Friend refusing to come to my house?

[EnternallyTomorrow]

Backstory if relevant. I lived away at uni, then travelled and then lived with my mum and saved up a deposit and now live in my house for the last 2 years.

Friend didn’t go to uni and bought a house very early on. So always the norm to go to hers.

Every time we meet up it’s always at hers. So I started suggesting why not for once she comes and sees my place. The excuses are ridiculous...

She doesn’t like city driving. I don’t live in a city. I live a 10 minute drive from a city.

She doesn’t know the way. It’s practically a straight road to mine

It’s s 15 minute drive at most.

Is she worried your place is better than hers perhaps?

She's a friend, friends should be straight with each other.

Tell her its been great her hosting all the time and you appreciate it, but its only fair now you both have homes you alternate visiting each other. If she continues to resist tell her how hurt you are she appears to be coming up with multiple problems which are solvable just to avoid visiting you and ask what the real problem is?

I'm very odd about going to people's houses. I can't really explain it. I can just about manage going for a coffee but even if it's a really nice house and a good friend I'm very relieved to go. But I'm not massively comfortable having guests to mine either so maybe I'm not quite the same as your friend.

I would choose to meet somewhere neutral. That's most comfortable for me.

She sounds lazy and a bit selfish. I'd just ask- "xx it's your turn to come to mine and I want you to see my house! You've driven down the road before so you know the drive isn't bad. I want to host for once and always make the effort to come to you, be fair."

Is she a tad jealous that your place is better than hers?

I would ask her if there’s any particular reason why she doesn’t want to come and see your place?

Stop acting like a child and ask her already.

She just doesn’t want to come, she wants everyone to come to her. Tell her it’s not fair to always be the one travelling and you would appreciate her making the effort at least occasionally. Sometimes friendship means doing things you’re not 100% happy with

Is your house scruffy?!

I jest.

Some people just love to be hostess. My friend is the same. I hate people in my house so it works for us.

I wonder if she has some sort of anxiety problems?

How is she about going out places? Will she go to new places, or does she insist on going out to the same old familiar places?

I have a friend who is struggling with agoraphobia and OCD, it’s improved a bit so that she’s no longer completely housebound but she still finds going to unfamiliar places very very stressful.

Yeah it easily could be a phobia/OCD/anxiety.
I'd approach it gently if you're going to.

She's being an arse, wants to keep playing the one-upman ship game.
I bet she secretly hates it that you've bought a house and she can no longer pretend she's 'superior' to you in some way.
Either that or she's just a lazy, selfish cow.

I'd just stop going to hers until she changes her attitude - and i wouldn't accept silly excuses, i'm sure it would have been obvious before now if she had anxiety/driving issues re travelling places.....

Just ask her.