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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are playgroups absolutely dreadful?

49 replies

MummyHLondon · 18/04/2018 13:31

Hi

I've been going to playgroups / baby classes for a few months with my 15 mths old daughter, after not going for more than 10 years (my sons are 12 and 13).
I was working full time with them and now spend all my time with DD, which is a blessing.

So yes AIBU to absolutely dislike playgroups and find that they are full of parents who either look pretty sad, bored or judgemental??
I still enjoy going to them if that makes sense as DD loves them so much and I take every minute with her as a blessing but was wondering if I am the only one to feel like this? Smile

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 18/04/2018 13:42

I go to loads of playgroups (well, about 5 a week) and I've made some really good friends through them.
What are you hoping to get out of going to playgroup?

Mydoghatesthebath · 18/04/2018 13:44

Depends why you go. I take my grandson so he can play I am not looking to make friends myself.

jamoncrumpets · 18/04/2018 13:45

I went to everything at the start with DS and found it stressful. By the time he was a year/18 mths we found one group we liked, and went twice a week. The rest of the time he just tagged along with me and we did little trips as a duo.

Fruitcorner123 · 18/04/2018 13:47

I like them but mainly because my children do its harder when you have no adults to chat to.

Organised classes are the best but obviously the most expensive.

Witchend · 18/04/2018 13:48

I haven't found that but I can say with certainty that any playgroup you have been to has had at least one parent who was judgemental.

LoniceraJaponica · 18/04/2018 13:49

Some are and some aren't. Please don't tar them all with the same brush Hmm

The first one I took DD to was cliquey. The second one wasn't. I made friends at the second one (I am not from round here so I was looking for friendship for me as well as DD). Nearly 15 years on I am still friends with them.

bigKiteFlying · 18/04/2018 13:51

I made some great friends through some groups - others I found weren't as welcoming - though I found that could change with time as people move on or start attending.

I found them a cheap way of getting out the house, giving my children access to greater range or toys that we could provide at home and if I was lucky a chat with another adult if not an hour to focus on my children and not get upset at stuff needing doing in the house.

So I loved them.

kaleidapop · 18/04/2018 13:51

My dd was 18m when my ds was born and I could not have got through that first winter without those playgroups that cost like £2 in Church halls.

The weather was crap and I don't drive so how else could I let the toddler burn off some energy?
Also they are cheap.
I wasn't looking to make friends but did end up having some nice chats with other mums and the volunteers were always so lovely.

Amanduh · 18/04/2018 13:52

You’re obviously going to the wrong playgroups. We go to two and they’re brilliant. Never seen anyone look sad or bored! Kids play, mums join in and chat.

hibbledibble · 18/04/2018 13:52

Op I disagree with you.

Maybe you need to go to a different playgroup.

Some are a lot more friendly than others. I found one I love, and have been going for years and now help run it.

Happyandshiney · 18/04/2018 13:53

I always enjoyed mother and baby groups.

The people there are just like any other random group of people thought some happy some not, some nice some not.

Perhaps try to engage in a cheerful way with them and you will find that the sad and bored people might feel better and the apparently judgemental person might just be feeling insecure.

People are rarely caricatures, no one is only one thing.

Get to know them, be kind.

Mydoghatesthebath · 18/04/2018 13:59

Rhythm time is ace Grin

TeenTimesTwo · 18/04/2018 13:59

I tried 3 or 4 different groups with DD2 when she was a toddler and then stayed with the one I felt most comfortable with.

DoJo · 18/04/2018 14:03

they are full of parents who either look pretty sad, bored or judgemental??

You have written off all playgroups on the grounds that you think the people at the ones you have been to look judgmental? That is one of the most bizarre reasons for doing anything I have ever heard!

mancmummy1414 · 18/04/2018 14:16

We love them (the crappy ones in church halls that is) I’ve found them to be extremely helpful in both me and my son making friends, we go o one every morning pretty much, breaks the day up.
The expensive organised ones however, full of judgemental people!

Cockmagic · 18/04/2018 14:20

YOU sound judgemental.

Yes they may be bored, but also maybe tired, depressed?

You come across as quite high and mighty.

Have you tried saying hello?

corcaithecat · 18/04/2018 14:41

Playgroups are usually run by volunteers so if they're not being well run, rather than just having moan on here, why not volunteer to help?
I found a lovely village one when my DS was young and I ended up joining the committee and helping raise funds, set up the room, pack away etc.

AuntLydia · 18/04/2018 14:44

You are certainly in good company. There is a thread like this at least once a week on mumsnet. I like them, I've only been to a couple of shit ones, most have been good. Seems a bit picky to hate them because the parents look sad or bored though!

Hillarious · 18/04/2018 14:47

Witchend Grin

InDubiousBattle · 18/04/2018 14:53

YABU I've been to many, many play groups/toddler groups/classes etc over the last 4.5 years and have found them to be great for the most part. Not every single one is my cup of tea but I've been to some really enjoyable ones and made some good friends.

'Full' of parents who are all sad, tired and judgmental? Really?

QuiteLikely5 · 18/04/2018 14:55

Which category do you fall into OP?

Drycleanonly7 · 18/04/2018 14:55

I tried a few and stuck with one. Lots of younger mums there and I felt a bit out of place but it was well run by volunteers. They put in an amazing effort. Different toys to ours at home and helped with my sanity for a bit. The organisers gave us a cup of tea and a friendly approach for 50p. Am really grateful I had that group to go to.

Original poster
MummyHLondon · 18/04/2018 15:03

Maybe it's different depending on where you live... for a start ours are around £6/9 not £2.
Or maybe everybody is different.

OP posts:
GythaEsmeMagrat · 18/04/2018 15:07

I go out to church playgroups about twice a week, I suffered v badly with PND and it really helps to get out of the house every morning and spend time around cup-of-tea-providing adults. DD is 18 months. We also do a couple of organised classes, sometimes go to soft play or children's centre. I haven't made close friends but there's always someone I know to have a chat to. It's good for DD as we don't have any young relatives for her to play with nearby.

It helps the daily routine too: morning activity out of the house, lunch, nap for a couple of minutes hours...

kaleidapop · 18/04/2018 15:10

£6-9? Wtf.

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