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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not put the blame on Ant McParlin's mum?

53 replies

poppetpet · 17/04/2018 18:19

I was having a conversation the other day with my friend and she more or less said how could Ant McParlin's mum have got in the car with him when he was over the limit. Having grown up in a household with an alcoholic mother and father I can definitely see how this could happen. People who drink are devious and lie to your face about having had a drink - I know this only too well. If Ant's mum had asked him if he had been drinking he would have flat out denied it. From my own experience you want to think the best of people and try and convince yourself you are wrong - in fact in the past I was made to feel like the bad one by both my parents and also my extended family - I was more or less told I was making things up to cause trouble (which I definitely wasn't). Anyone else have this experience?

OP posts:
Treaclepie19 · 17/04/2018 18:20

I completely agree.
An alcoholic can easily hide the fact they've been drinking and are masters at lying.

Dangerousmonkey · 17/04/2018 18:21

YANBU. Alchohics are not even honest with themselves.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 17/04/2018 18:23

Agree. He's a gown arse man - drink driving is entirely on him!

Spudlet · 17/04/2018 18:23

I've been quite shocked by the number of posts I've seen on here blaming her - and I haven't even gone out of my way to read the threads, these are just ones I've seen from skimming the first page of one or two.

He's a grown man - why on earth should his mother be blamed?

IAmWonkoTheSane · 17/04/2018 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/04/2018 18:25

Absolutely not, why are Mums always blamed?

Sarsparella · 17/04/2018 18:26

I agree it’s his fault entirely but in the photos he looks absolutely smashed, I’m just shocked she didn’t notice

Aprilmightbemynewname · 17/04/2018 18:26

My ex worked in a pub and always smelled of drink tbh.
When he tried to kill us driving along the central reservation I hadn't known he was pissed..
Maybe he regularly stunk and she took it as normal.

Original poster
poppetpet · 17/04/2018 18:33

I just know from experience that you end up thinking you are going mad and alcoholics can turn it on you and fall out with you for accusing them of drinking - this has happened to me. It's so difficult if someone has been sober for a while and then have a relapse because they will deny it to the hilt.

OP posts:
DontOpenDeadInside · 17/04/2018 18:40

Does anyone know how much over the limit he was? Not been following it.

Original poster
poppetpet · 17/04/2018 18:44

He was twice the English drink driving limit although I'm not sure how much that equates to actually drinking.

OP posts:
AngelsSins · 17/04/2018 18:50

I agree it’s his fault entirely but in the photos he looks absolutely smashed, I’m just shocked she didn’t notice

Don't forget though, the press would have taken hundreds of photos of him and cherry picked the ones of him looking most drunk to illustrate the story.

Samcro · 17/04/2018 18:52

Yanbu
I don't get why its the woman's fault when a man does something wrong.
Weird

thisisreallyfunny · 17/04/2018 18:55

I am not blaming her - I am naive as I don't drink - but could she not smell the alcohol on him?

Slapbetcommissioner · 17/04/2018 18:56

I've seen people all over the media, social media and forums blaming his mum and wife and posts how they hope he gets the help he needs and his career shouldn't suffer Confused

Imbluedabadee · 17/04/2018 18:57

This is not relevant at all but why was she in the back and not the passenger seat?

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/04/2018 18:58

You could make anyone look anything if you took that many photos.
Maybe his Mum knew, maybe she didn't, either way, it still is not her fault.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 17/04/2018 18:58

He got in the car and drove it so it’s all on him. But.... she must have smelt it?? Seen his bloodshot eyes??

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 17/04/2018 19:04

If he was twice the limit, I think that's about 6 units. That amount would certainly make anyone incapable of driving safely but would not make them appear pissed. It's entirely on him.

Emily7708 · 17/04/2018 19:05

She was in the back with a dog apparently.

I used to have an alcoholic sibling, for starters they are such liars they would swear on their own mother’s life that they hadn’t touched a drop. Also, when you are a regular heavy drinker, being twice the drink drive limit wouldn’t even register as them being even slightly tipsy.

Imbluedabadee · 17/04/2018 19:06

There was video footage of him stumbling out of the car very clearly pissed, I'm surprised he was only double the limit! Having said that no it is not his mum's fault, he is an adult responsible for his own actions

Imbluedabadee · 17/04/2018 19:07

Thanks Emily that makes sense

Sirzy · 17/04/2018 19:07

If she knew he had been drinking that much then she was stupid to get in the car with him and should have tried to stop him. But that’s an if and we don’t know the details enough to know.

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/04/2018 19:08

This thread is blaming all over again.
"She must have smelled it"
"She must have noticed"
Etc.

abbsisspartacus · 17/04/2018 19:12

I think if she did know she would not have got in the car

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