AIBU or are playgroups absolutely dreadful?

[MummyHLondon]

Hi

I've been going to playgroups / baby classes for a few months with my 15 mths old daughter, after not going for more than 10 years (my sons are 12 and 13).
I was working full time with them and now spend all my time with DD, which is a blessing.

So yes AIBU to absolutely dislike playgroups and find that they are full of parents who either look pretty sad, bored or judgemental??
I still enjoy going to them if that makes sense as DD loves them so much and I take every minute with her as a blessing but was wondering if I am the only one to feel like this?

Mostly hated them. Never found a really excellent one.

Maybe you need to try a different playgroup, I’ve made a brilliant group of friends through mine and we’re all still in touch after going back to work. Or maybe you’re so busy judging all the bored and sad looking mums you’re just not coming across as very friendly.

I liked them. I have met some nice women in some of them, in others where I didn't bond with anyone I used to just sit on my phone or occasionally engage with my DD

I found them great! DS made friends, I made friends, and now he's 3 we have people to do stuff with on my non-work days. And, especially in the early days, it got me out and about and into a routine.

I never went to any that cost more than £1 or £2 though - maybe try the more basic ones and Children's Centre ones? Those are generally friendly.

Good point crumble82 - maybe the parents are looking sad because they can tell the OP is judging them...

I took DS to quite a few different ones when he was little. One I never went back to, some I didn't care for but stuck out because he liked them, and one or two were really nice.
It was a bit of an issue for me to make friends in the first year or so of going, because absolutely everyone else was a) at least 15 years younger than me and b) not single, and a lot of them already knew each other really well. But I did find, after a while, that there were one or two mums I actually had stuff in common with, and most of the rest were basically OK and not unfriendly.

The one I really didn't like and never made more than a single visit to was simply not aimed at me: everyone else was about 15 and it consisted of kids at one end of the room with a 'play leader' and basket weaving and 'educational' stuff for the teen mums at the other end. I think the HV had sent me and DS along there by way of a prank or something.

I never liked playgroups (neither did either DS), but there we usually did some kind of organised baby/toddler class 4 x a week so I think when DS1 was little we did now-defunct gymboree, baby swimming, baby sensory, mummy and baby yoga, little kickers, rugby tots when they were older.

I prefer the organised ones as I like routine! and also its easier to get to know the other mums when its the same people going each week. I found playgroups too disorganised and loud.

I went to a couple with a friend, found them horrendous! Some mums were just there to chat rather than watch what their child was doing (one just started walking baby stood on friends small baby's arm!) We realised pretty quickly that we (& the babies) can have just as much fun at the park with a picnic/at each others homes.

They are purely there to make us feel like insecure spotty teenagers who don’t hang out with the cool kids!
It doesn’t matter if you breastfeed Kinney whist playing games with little jimmy & reading to little Janey...
it doesn’t matter if you buy the latest Clark’s comfy fucking horrible summer sandals, you will never be as in the in crowd as the eco vegan Birkenstock lady...
the playgroups are purely made to make you feel like an outsider 3 headed freak in my opinion anyway

I like them - it gets DD out of the house and entertained, I know a couple of mums that I’m on chatting terms with, I get a coffee and a biscuit... all good! We go to two and one is more cliquey than the other, but DD enjoys it which is the main thing.

They are for the child really not the mum. Maybe mum had been up all night etc! I have been to loads abd loads, usually the leader filtered down... Ie cliquey or friendly etc. But it's for the dc

Bloody hell, I'd be looking sad if I paid £6 a child for a Playgroup! Can't say I've noticed anything sinister going on in any of them either. No in crowd. Just a bunch of parents/guardians looking for something cheap to do with their toddlers. No particular type of person that I've noticed.

I really struggled with playgroups with DC2 & 3 - went to a fair few and found them horribly cliquey. The only people who spoke to me were the ladies running the groups. Self referred to Home Start, and their group was the only one where I didn't feel really excluded by parents. First time round, I went to a few lovely groups - we lived in a different town then, and I guess the area really makes a difference.

I probably look a bit bored but doesn’t mean I don’t think they’re great. It uses up the day. Toddler has a fun time, I don’t have to think of activities or get my house messy, I get a hot cup of tea and time to cuddle the baby. Sometimes there are nice people to chat to. I am so so grateful to the volunteers that run them.

My two are teens now but back when they were tiny we went to a playgroup almost every day.

I liked some more than others of course, but the girls enjoyed them and I made some life long friends.

I think groups can be good to help you get out of the house and I know they helped me with my PND.

Maybe try a few and see how you feel.

My two are teens now but back when they were tiny we went to a playgroup almost every day.

I liked some more than others of course, but the girls enjoyed them and I made some life long friends.

I think groups can be good to help you get out of the house and I know they helped me with my PND.

Maybe try a few and see how you feel.

I never liked playgroups (neither did either DS), but there we usually did some kind of organised baby/toddler class 4 x a week so I think when DS1 was little we did now-defunct gymboree, baby swimming, baby sensory, mummy and baby yoga, little kickers, rugby tots when they were older

That's great if you have the money to do all that stuff but I couldn't afford to spend all that on classes whilst on maternity.

They were (and still are) vital for me. I didn't have friends with young babies when we lived in London - our local children's centre was a lifesaver. I honestly think I would have slid in to PND if I hadn't of had the support I got from the other mums and people who worked there.

We moved to a new area when DS was 11 months. I've found 2 toddler groups, both run by volunteers, which I like. They are £1-2, DS gets to run around and play with new (to him) toys and I get a tea and a biscuit.

I'll always make an effort to be friendly but sometimes I've been so tired I've only got the energy to make sure DS doesn't get himself in to trouble. It may just be sheer tiredness for some mums that comes across as being unsociable.

I hate them. Every single one I have ever been to everyone sort of clams up but feels compelled to male awkward conversation anyway. Why? Ffs. Just let the toddlers "play" and take the opportunity to have tea and biscuits relatively undisturbed.

I find them a blessing, personally.

Depends on the group. I always found that after the first few sessions in a term like attracted like.

I go to a group and it's lovely. Fab volunteers and a whole bunch of normal everyday mums who enjoy it. Lucky me. It also has fab cake 😁

The one I took my DD to many years ago (mid 80s) was lovely. But when I took my DGD along to the one that her Dmum had enrolled with,it was a different story. It was held in a church hall,and although the advertising literature said that anyone of any faith,or no faith,was welcome,I found it to be rather religion based. One of the organisers was a pastor,and although he was a very nice man,my Ddaughter and I did our utmost to avoid being 'caught' by him,as he invariably started talking about God and Jesus and strongly hinting that we should attend the church services on Sunday. As atheists,this made my Ddaughter and I feel uncomfortable. I just wish that they would keep religion out of playgroups.

I tried a great many, 5 in total. I settled in one and In the end helped run it for 4 years until my youngest was at school.

It was a lovely way to meet and welcome mums. We especially encouraged mums on maternity leave who had not yet had their babies. It helps form bonds and friendships with local mums at the time you need it most.

We charged 50p per child and tea, coffee and cake, squash and fruit were provided. Usually home made and recipes swapped.

We ran an activity each week supervised by a parent with older preschool children. All parents would help and I can say, I made my closest friends at this group.

The same children attended the local school and the bonds made carried through. In fact my tiny 'baby' is now an adult and I still see many of the group regularly for coffee.