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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that my sister can't blame the doctors.

86 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:17

My sister is 34 and she has been taking ibprophen for the last 16 years she has completely knackered her kidneys to the point that she just spent 2 weeks in hospital she is trying to blame the doctors for it by saying that they should've been checking her. Doctors are only human and they don't always get it right but am pretty sure that they expect people to be clever enough to be careful with what they are taking I probably am being unreasonable but I think my sister needs to take some reasonablilty for whats happened it's her body and she can't blame the doctors for what she choses to put in to it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:41

She's not on any benefits She's works as a team leader in a care home. We can't get much information out of her because none of us knew that she was even back on it until this all happened we thought she hadn't got it back after having her DD we thought she was only taking what was prescribed by the doctors.

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 15/04/2018 22:42

Why do you want to know? It sounds like it's more important to you to prove your dsis is to blame than support her?

If she believes the doctors are to blame she can discuss with them and they will clarify for her, you don't need prove her wrong just support her as she sounds very ill now.

Wolfiefan · 15/04/2018 22:42

Honestly? Stay out of it. She's an adult. Her prescriptions and medications are up to her to manage. You seem rather over involved.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 15/04/2018 22:43

You can't really have an opinion either way as you apparently don't know any of the facts.

SoyDora · 15/04/2018 22:44

If they were prescribed then she’s correct, they should have been monitoring her.
However you don’t seem to have any facts so it’s impossible to comment.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:45

I'm worried that she could be taking other things that we don't know about there was a time when she was that depressed that she was drinking heavily every day and am just hoping that it is just a case of the doctors should've been checked by the doctors and not a case of she's done something silly and taken more than she should've done but she will never admit if she did.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:47

It wasn't long before all this happened that she took a load of tablets and planned to run her car off the road I'd rather it be the doctors fault than to find out that my sister has been doing stupid things with her tablets.

OP posts:
Popc0rn · 15/04/2018 22:49

Tbf I'm a nurse in a hospital and when people get admitted and are asked about medications I'd say roughly 15% of them have absolutely no idea about the names of medications that they're taking, or what they're for or actually do.

"I take a little white pill everyday, think it starts with an A, should be in my notes."

Then get huffy when you explain the GP and hospital notes systems aren't magically linked Hmm.

So yeah, in my view people should take probably take a bit of responsibility for knowing what they're putting in their body everyday, but alot don't. Guessing cos they trust doctors so much maybe.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:50

Wolfiefan I'm over involved because she's my sister and I worry about sorry if that makes me wrong but it's been a very worring 2 weeks for all of us and I can't understand how this has happened to her.

OP posts:
ButternutCrinkleFries · 15/04/2018 22:50

Could she have been taking nurofen plus? That’s got ibuprofen in it and is highly addictive. I don’t understand why else she would have been taking large amounts of ibuprofen for such a long time.

CaptainNelson · 15/04/2018 22:51

Bottom line is, OP, as you seem to know, your sister needs to take responsibility for her own health. It seems like she's avoiding facing up to things, from what you're saying. But whether forcing that issue now is going to help is another question. She's probably scared and in shock and so now might be a better time to support her, and then try to talk to her about this when things have calmed down a bit. Good luck

Weezol · 15/04/2018 22:52

If she's managed to do that much damage I'd be very surprised if she's been staying within prescribed limits. It sounds like there's an awful lot going on with her, and if you don't have a clear picture there's not much advice can be offered.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:52

Thank you popc0rn I take tablets but I know exactly what they are for and what they do and I make sure I follow the instructions I also Google any new tablets before I take them.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/04/2018 22:53

Well she isn't sharing the details of whether they've been prescribed or not. She clearly doesn't want you to know.
Her health concerns are worrying but what pills she chooses to take really isn't your concern. Sister or not.
None of us knew!
We!
It's not your business or your responsibility. I have no ideas what medication my sister might be on and it's none of my business. If she's unwell I would be supportive and offer a shoulder to cry on etc. but she's a grown up with responsibility for her own health. Not your child.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 15/04/2018 22:55

Thank you everyone we really don't know what she's been doing or taking all we know is what she was told by the hospital so for all we know she could've been mixing her drugs or anything we really have no idea because none of us even knew she back on the ibprophen until all this happened so we have no clue what else she could've been taking.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 15/04/2018 22:55

Why would a GP prescribe a young, fit patient ibuprofen? It's unlikely to be on prescription.
It's entirely on your sister, sorry to sound harsh. Even if her GP did prescribe, she's gone against GP advice as well as the patient information that comes with any medication.
She only has herself to blame for her mistake.
Glad to hear she's on the mend. But I hope she's learned that she must stick to proper doses for ANY medication.

Wolfiefan · 15/04/2018 22:57

We don't know.
Why should you. Seriously? Take a step back.

GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 22:58

If the doctors really did know, she probably has a point, especially if it was prescribed. However, I'd question whether they knew, or how much they knew. It's difficult to believe that, if she was completely upfront, no doctor ever told her to stop or looked for an alternative.

Idontdowindows · 15/04/2018 22:59

So you haven't a clue about what is going on, yet you think your sister is to blame.

Nice.

Weedsnseeds1 · 15/04/2018 23:03

Ex work colleague of mine used to munch Ibuprofen tablets like sweets.
If we went to the supermarket with me at lunchtime, she'd have a couple of packs in her basket along with her sandwich and even asked me to buy another couple of packs as the supermarket wouldn't allow more than two per person.
On the odd occasion when I went in the shop after work, she'd be buying another couple of packs.
They certainly seem at least mentally addictive if not physically.

Flisspaps · 15/04/2018 23:04

You know exactly what your medication is and google it every time you take a new one but insist on spelling ibuprofen wrong every single time 😩

Gemini69 · 15/04/2018 23:05

do you trust her honesty OP Hmm

lougle · 15/04/2018 23:05

If they were prescribed by a doctor, then they should have been checking her kidney function because ibuprofen is nephrotoxic. But it would be unusual to be prescribed ibuprofen for 16 years, I would think.

Weezol · 15/04/2018 23:07

Shootfirst You could raise a 'concern for welfare' with her GP. They won't discuss any aspects of her care or history with you, but if you think things you are aware of (MH, suicidal ideation, alcohol use) are not things she has been open with the GP about,telling the practice could help the GP get a better idea of what's contributing to her problems.

Are social sevices involved with her or her child? Is she gettimg any professional support?

Sadly, until she starts being honest with the doctors, there's only so much they can do.

Popc0rn I have a chronic illness so I have had lots of inpatient treatment. Overheard this (roughly from memory)

Patient 'I take the blue one in the morning, and the white ones for the rest if the day'
Nurse 'Okay. Do you know what the blue one is for?'
P 'Because I'm poorly'
N 'Do you know why you take it?'
P 'Because the doctor says I should'
N 'so you're not sure what the blue one is for?'
P 'It's for the mornings, I told you that already. Are sure you're qualified to be asking all this?'

That nurse deserved a medal.

IntoTheFloodAgain · 15/04/2018 23:08

Isn’t it possible that the heavy drinking (possiblly alongside pills?) could have caused some damage to her kidneys too?

I do agree that people should take responsibility for what they take, even if it is prescribed.

However you keep mentioning none of you knew she was back on ibuprofen. Is there a reason that you’d liked to have known? ie was she addicted, tried to OD that sort of thing?

I get from your posts that you’re worried about her but I’m not sure exactly why.