DH groping

[Trapped19]

We are separating and unfortunately still living together until I find a place to rent, I think in about 6 months time. It was ok living together in the beginning but it’s really difficult now, I can’t take it anymore. Every time he’s near me he has to grope my boobs or bum. I just feel like a piece of meat when he’s groping me, squeezing my boobs and bum. I’ve shouted at him and told him firmly I don’t like it and he should stop, he keeps saying he knows it’s wrong but says he can’t help himself because he finds me attractive . I can’t walk past him in the house without him groping me, it’s gone to the point now where I can’t even bend down to pick something up without him touching my bum. It doesn’t help either that he’s home all and I mean ALL DAY, he doesn’t work at the moment and I work from home. He will also try and hug me, even though I’m pulling away to avoid his kiss he will still continue to kiss and hug me. He has twice held my face between his hands so I couldn’t move even though I was trying and forced a kiss. I have no where to go and I feel so trapped and sad, I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. He does it in front of the children aswell. Not an hour goes by that he doesn’t touch me. I’m at the end of my tether , I can’t take this anymore .

Does he know you're separating? It sounds like he doesn't respect you at all if he continues to make unwanted advances when the relationship is over. You need to sit him down and be very clear that it is completely over and you do not want him to touch you at all.

Is there any way you can leave sooner? Or why can't he go? You need to get out of this situation OP because it sounds like he isn't taking you seriously.

Kick him hard, run the sole of your shoe down his shin or call the police and have him removed. He is sexually assaulting you.

Op you need to phone the police that is sexual assault.
No means no.

Tell him not to. Keep a record of it. Record him on your phone and write a written note every time he touches you without consent. At the end of one day say here is the evidence of your criminal assaults. if you do it again tomorrow I will report it to the police and have you excluded from the property by way of a non molestation order, sunny Jim.

What’s stopping you from finding a place to rent sooner than 6 months?
So is he in denial about the break up? It sounds like he is trying to press your buttons
If he doesn’t stop, call the police.

You are not a couple, you’ve repeatedly asked him not to touch you and he will not comply. Call the police and have him removed, then get to a lawyer and get some kind of order so that he cannot approach you.
Can’t help himself my fucking arse.

He is sexually assulting you. Next time he does it, call the police, have him removed from the house and get a non-molestation order. Please do not put up and shut up for the next 6 months when you are being assaulted on a daily basis!!

he keeps saying he knows it’s wrong but says he can’t help himself because he finds me attractive

That's a rapist's excuse! A firm knee to the balls should sort him out. If he protests tell him you couldn't help yourself, you find him so sickening

Ring the police, it’s sexual assault x

For what it’s worth if my DP kept groping me when I’d asked him not to, I’d class that as sexual assault (he wouldn’t and doesn’t grope me). This man is your ex partner, he has no right to touch you at all, you’ve explicitly asked him not to, and yet he continues. He’s a dick.

Speak to the police.

Tell them exactly what you've said in your OP and ask them to help you as you are being constantly sexually assaulted, and in front of your children too.

They may be able to issue an order or even remove him from the property.

Tell him you will ring the police the next time he tries to do that. Then follow through with that and actually ring them if he does it again. That is sexual assault its not some kind of joke. He clearly needs an external person like a police officer to tell him this to his face.

Do you think he's trying to win you round so that you can try again? Did he do this before or is this new?

Sounds like he's hoping you will give in and things will go ok again, either that or he's happily assaulting you.
Clearly the fact you're separating is not real to him and the boundary isn't clear. You need to leave or he does.

He is sexually assaulting you. How long until he rapes you? Please call the police.

It's assault!!! Make a record of everything you can think of it should be enough to get a non-molestation order surely?

Have you spoken to Woman's Aid, a refuge is an option for you

he keeps saying he knows it’s wrong but says he can’t help himself because he finds me attractive

He is sexually assaulting you. He wouldn't do this (hopefully, maybe he would by the sounds of it) to a woman walking down the street. Phone the police and report him! Do you really want your children seeing his behaviour? DDs will grow up to think it is normal to be abused, and to stay quiet when it does happen, or DSs will think its ok to sexually assault people. I'm sorry you're going through this

I’ve sat down with him and we’ve spoken about everything and agreed to separate, so this is not him trying to win me back. He is fully aware of the separation and has agreed to it, took him some time but he finally agrees that we cannot be together. Even though he blames me for the breakdown of the marriage and everything else, but that’s another story. He says things like it’s because he finds me so attractive, because he’s horny and I’m “ the only woman around”, and if he was with someone new he wouldn’t be like this. I feel so violated, there are times where I stay out as long as I can to avoid this. Thank you for your replies.

I'd be tempted to tell him that every time he assaults me going forward i'll do the same back, and give him a good hard pinch. Every.single.time.

what a pig.

I have to say I would be tempted to pinch or kick/grab his balls hard and tell him if he does it again you will call the police

He sounds gross. Kick him out.

It's assault. Call the police.

Echoing what everyone else has said about this being sexual assault. And he's blaming you for it, I see.

Document all the times he touches you tomorrow, and all the times you tell him not to do it. Then take that information to the police and let them deal with him. This is not to be tolerated.

Initially I thought he was just being very dense and it was a clumsy immature way of trying to win you back.

Your second post however shows he's using an element of verbal abuse and I now feel in that light his physical groping is abuse too.

Would you be prepared to warn him that if he continues you will go to the police and file a complaint?

Also if you have kids, and they are witnessing this, that is unacceptable for them to witness too.

So sorry to hear this op. No wonder it makes you sad. Would you consider contacting women's aid? Domestic abuse is about control and sexual abuse as well as physical abuse. They would offer support to talk about your options and get your head straight. This happening in front of your kids is also not ok for their healthy development.