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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Overgrown Pubic Bush- AIBU to ask him to trim??

58 replies

LiteraryDevil · 17/04/2018 12:55

Just musing to distract myself from endless Paw Patrol....
My ex had REALLY long pubes. About 3 inches long and I found it really unpleasant to have to wade through a huge overgrown bush. He wasn't very well endowed either so the long pubes didn't help and they'd get caught as the odd one grew quite far down his actual penis 😩 Is it unreasonable to ask a bloke to trim? He didn't care what I did with mine but they were tamed into a neat triangle at the front and shaved or waxed underneath. What's the etiquette here for future reference?

OP posts:
RoseWhiteTips · 17/04/2018 13:27

Weird also because as a pp has said he is your “ex”. Why etc etc...Zzzzzzz

Sparklingbrook · 17/04/2018 13:27

This is all putting me right off my Ryvita. Sad

FizzyGreenWater · 17/04/2018 13:27

Hmm, you could always ask. There'sa difference between asking politely whether a person would mind trimming for practical reasons and demanding an entirely new 'look' which basically says 'I want you to look a certain way FOR ME and change your current preferences'.

So, polite request on slight trim for neatness ok, whining about him not being shaved not ok.

BUT then if his reply is 'But they are my best feature!' then you LEAVE IT.

FizzyGreenWater · 17/04/2018 13:28

He looked like a burst mattress and I told him so.

On your first night together? You're a tough date Flossie Grin

DairyisClosed · 17/04/2018 13:29

I was once politely asked to shave along the lines of 'Would you mind if I got a razor and shaved you a bit?' I then said 'Yeah, I keep my hair long fir a reason.' then we just moved on. Just to be clear the relationship was over before it started. It didn't help that we have very different aesthetic preferences (he shaved his chest-yuck!)

HarryLovesDraco · 17/04/2018 13:29

Yes I would definitely ask if he would trim. I'd be nice about it and make it clear it was up to him but that I would prefer going down town if there was less fuzz in the way.

I dated a man who shaved his whole pube area but had a hairy belly and chest so it looked really odd! He was a bit chubby too so the shaved patch just highlighted the chubby hairy belly.
(Nothing at all wrong with a chubby hairy belly but it did look very strange)

Elendon · 17/04/2018 13:31

I don't know what the etiquette is for future reference but your OP made me laugh - as I also had an ex like this but when he met the OW he started to shave it off - it made him look like a turkey!

(I'm guessing he never takes a bath now for fear of floating testicles).

Short and curly is my guess for a future partner.

Original poster
LiteraryDevil · 17/04/2018 13:34

Flossie 😂

Yes I am bored. Why else would I be on MN??

It's a dull, miserable and wet day where I am and Paw Patrol has given way to Peppa Pig so we are off out.

Thanks to Dawn and to those who have given a proper reply so far instead of moaning. You get a choice on what to click on you know Hmm

I'm definitely against getting someone to shave for your own preference. I hated being totally bald for someone and subsequently refused. Just trimmed so you can actually find their dick and not have pubes get stuck in your mouth or the condom would be great.

I might not stay single forever. It's just the last guy has put me off men for many reasons.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 17/04/2018 13:35

If a woman posted saying her new partner said she looked like a burst mattress she'd be told to LTB

Original poster
LiteraryDevil · 17/04/2018 13:37

Ilovesooty I wasn't aware that women had hairy chests??

OP posts:
TeeBee · 17/04/2018 13:41

I would just tell any future partners this story and that would hopefully prompt them to keep it neat down there. Its just basic respect for your partner if you're expecting a bit of action.

OhWhatAWonderfulDay · 17/04/2018 13:47

I personally prefer absolutely no hair on a men except his eyebrows & head

MonsteraDeliciosa · 17/04/2018 13:47

I'd have said that "basic respect for your partner" would be accepting their body hair the way they choose to have it.
The hair removing industry is so huge now: razors, wax, lasers, IPL, depilatory creams etc., making a vast amount of money while we all hobble around with itchy nethers and demand our partners do, too.

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer · 17/04/2018 13:47

Currently bored watching Paw Patrol too.
I'm 35 weeks pregnant and have the full on 70's bush. It's driving me nuts! I just can't ever feel clean. Haven't seen the vag in weeks.... months!
Wibu to scar my DH and ask him to trim it for me? It can't be pretty down there. Has anyone trusted their other half with scissors or a trimmer down there. Worried about losing my labia!

TheMonkeyMummy · 17/04/2018 13:49

3 inches????
Really???

I have never asked DH to keep his in check. I quite like that he is hairy and am not keen on the preened look for a bloke. I keep myself in check (tidy up trim) though.

Original poster
LiteraryDevil · 17/04/2018 13:50

Boofay I did my own including right before I went into labour all 3 times with the help of a mirror but if I'd have had a partner bid have trusted them with my trimmer.

OP posts:
Coveredinbeeeeeeeeeeeees · 17/04/2018 13:53

The outraged responses on women's shaving threads is clearly not replicated when discussing the opposite sex. Comment on mumsnet that you like to shave off all your pubes and you get hysterical shouts of PATRIARCHY! Your husbands a pedo because you'll look like a child!

For the record, y'all can do whatever you like to your pubes. I just thought I'd point out the hypocrisy.

Original poster
LiteraryDevil · 17/04/2018 13:55

Monkeymummy. I kid you not

OP posts:
TeeBee · 17/04/2018 13:56

I love a man's body hair but nobody wants a gob full of it when you're giving a blowjob.

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer · 17/04/2018 13:57

@LiteraryDevil, I don't think I have long enough arms. Or my bump is too big. Either way I struggle when going to the loo! Definitely need help! Long pubes are grim! I don't really care/mind what DH does with his but I just don't feel clean with a full grown bush. Likewise, I don't like the clean shaven look either! Just a neat trim!

Pubes covering a penis does sound like the fella's garden has gone wild though. I'd have jokingly suggested he gets a couple of inches taken off!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 17/04/2018 14:00

Don't get the snarky responses-it's not like the title of the thread doesn't make clear it's going to be about... Hmm
I prefer DH to trim but it's up to him-would hate the full shaved look but again it's not my area to choose what to do with.

RoseWhiteTips · 17/04/2018 14:11

LiteraryDevil

Ilovesooty I wasn't aware that women had hairy chests??

Lol

Original poster
LiteraryDevil · 17/04/2018 14:21

Boofay there was one particular one and my hand got caught on it every time and I just wanted to pull it out! When not erect it was near the end so he must have known it was there. To be honest his general grooming wasn't up to much. He did trim (apparently. I couldn't tell) when I suggested it was a bit wild down there but he said he'd never had any complaints before.

I personally think if there's a lot of oral sex going on then it's a very good thing to keep them trimmed as no one wants a mouth full of wiry pubes.

I like a smattering of chest hair but back and shoulder hair is vile and beards freak me out. I blame Ronald Dahl's The Twits.

OP posts:
OohMavis · 17/04/2018 14:26

he looked like a burst mattress

Grin

I think it's ok to ask. It's then ok for them to say "no".

It does sound a bit of a turn-off, having to neatly part the pubic hair before you.... found anything.

Strugglingtodomybest · 17/04/2018 14:32

I think it's ok to ask, but not to insist.

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