To not tell DP how baby doctor appointment went immediately?

[SparkleBuns]

Genuinely not sure if I'm being unreasonable here.

Our 10 month old baby son has had a bad cold and cough last couple of days (cough for 2 weeks before that) so I took today off work and went to doctors. I emailed DP at 9am at his work telling him I'd taken day off and that DS had a doctor appointment at 10. He replied saying thanks for update.

Went to docs, got seen, all OK, out by 1020. Went to shop to get a few things in for the weekend with DS. Got home had a bite to eat then checked my emails on phone about 1130. Had three emails from DP.. First asking how it went at docs, then second asking if everything OK, then third just a load of question marks.

I replied and said everything OK. I said sorry I hadn't emailed earlier but was just in door. And also said he shouldn't worry as if anything serious ever happened id call him immediately.

He replied quite aggressively saying how would I have liked it if I was stuck at work and he didn't bother telling me how an appointment went straight away, and what was I doing that was so important I forgot to message him, and I obviously couldn't be bothered emailing him etc. I replied saying he was being unreasonable and I wouldn't respond as he was talking to me horribly. He said well I'm glad to see what you think of me and that I was being unreasonable.

I would expect my DH to let me know the moment he left the doctor. I would be waiting to hear.

I think you're unreasonable to not think of him...and go home and eat! I'd be very annoyed and you weren't "just in door" either!

It wouldn't occur to me NOT to phone DH to tell him what the doctor said. If I knew he'd be in a meeting or something I would have at least text.

I've been to the doctor's today for me and I text my DH as soon as I left because I knew he'd be wondering how I got on.

I tend to text on my way out the GP or as we’ve got in the car.

I think he's a drama queen. The baby had a cold, you went to the doctor, obviously you would have called him if there was anything to say other than "the baby has a cold".

The guilt tripping and accusations were out of order. All he had to do was text "phew! I was worried" and you would have let him know the outcome next time.

Sorry, but I think he’s a drama llama. If there was something seriously wrong with your baby I’m sure you’d have called him straight away. No phone call in my opinion means there is nothing serious to worry about. After all, he didnt worry the last 2 weeks that your baby has had a cough, to take a day off and get him to the doctors did he? You had to do it.

YABVU not to update straight away. My DH usually takes DS to docs when I'm at work and i'd be absolutely worried sick if he didn't update me immediately. HE could have been rushed to hospital for all i know...

Massive over reaction. He sounds hideous

Personally I text DP straight after DCs appointments and keep him updated if it's running late etc. I think if he knew the time and then hadn't heard anything for ages he'd worry that there was a problem and I was too busy to message as something was wrong.

Having said that, he wouldn't be angry at me if I didn't let him know straight away just maybe worried, after DDs last appointment she was fussing a bit so I just gave him a brief call as we left the hospital and said I'd give more detail once home which he was fine with.

It's an overreaction. Then again I'm married to a man who works away during the week and rarely contacts me or the kids during that time. There's a happy medium somewhere, I'm sure.

Next time I'd just text as you're about to leave the doctors or hospital saying 'all fine, got antibiotics will tell you what was said once I'm home' or similar to avoid him worrying, it won't take long.

Is he usually a very anxious person or is he being controlling/bullying? If you were taking DS to A&E or you had major concerns then I could understand the issue but for a cold?? DH has taken our kids to medical appointments and yes I might like to know the outcome ASAP but I wouldn't panic about it or send passive aggressive e-mails.

Our 10 month old baby son has had a bad cold and cough last couple of days (cough for 2 weeks before that)....so I took today off work and went to doctor

He's got a bloody nerve trying to guilt trip you!
You both work....you both knew baby was ill.......yet only you were concerned enough to make the last minute decision to take time off work/book dr appointment.....he obviously wasn't worried enough to think it needed doing, needed a discussion or doing it himself yet thinks he can have a go at you

He knows you would have told him immediately if it was serious, but i guess it's easier to deflect his guilt/lack of concern onto you than take a good look at his role as an equally responsible parent.

Tbf I’d have done the same thing he did. Your fears were allayed but you thought you’d just let him worry? Rude

If he was so worried why didn't he give you a quick ring?

Emails aren't always instant esp on phones.

Just be glad he’s interested and move on.

YABU. He texted and e-mailed to ask and no reply. I'd be thinking you'd been admitted to hospital or something if no reply for an hour and a half.

Apologise.