do people really describe areas like this, never heard that in my life!)

pandarific · 22/04/2018 11:50

Little shit. Absolutely no way he’s getting that ball back until his mum comes around and then she’d be getting both barrels.

Flomper · 22/04/2018 11:52

if he asked as politely as you say I rhibk you should give it back. Life is too short. Keep the moral high ground. Adults being mean ro kids never comes off in the adults favour, rightly or wrongly.

maddiemookins16mum · 22/04/2018 11:55

I'd use it as the perfect opportunity to build some mutual respect. Remind him that you'd appreciate him not kicking it against your wall, he may well keep to his side of the deal with you being gracious in giving his ball back (especially as he said please). It's got to be worth a try.