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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday stuff

28 replies

Polly345 · 15/04/2018 17:25

In a couple of weeks time I will be on holiday. While I am away it will be my birthday and a 'big' one - my Dad knows I will be away almost a week before my birthday.
The usual routine - is he will phone on my birthday and suggest we go out - he doesn't live nearby. Am I being unreasonable to think that if he is going to send a card he should send it before my birthday? I know this probably does sound unreasonable - but to me 'birthday' cards are just that - after the event is another thing altogether.
His partner likes to remind me that 'birthdays' are not a 'thing' - so I don't really have any great expectations!

OP posts:
digestOfDigest · 15/04/2018 17:30

Your AIBU is that you want to receive a birthday card before your birthday so you can take it away with you?

By "big one" I assume you mean it's your 18th?

arethereanyleftatall · 15/04/2018 17:36

What's the aibu?

If you're after thoughts on this, I wouldn't have given any head space to this whatsoever, and wouldn't care if I didn't get a card, wouldn't notice particularly.

Isadora2007 · 15/04/2018 17:38

By "big one" I assume you mean it's your 18th?

😂😂😂😂

Original poster
Polly345 · 15/04/2018 17:53

A 'zero' birthday

OP posts:
Yarboosucks · 15/04/2018 18:00

Ah! Happy approaching tenth birthday. That is the only logical explanation for this post

Pimpernell182 · 15/04/2018 18:02

Are you one of those people who always takes the day (if not the week!) off work for your birthday and makes big plans for a celebration? Honestly, most adults cease and desist with the need for fanfare after 21. But there are a significant minority who feel wounded if there isn't a fuss. It sounds like this is you so your dad should probably know this by now. However, his partner is right. Grown adults need to remember that the world doesn't stop for their birthday.

CloudCaptain · 15/04/2018 18:03

Birthdays are a thing. Well perhaps just phone or meet your Dad (without Debbie downer partner) and just ask him and then suggest what you would prefer.

Bumblefuddle · 15/04/2018 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 15/04/2018 18:14

Happy 10th birthday OP!

AnneProtheroe · 15/04/2018 18:27

OP it looks like the mn anti-birthday squad are out in full today. Hmm

You could phone your dad and remind him that you'll be away on the day - however, getting back from hols and having birthday cards to open will be nice too. Smile

Original poster
Polly345 · 15/04/2018 19:50

Ok, yep it does like the mm anti-birthday squad are out in force.

The original plan was to travel abroad to see my son on my birthday - he has since returned home. My partner suggested still going away as it is a special birthday.

And, no, I don't normally make any fuss at all about my birthdays - it made me laugh out loud to suggest I was so vain as to regularly take a week off for my birthday - that's the last thing I would think of.

Apart from my partner and my son - my Dad is my only family member within a reasonable distance. It is obviously not the thing to open your cards on your birthday - I just thought it would be nice as I wouldn't be able to see anybody other than my partner :)

But that's me told! lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Polly345 · 15/04/2018 19:52

And why the jokes about 18th or 10th.
Don't people do 30, 40, 50, 60 etc any more?

OP posts:
ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 15/04/2018 20:16

They were guesses of your age based on your level of maturity displayed in your OP.

Waffles80 · 15/04/2018 20:17

Those jokes are because nobody can believe anyone over the age of 10 would be this worked up about a birthday.

HTH.

CheeseGirl4 · 15/04/2018 20:18

Unfortunately some people on this site are arseholes about others wanting to celebrate their birthday. Everyone I know in real life celebrates in some way, and why the hell not? Enjoy your day.

bastardkitty · 15/04/2018 20:21

OP I would never post on here about an adult birthday. It just brings out the posters who will not be happy until literally no one can get a shred of support pn Mumsnet and it shrivels up and dies.

Bumblefuddle · 15/04/2018 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bastardkitty · 15/04/2018 20:24

And to answer my question, if my beloved adult child was going to be away on a milestone (or any other birthday) I would make sure they had a card and pressie before they went.

bastardkitty · 15/04/2018 20:24

*your question

Original poster
Polly345 · 15/04/2018 20:29

Not worked up at all.
Sorry to have posted.
Will think seriously before posting again. I get the points about having cards when i get back - but I would like to have thought he might have liked to have at least said 'have a good birthday' or have a nice holiday.

Won't be posting again that's for sure

OP posts:
iamyourequal · 15/04/2018 20:31

Polly345

And why the jokes about 18th or 10th.
Don't people do 30, 40, 50, 60 etc any more?

Sorry OP but I think most posters just found it funny that anyone over the age of 10 could be do absorbed in their own birthday, which from your subsequent posts is presumably your 40th or 50th! Have a happy birthday though! CakeFlowers

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 15/04/2018 20:51

I can’t speak for anyone else. I celebrate my birthday every year. I have no issue at all with adults celebrating birthdays. It just sounds incredibly immature to be sulking about your father not sending you a birthday card to arrive a week before your birthday. When it hasn’t yet happened! Grin I mean we are talking about a fortnight away. So he may or may not send the card early. But you are already whingeing as if he hasn’t sent you a card for your birthday.

Has he actually told you he won’t send one early? And if so is that because you have already asked him when he isn’t sending your card?

MadMags · 15/04/2018 21:01

If your son is old enough to have been away, is this your 50th?

I actually don’t understand your post. Are you upset that your dad hasn’t sent you a card early so you can take it with you to open while you’re away? Do you realise how mad that is?

MsSquiz · 15/04/2018 21:03

I am very much pro birthday - fuss, cakes and cards but I think if you choose to go away for your birthday, you can't dictate or assume people will send cards or gifts so you receive them before you leave...
your card/gift will be there for your return, you won't miss out on anything, it's just 1 less card to take with you

schmoozypoo · 15/04/2018 21:24

My Mum will post my card to me before my birthday even if she is going to see me the day after and always has. A card and a stamp can cost under £1 but for my family it is the thought that counts, and to know that people care. Not everyone thinks this way.

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