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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was an over reaction about a window?

34 replies

tealandteal · 19/04/2018 14:28

My mum lives about 15 minutes away and I see her regularly. She phoned today and asked if she could come round and I said yes after swimming. She came just as I was putting DS down for his nap so we came downstairs, said hello etc then I took him back upstairs to put him to sleep. I came back down after 5-10 minutes max and my mum said "do you not have any windows open in this house". I explained I had been out and the house was nice and cool anyway. I will open the windows later to let the cooler evening air in but for now they were shut, bar the bathroom window. For relevance downstairs we only have the kitchen window which opens directly onto the road and the patio doors in the lounge. My mum then said she was hot so I asked why she hadn't just said that and opened the patio doors, although there is no breeze. She then said I should have DS window open as it would help him sleep better but I explained that his room looks over the road and the trainline and the noise would wake him. She then said "I just don't understand you' and stormed out. She had only been here for 15 minutes. Did I commit some huge mistake by not having all the windows open?

OP posts:
Aprilmightbemynewname · 19/04/2018 14:30

Bit ott but I agree about dc sleeping better with windows open!

Idontdowindows · 19/04/2018 14:32

If it is hot outside, you keep windows (and preferably curtains) closed during the day.

This is common sense. It keeps the house cool. You can then open windows once the temperature outside is equal to or lower than inside.

Flockoftreegulls · 19/04/2018 14:32

Had something happened before she came round? Was she having a bad day?

KurriKurri · 19/04/2018 14:34

Is she normally snappy and high maintenance If not I would wonder if there is something else going on with her that is making her stressed.

I'd give her a ring in an hour or so and ask if she is OK.

Original poster
tealandteal · 19/04/2018 14:35

Just realised I called it the trainline and not the railway line! The trains come every 30-40 minutes and we are directly opposite the station so it would wake him. We had been swimming and to the park and will walk the dogs later so he does get fresh air.

OP posts:
ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 19/04/2018 14:37

I love my windows being open, but I don't have ds2's open while he's napping either.

MrsTylerJoseph · 19/04/2018 14:38

We never open dds bedroom window as house is on quite a busy road.

sheddooropen · 19/04/2018 15:04

Is she usually like this? If not she maybe having a bad day or there could be an underlying issue. You haven’t done anything wrong if it's cooler in the house you are best keeping all windows and curtains shut to keep the cool in and stop warm air getting in, you could always get a fan if needed and open any windows with a good breeze. I would keep DS window shut if the noise is likely to wake him

Sarahjconnor · 19/04/2018 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drinkingwinefeelingfine · 19/04/2018 15:06

It's not really any of her business though. He's your kid, if you think he's ok with the shut window then that's your prerogative.

Does she normally tell you what to do?

kaytee87 · 19/04/2018 15:09

It's a bit odd. Is she usually like that?
I don't have my ds window open when he sleeps either, he naps deeply for 2 hours every lunchtime.....

BarbaraOcumbungles · 19/04/2018 15:11

I read on here once that there are people who never ever open any windows Confused yanbu for having no windows open in your own home but your mum probably does have a point - it is far nicer with a window open on a day like today.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 19/04/2018 15:14

I doubt it was about the window, unless your mum has form for ridiculous tantrums.
Have a chat and see if she has had some recent bad news or is worried about anything.

Original poster
tealandteal · 19/04/2018 15:30

Yes she is menopausal and she does take offence easily. I will phone her this evening and find out if there is anything underlying.

I usually open the windows in the early and later parts of the day to air out the house. DS is still asleep, wishing I had taken the chance to have a nap a well.

OP posts:
paranoidpammywhammy2 · 19/04/2018 15:36

I have had several windows related incidents with both my mother and mother-in-law.

I think it's a control issue. One wants my windows open and the other wants them closed. They're my bloody windows!

We had child locks on them and all of them were broken when my windows were forced open. I had told her very firmly to leave them alone. She waited until I was busy then did it. I'd hidden the child lock keys but she went ahead. That was the major window incident.

The other granny will demand everyone is cold (no one is - just her) and insist the windows are closed. If someone doesn't obey pdq then she sulks.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 19/04/2018 15:40

I hate having windows open. Beasties and wasps come in if it's nice, and if it's not why have the window open?
Sounds a bit of an odd thing for your mum to take the huff about, though!

ljny · 19/04/2018 15:51

YANBU. It's an over-reaction. Whether you're in the windows open or windows closed camp.

PinkCalluna · 19/04/2018 15:53

It’s your house you can have the windows any way you like.

IHaveBrilloHair · 19/04/2018 15:56

YANBU as such, it's your house, but if I didn't open windows because of noise, they'd never be opened, I've a main road at the front and a train line at the back.

camelliasinensis · 19/04/2018 15:59

Massive over-reaction, YANBU

boxyfingo · 19/04/2018 16:01

It could be the warm weather. It makes people go a bit funny!

MyKingdomForBrie · 19/04/2018 16:02

Yep really odd over reaction.

GnotherGnu · 19/04/2018 16:07

I don't follow the logic of keeping the windows closed when it is hot. So far as I'm concerned, you really need the air movement coming into and out of the windows, otherwise rooms can get very frowsty.

Mxyzptlk · 19/04/2018 16:09

I had told her very firmly to leave them alone. She waited until I was busy then did it.

Jeezo! That sounds like toddler behaviour, not a grown adult.

OP, my money's on menopausal effects and/or something else bothering your mum, not just the windows.

Outlookmainlyfair · 19/04/2018 16:09

I can’t see ho w she could take offence from that!
Good luck untangling. Try to not apologise, as you have done nothing offensive.