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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stop a woman boarding train when people were departing?

50 replies

gorseclay · 21/04/2018 14:16

I was astonished. Lovely day yesterday and took a day trip. Departing train on return journey that continued after our station.

Busy train station and train but 80% seemed to decant the train with us.
Group of women in 20s/30s decided that they’d try and get on the train as we were all getting off. Tried pushing into me as I was about to take the step off.

I put my arms out to stop her and said “Please wait until people have got off the train first”. Which she followed up with group protestations.

After I was off they’d pushed past an elderly lady behind me.

I’m sorry, but surely this is common sense?

Even if the group of women didn’t manage to get a seat, the final stop was 30 mins or so after.

Has anyone else experienced this level of selfishness?

OP posts:

footballmum · 21/04/2018 14:18

I’m a regular train commuter and everyone on the platform always wait for passengers to get off train before they get on. Maybe they don’t travel on trains very often and are unaware of the etiquette?

LoniceraJaponica · 21/04/2018 14:19

She was rude. Good for you for speaking up.

QuiteLikely5 · 21/04/2018 14:19

Meh This wouldn’t even register with me!

Earlybird · 21/04/2018 14:20

Yes. The lack of basic consideration for others can be astounding.

Just curious - how old were the women pushing on to the train?

Thewindsofchange · 21/04/2018 14:22

I hate this. Room 101 material. There is absolutely no need to push on a train when you can see people are still getting off.
It's slightly different if there is a gap in the flow (ie someone has stopped to grab a bag) and it looks like everyone has got off but if not it is rude rude rude

AssassinatedBeauty · 21/04/2018 14:23

Someone pushing into you wouldn't even register with you, @QuiteLikely5?

It's self centered and rude. I'd have done exactly what you did, and have in fact done this in the past. You were not unreasonable at all to have spoken to them.

KERALA1 · 21/04/2018 14:25

Everyone with half a brain knows you "allow passengers off the train first" it's on a flipping tannoy announcement!

Thick and rude. Them not op obv.

LucyAutumn · 21/04/2018 14:27

Nope you were completely in the right and to be honest I wish more people would stand up to numpty's like this. Bravo!

herethereandeverywhere · 21/04/2018 14:29

YADNBU

but you'd have a full time job on your hands if you tried this where I live (Germany). It's the norm to push your way on ASAP and those standing back to let people off can enjoy others coming right from the back down the middle of the space to push on first. Kids are viewed as a rush hour inconvenience.

The achievement of getting on first (or waiting for the shortest time for a service) is seen far more important than being kind or what is right.

I lived inLondon for 17 years and commuted daily on the tube. It was kind, gentle and friendly by comparison.

IsItThatTimeAlready131 · 21/04/2018 14:29

Yep, same with lifts. If people get out the lift or off the train first it leaves plenty of space for people to get on. Also, common courtesy.

Another thing, when I'm leaving school and there are children coming in late I'll let them through the gates first as it's more important for them to get into school than it is for me to get home\to Sainburys a few seconds earlier. Sometimes groups of parents leaving can block the gates and make the children even later - thoughtless and inconsiderate at times.

I think I have found a new soapbox!

Grrrrrr. People can be so thoughtless and self-centered sometimes. (Before you all start telling me I am so perfect, I'm not, I just try to be perfect, I just try to let the most important things happen first in time constrained situations.

supercalifragilisticexpiali · 21/04/2018 14:37

On the tube, pulled into the station, and two children pushed on before any of the departing passengers got off. There were still people queuing in the aisle waiting to get off! Children sat in the long seats facing me, outstretched their arms, and basically commandeered the row.

Once the other passengers had departed, the rest of their family got on and dad looked mighty pleased that this ruse had world and they had seats... except the train was half empty at this point and they could have sat anywhere!

I’d like to see them try that at rush hour...

TheJoyOfSox · 21/04/2018 14:40

People who either try to get on the train before passengers have got off or people who stand directly in front of the doors so alighting passengers literally have nowhere to go, both of these knobs need public flogging!

I come across these people from time to time, they always seem deeply upset when I tread on their foot, elbow them out of my way or in some cases actually push them out of the way so as I can exit.

Why do they think they will get to their destination any sooner?

Public flogging, it’s the only way.

NotAgainYoda · 21/04/2018 14:46

I find that this is much less common than it used to be when I was younger. Most people have the good grace to wait. I always ask people to wait until I've got off if they try it. So rude

DaisysStew · 21/04/2018 14:48

I hate it when people do this. There’s clearly going to be spare seats if so many people are getting off so just what’s the rush?

Deathraystare · 21/04/2018 14:51

Ditto people barging into a shop whilst others are trying to leave. My pet hate.Especially if it is a busy shop - where is the sense in not waiting to let people out and then the shop is a little less full??? Shop not going anywhere in the next couple of minutes, honest!

InspMorse · 21/04/2018 14:52

I b

Sirzy · 21/04/2018 14:52

Drives me mad, even more so when I am trying to get ds off the train or out of the lift in his chair and people are pushing past. Stand back until everyone is off then get on/in

InspMorse · 21/04/2018 14:53

I bet they don't travel by train/ tube very often.
Everyone lets people off first. It's the rule.

EggysMom · 21/04/2018 14:56

I get off the tram at a very popular stop for city centre commuters, it's the last stop before the run of city centre stops. The platform is generally mobbed, and they all stand waiting for the tram doors to open, completely oblivious to the idea that somebody might want to get off there ... I take no prisoners I give a very loud 'Excuse me!' and push through them all.

LoniceraJaponica · 21/04/2018 14:56

Meh This wouldn’t even register with me!

Are you completely devoid of any manners QuiteLikely5?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 21/04/2018 15:03

Lady in the lift this morning had to shout at the couple trying to get into the lift... she had a double buggy and there were 5 more of us trying to get out!

They were on the ground floor and just sort of marched in as soon as the doors opened and turned to face the doors, waiting for them to close.

They didn't, mainly because I had my finger on the Open Door button. The woman pushed the door button a couple of times, a couple of people said "Excuse me" quite loudly, the woman asked out loud why the doors wouldn't close and the woman with the buggy shouted "Because we are ALL trying to get out of the bloody lift"

Cue the man looking round and saying sorry, as he backed out, and stood standing about 6inches from the door!

I suspect common sense is no longer taught in schools!

SpringNowPlease2018 · 21/04/2018 15:05

what did they say to you OP?

I have, rarely, had to shout "how about you let people off first" at an offender but they usually just make a grumpy face.

do these people have a big plate of stupid for breakfast?

Talkingfrog · 21/04/2018 15:10

They were being rude and it could have been dangerous on several counts
*it is polite to let people get off first
*by pushing you, they could have made you loose balance or footing, resulting in a fall or slip between train and platform
*there was probably a queue behind you so they would have had no where to go (unless they pushed them out of tge way too)
I would have told them to wait too. Hope the older lady was OK.

(mind you I once told a group of girls that pushed in when using a lift in a shopping centre, that unless my daughters pushchair and husband were able to get in the lift with me, I would stop the door closing until they got off to let them in. No one on the lift said anything, but shuffled up to make room.)

Fortheloveofscience · 21/04/2018 15:18

I’m a daily tube commuter, and in your situation am 100% on your side OP. However, one day I was on my way back from a lunchtime meeting, a pretty much empty train pulls into the platform and as the doors open I step on. A late-middle-age man goes out of his way to push through me rather than continuing on his clear path through the doors, whilst huffing that I should have let him off first .

ppeatfruit · 21/04/2018 15:23

There are a lot of numpties about. I love the story of a lunatic running for the train, she loses her flip flops AND her mobile under the train!!! duh!

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