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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend refusing to come to my house?

38 replies

EnternallyTomorrow · 15/04/2018 11:10

Backstory if relevant. I lived away at uni, then travelled and then lived with my mum and saved up a deposit and now live in my house for the last 2 years.

Friend didn’t go to uni and bought a house very early on. So always the norm to go to hers.

Every time we meet up it’s always at hers. So I started suggesting why not for once she comes and sees my place. The excuses are ridiculous...

She doesn’t like city driving. I don’t live in a city. I live a 10 minute drive from a city.

She doesn’t know the way. It’s practically a straight road to mine Hmm

It’s s 15 minute drive at most.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 15/04/2018 11:11

Some people are a bit wet about driving places they don't know. Or maybe she prefers to be able to drink?

IAmWonkoTheSane · 15/04/2018 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TSSDNCOP · 15/04/2018 11:13

Maybe she prefers to be the hostess.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 15/04/2018 11:14

Do you buy rubbish coffee??

ShitAtFancyDress · 15/04/2018 11:15

driving anxiety?

I used to hate driving to new places. I found it really stressful. It's easy for others but not for me.

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 15/04/2018 11:16

I am scared of driving to places I have never drove to before.

Original poster
EnternallyTomorrow · 15/04/2018 11:18

My place is off a main road she has driven down countless times.

I get driving anxiety but a 15 minute drive on a straight road only having to turn right once can’t be that stressful.

She doesn’t drink alcohol.

OP posts:
ShitAtFancyDress · 15/04/2018 11:21

What do you think the real reason is?

starkid · 15/04/2018 11:23

Try offering to pick her up and bring her round, then see if she makes another excuse up

IAmWonkoTheSane · 15/04/2018 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/04/2018 11:25

Maybe she hasn't understood how much you'd like her to come to your place. She'd prefer to avoid the drive for whatever reason, and is happy to host, so probably can't understand why you keep asking her.

Shinycat · 15/04/2018 11:25

I have a friend who wouldn't come to my house (some years back,) because it was 'in the sticks' - It was ONE mile off a main A road down a country lane. And only 10 miles from her.

So in the end I just stopped going to hers. We just drifted apart after a few years....

Shinycat · 15/04/2018 11:26

That should be 'I HAD a friend!'

Excited101 · 15/04/2018 11:28

That is so weird. Definitely ask her kindly but outright.

TheOriginalEmu · 15/04/2018 11:29

I get driving anxiety but a 15 minute drive on a straight road only having to turn right once can’t be that stressful

well, yes, it can be. At my worst there was 3 places i could bring myself to drive and that stressed me out awfully.

But, it may not be that, there could be any number of reasons. if she's your friend then either talk to her and find out why, or just go to hers.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/04/2018 11:30

Area you live in? Doesn't like using other people's toilets? Crap coffee? No sugar? House not clean? Next door to an ex-boyfriend?

Jaxhog · 15/04/2018 11:32

Maybe she can't be shagged to travel? I have a friend like that. Does she go to other people's houses?

Appuskidu · 15/04/2018 11:33

Do you like in an areas she considers ‘rough’?

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/cat/pet rock collection that she hates/is allergic to?

Have you actually asked her?

Easilyflattered · 15/04/2018 11:36

Do you have pets? Does she have pets? Is this to avoid animals?

Original poster
EnternallyTomorrow · 15/04/2018 11:37

*Area you live in? Doesn't like using other people's toilets? Crap coffee? No sugar? House not clean? Next door to an ex-boyfriend?^

Live in a really nice area to be honest. A millionaire lives in the house next door .. I live in an apartment but I’ve seen the extravagant pool parties from my balcony Grin

No ex partners and she wouldn’t know if I had crap tea or coffee as she’s never bothered to come over before.

Dunno about the toilet thing

OP posts:
Original poster
EnternallyTomorrow · 15/04/2018 11:37

No pets at mine either

OP posts:
RoundaboutSnail · 15/04/2018 11:40

It could well be driving anxiety or some other phobia.

Why not ask her to get a taxi or public transport the first time? If she still says no you will know it isn't the driving that is bothering her.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/04/2018 11:41

Scared of heights?

QuiteCleanBandit · 15/04/2018 11:43

It sounds like she still wants the dynamic of her as "home owner" and you at home/renting and doesnt like the change.
People are odd !

SeaCabbage · 15/04/2018 11:49

Ask her?