AIBU to wonder why friend is annoyed at me for this?

[Whatabugashoo]

So friend lent me some stuff whilst pregnant and after baby was born. She volunteered it all and I took some of it out of politeness tbh.

So had it for a while and meant to take it back myself (she said she didn't need it in any particular time-frame). But DH lost his job and I had to leave the country because no money and v small baby (we're expats), DH then had heart troubles because of stress and I didn't want to ask him to take it back.

So now she is asking and so I asked DH and he say's no, let her come and get it. He say's this out of principle because although I had a small baby and she had an older one I always had to go visit her (30 min drive) and she wouldn't come to ours when I invited her.
Theres nothing I can do because I'm a million miles away so I asked her to come and get it and she's totally pissed off at me. AIBU?

Juells that is absolutely horrendous. I feel quite upset for you.

Assume that was the end of that friendship?

You don't hold other people's possessions hostage, to 'punish' them for past thoughtlessness.

If you (that's you the OP, DH and your DC) had the benefit of the items lent tot you, then you should return them. DH should JFDI. Visits are a separate matter and on both accounts, I can't believe friend and DH are making such a fuss over 30 mins drive each way.

Telling someone to collect their stuff is not holding it hostage.

When they've been kind enough to lend things to you, 'telling them to collect it' would be incredibly rude.

Assuming that your dh has more time now that you and the baby aren't there, he should take the stuff back.

Once again Mumsnet can be another planet. She kindly lent you all her baby items. You left the country without returning them. Your husband refuses to either bring or send them.

Ffs. No good deed goes unpunished.

Are you on the run from the law?

Is the "stuff" borrowed guns used in the crime?

Unbelievable. Get her stuff back to her one way or another, it's your responsibility.

Get DH to pack the stuff up then use Hermes who will collect from your home or a local collection point. You weigh the items then register your parcel and print label off internet