BIL’s dogs shitting in our garden AIBU?

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

Myself, OH and our DC’s live on an ex farm (now just 2 barn conversions) OH’s ‘D’B and his OH live in the other barn conversion (inhereited from MIL).

We have a little bit of garden in front of our house and the DC’s have a slide, see saw and a small sandpit. BIL and his OH can only access their house via our garden and as a result, act as though they own it.

As far as we’re concerned, they the kings of the castle and we’re peasants. They’re incredibly stuck up, rude and obnoxious. BIL’s OH has openly admitted to hating children and I’m beginning to think that ours are no exception.

With the weather finally improving the DC’s wanted to play outside on their toys so I let them out and watched them from the kitchen window. 5 minutes later DD 2 comes in crying, she’s fallen over in dog shit. We had ‘talks’ over their dogs shitting in our garden a couple of years ago which seemed to resolve things (after a major tantrum off his GF) I cleaned DD up and walked round the garden and there a particular place that I hadn’t noticed with absolutely loads of the stuff.

Anyway, we were coming out of the house earlier and BIL walked past, DD shouts at him ‘ you need to pick your dog poo up.’ And he retaliated by saying ‘and you need to pick your sweet wrappers up that are outside your door.’ I’ve looked and looked and funnily enough can’t see any sweet wrappers. Reminded BIL that dog faeces can cause blindness and in relation to that, the (very) odd sweetie wrapper kind of pales into comparison. He kindly told me to fuck off.

We manage to avoid each other pretty well most of the time but every now and again something like this will read it’s head. Instead of taking it on the chin and doing something about it, they get defensive and it’s al tit for tat.

AIBU?

I’d get lots of sweet wrappers and (using gloves obviously) make little sweets out of their dogs turds. Then I’d put them in a jaunty bag and leave on their front door with a tag saying “a peace offering, sweeties”

The shit will really hit the fan then.

You will need to dettol your hands afterwards but it will be worth it

They are horrible.

In all truth the whole situation sounds a right dig’s dinner / toilet. You’ll never be able to sell with the current access arrangement.

I would see a solicitor and see if you can have it split into two seperate land deeds and pay whatever it costs to have a seperate access for them.

eatmycheese I’m literally howling with laughter! I love it!

Wish my mind worked this way!

I'd move! However your daughter shouting at them was rude and I'm not surprised that they got defensive, it would have been better if you had talked the problems over as adults.
!

Put it back through their letterbox.

If they’re so unreasonable and won’t be fair then you’ll either have to put up with it or do something (create a separate entrance, block off your garden so they can’t use it).

What does your DH do? Could he talk to them?

You need to get your DH to sort this out

Tell them access from another angle is not a choice it's got to happen

The little girl who landed in dog shit was rude, redhelen? Can you blame her? Anyway her uncle was ruder by telling both her (a child!) and her mother to fuck off.

The brother and his partner sound vile and disgusting. I’d be leaving what their dog has done on their door step every single time they do this but be prepared they’re so stupid and nasty it’ll probably mean war.

Other than that, building a path that is fenced off from the rest of your garden sounds a good idea that way their dog can’t get on your property and shit all over it.

Well I wouldn’t buy a house with this access for anything so you won’t be able to sell it as is. This needs sorting properly so you may as well get some advice to sort out their access without using your garden.

To be honest you all sound a bit childish and your dd shouldn’t have shouted at her uncle if s kid shouted at me I wouldn’t be impressed either.

Putting the shit in their door etc is childish snd will up the ante just get it sorted properly.

Did your in laws build the barn conversions for you both? I Exocet they assumed brothers would get on. What does your dh think? Doesn’t he speak to his brother? Really who lives in this sort of tit for tat nonsense.

You need a permanent solution, do all of the suggestions above. Change the access, add sprinklers. leave the pile of dog shit at the door and report them to the cancel.

Install a camera (you should do this anyway with hostile neighbours) and collect evidence.

Shame they are so awful. I would consider moving. I wouldn't want my dc growing up with all this bad feeling every time they played outside.

council

can i ask why your dc shouted at him? bit rude wasnt it?

you need to improve your relationship with your bil

Your DH needs to sort it out, if I had fallen in shit I’d be shouting at my uncle as well

He sounds like an arsehole. I think I would ask them to come and pick up all the poo and keep asking every time it happens. If they don’t respond I’d shovel it to their front door.

You need to get proper access sorted or you’ll never be able to sell.

Hold on are people really having a go at the child for shouting “you need to pick your dog poo up”
Yeah that’s the biggest issue and the child was completely right

Have you posted about them before ? Apologies if you haven't but this rings a bell. Any chance of selling up and moving on - they sound like proper pains in the arse and it must be hell living with conflict from them on your doorstep.

Remember op if you do want to sell all reported neighbour disputes have to be reported to any future buyers.

You will be stuck there unless you sort out boundary issues. Just do it.

Not having a go at the child but I would be suorised if any of mine had shouted such like to an adult. It obviously stems from the anger between the adults and isn’t modelling good behaviour.

Agree letting the dog poo there isn’t good but neither would be throwing it at the bils door.

No one here is setting the children good examples really are they? Boundary needs sorting and those brothers need to talk

Jeyes fluid (unless it has been modified by Gov law) is very strong smelling antiseptic/cleaner. That smell should discourage the dog. Sprinkle round dog pooing area can't believe a dogwould want to go near it. DCs mustn't play with it.It would kill grass.

Put a fence round your garden but not the access path, put a gate with a lock in the fence opposite your door. That should keep them and their dog out of your garden.

Either that or pay for the new access path yourself but do it in such a way that your garden and access is fenced off and lock the gate.

They'll never pay for it, or even part of it, because the access they have now suits them just fine as they have a convenient toilet for their dog. You want it changing, which is quite understandable, so you'll have to pay for it.

If he's telling you to fuck off then the dog shit is just a symptom of the main problem.

I honestly would do anything to move away in these circumstances. I couldn't imagine a moments enjoyment in my home with neighbours like that.

I laughed at eat my cheese's suggestion, except the smell is too revolting to do that!

I would be getting the pathway fenced off so you have separate entrances. In the meantime buy DH one of those orange DIY buckets from B&Q, a pair of rubber gloves, 2 child's spades for the beach. Put water in the bucket and get him to pick up poo and flush down the loo. Then clean and disinfect the grass with diluted Jeyes fluid. Be careful with Jeyes as it can affect cats.

Dog poo stinks in bins even when bagged so flushing down the loo is better. Before dog waste bins were everywhere I would empty dog bags down the toilet and dispose of empty dog bag in bin and this greatly reduced the smell.

I don’t actually think my DD was being rude. She told him he needed to pick up his dog poo after falling over in it, seeing as though he told her to ‘bugger off’ the other day too. For what it’s worth I did have a word with her afterwards and told her that I was going to speak to him/them about it and if she ever asks again she has to use her manners and say please. We’ve tried to improve relationships with them both but they’re impossible! Nothing is ever good enough and they constantly find stupid, petty little things to complain about.

they might be stupid and petty in your opinion - i think you need some family mediation tbh.
i bet the mil would be very sad about the state of the brothers relationship

I am of the return the stuff brigade - and it wouldn't be in bloody bags either. Nice tidy pile by the door I think