To ask what's an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?

[Midge1978]

For me it's keeping the bathroom clean. I don't think I ever saw my mother clean hers but it was always immaculate and rosey smelling. I can't seem to keep on top of the mould monster in mine!

Actually having to divorce someone because you'd married the wrong person. I think I just assumed that getting married fixed things.

People dying and the relentlessness of daily admin and chores. It never fucking stops.

The crushing disappointment when you go to sip your coffee and you've already finished it...

Pregnancy loss.

Shortly after it happened to me I spoke to a friend that I'd not seen in ages, and they were having difficulty conceiving. When we're young we're taught all about pregnancy, how to avoid it, what happens when you give birth. Zero mention that it's not nearly that simple for so many people, and that the non textbook stuff is just as life changing as having a child, if not more so.

Finding the stopcock!

Wondering when my child will die and when their next seizure will be. Fun times being an adult.

Miscarriage
Mastitis
Burying a child
Continuing to be "bright"
Carrying on
A child self harming due to a neuro developmental disability and there being no NHS care
An A&E sister yelling across the ED that I was obstructing my child's care and she'd call the police if we left. Her superiors and those who were expert had already said we could go but after 8.5 hours the paperwork wasn't sorted. She thought we should have stayed for a CAMHS assessment.
The NHS failing to provide MH care for a self harming child. Luckily we could afford a private psychiatrist but it didn't stop being on the receiving end of the little bitch above.
Becoming reliant on sleeping pills because of the above.

Dealing with your children when their hearts are utterly broken and one of them has a chronic illness.

Cleaning skirting boards

Really?!

Like the Buddhist Lama said "No-one is going to be lying on their death bed saying I wish I had kept a cleaner house

or spent more time in the office

HTH.

that the menopause is not over when your periods stop

Yes to marriage 😡
Yes to having to decide what to make for tea every damn night.
Just the sheer amount of money you need to earn just to be comfortable. As a child, I’d never have in my wildest dreams imagined we’d earn the money we do yet we’re only just comfortable.
The amount of tax you have to pay.

How you can't just walk away from any of it the moment you have kids.

Own mental health appointments at a GP.

I'm so ashamed and so down I'm not the person I thought I was. I'm so beaten down and scared health professionals would class me as unstable

Oh... and that you might meet the love of your life afterall, but it wont be your childhood sweetheart you dated in to adulthood, or husband.

It'll be a (now) married Policeman you start chatting to on a night out a few months before you say 'I do'.

Politics. I thought I’d learn it and form a view. Had no idea that I would be so uncertain in middle age.

The shear amount of admin involved in going to bed.
Make sure doors and car is locked, empty the dishwasher, sort out stuff you need for the morning, get a drink, give the cat her supper, turn off all the lights, contacts out, make up off, brush teeth, bed!

That you never really feel like an adult, even when you do really grown up stuff, like being a board member or getting your car serviced, or you manage a huge multimillion pound service and have 50 staff relying on you. You still feel like you are playing grown up, none of it feels natural or that you should be doing it.

My DH is a much better adult than me. He 'sorts shit out'. Gets the car brakes fixed and pays the council tax and worries about energy tarriffs whilst I lay on the floor being dramatic and declaring it all so annoying and stuff I cannot face. I have no idea why he stays thinking about it.

SimonBridges I complain about that all the time! By the time I decide I'm tired enough for bed, I'm ready. And then I have to do all this STUFF

I thought as an adult I'd feel adult and would calmly and serenely sail through life managing things and myself.. Didn't realise that aged 50ish, if something breaks from the fuse box to a heart... I still want my dad to come and fix it for me...

Pain.

And realising that your "perfect" childhood, wasn't.

Your children are you and you become your parents.

Being married and the mental load being nowhere near equal. Getting a pissy moody whingebag of a DH when you try to share it. So. Fucking. Exhausting.

What to make for dinner, 7 days a week. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

DH who refuses to learn to cook. How do you think I can turn out such high quality food, dear?

At work no one really cares how good you are at the work, they only care if you fit in with their "banter".

Doing up a house is near impossible unless you are a tradesperson yourself, because you will not find anyone willing to do the smaller jobs/finishing.

Friends will come and go in your life and you have no way of knowing who will still be around in 6 months or 6 years. Yet you still have to put just as much effort into each friendship.

“No-one is going to be lying on their death bed saying I wish I had kept a cleaner house.”

Doubt he’s ever been to a hoarder’s home

Not quite fitting with the tone of the thread (This one is quite trivial.) but came as shock to me at the time anyway. That you have to do your bikini line

No, you don't. You really, really don't. No one is looking. No one cares. No one will ever notice - and if they do (which, obviously, I doubt) they don't matter. You do not have to do your bikini line. Ever. Trust me on this.

After I posted about all the admin involved in going to bed I got started.
I’ve just got into bed.
Granted I had washing to take upstairs and put away too but ffs half a fucking hour.