AIBU to ask well-dressed women: how comes you are welldressed?

[ConfusedWife1234]

This might be a stupid question. I noticed that there are some women who are like naturally born welldressed. How did you acquire this skill or were you really born with this?

I am currently in process of changing my wardrobe, I had my colors done, spend a lot on clothes lately but still not happy with the result.

AIBU to ask. Does any of you feel welldressed or do you feel illdressed just as me. I noticed most of my friends think they have no style.

AIBU to phrase it like this: How comes I have no idea how to dress stylish?

Ok I bite I get a lot of comments about being well dressed and always looking sharp or well groomed, so am not intending to show off. I have a very ‘vintage’ looking face and quite pronounced hourglass figure. A lot of contemporary fashion really doesn’t do anything for me. The key for me to be well dressed lies in knowing what suits you rather than following current fashion dictates. Ever since becoming an adult, I have worn a lot of vintage late Forties to Fifties clothes and make all the rest of my clothes, lingerie, handbags, shoes and even hats myself. Unlike modern clothes, these garments fit me like a glove. And because I build up an extensive collection over years, especially when it was still fairly cheap, it’s not as expensive as regularly buying new clothes. Hence I have a huge wardrobe and over 400 pairs of shoes, as well as hundreds of hats. It’s part of my business to look well groomed, as it promote my designs. As I have trained in vintage couture sewing techniques and collected many original patterns, I can save a fortune making my own clothes with the right kind of interlining and other tailoring techniques. This means that the clothes really hang a lot better. So, I would say the key is really about finding your own style independently of whatever the fashion trend is. Have you got a contemporary or historic fashion idol whose style you admire? Perhaps there is someone with a similar physique and shape to you, who looks good to you. Perhaps try to emulate that style and experiment. Also, think of hair colour and style to really complete a look. I would say that I’ve always had my own look/sense of style from as early as I can remember and made my own clothes even as a kid. So yeah, maybe I was born with it. Hahahaha, I would flick my hair now in a L’Oréal fashion but I have it set in pin curls for an event tomorrow. Part of being well dressed means paying attention to small details, including even glasses and jewellery. And I never have to worry about what might be in fashion and can avoid expensive mistakes.

Oh, and my mother, grand-mother and great grandmother wore amazing clothes, so I guess I grew up in a stylish environment that probably greatly influenced me. I’d start simple with one great pair of trousers, skirt, blouse, top and coat. Then build up from that. Those items don’t need to be the latest fashion. If they don’t suit your body shape and are unflattering then look at different time periods of the sort of fashion style that might suit you. Ditto for hair styles.

I think just wearing clean, non-crinkled clothes that match goes a long way.

Temptress - I have a slight crush on you

My GM was a seamstress and made the most wonderful clothes for herself and my DM.

I keep telling myself I should start doing this.

I think you are right about clothes fitting.

A lot of women (myself included) wear clothes to hide our figures thinking it's more flattering. I'm not sure that's really true.

Your wardrobe sounds amazing :-)

As I grow older, I attribute it to executive functioning skills. If I could get my shit together every morning for thirty minutes, I would look put together. However, I am really chaotic and disorganised and i struggle to make the time. I work in a school and I look groomed-ish most of term times. In the holidays, I don't have the skills to find the time. More and more when I see consistently groomed people, I am just so impressed by how organised they are.

I love the contrast in the attitudes of the first two people to reply

Try on the clothes you have. Take photos of yourself and really look at them and try and figure out which kind of outfits are flattering you and which aren’t. Also which colors flatter you and which don’t. I think like anything in life, being stylish takes work. The same, when you buy new clothes, try them on, take photos, be honest with yourself.

You know, I love historical styles. I always liked dressing in dresses and skirts far better than wearing trousers and love how women dressed more feminine in the past.

Which is my favorite style, let me think. I guess Middle Ages lol, my dh likes to do historical re-enactment and he likes to give the impression of a knight, currently he is not doing that very much because of health reasons and because he needs to work a lot. We have a lot of friends who are reenactors and I love it. I would not call myself an reenactor but I o like to give the impression of a damsel or of a farmers wife, have different costumes.

At one occasion We were to a rococo themed masked ball and I sewed the costume for dh and me. Well I loved my costume. I did a simplicity rococo pattern, dh did not like his so much however, was not manly enough for him.

But that is not for every day use of course.

Which other times do I like? I do like Regency dresses and like you I do like 1950s, but most unfortunately I do not have an hour glass figure. I am rather skinny.
When I dressed up in rococo fashion I wore a corset and -I do not know the English word- one of those things that make your hips look broader... looked great... but not for everyday use... I actually started wearing a corset under my ball gown too, because I liked it so much when I dressed in rococo style... but would not wear it in every day life... though I heard there are some people who do.

Ok I bite  I get a lot of comments about being well dressed and always looking sharp or well groomed, so am not intending to show off. I have a very ‘vintage’ looking face and quite pronounced hourglass figure. A lot of contemporary fashion really doesn’t do anything for me. The key for me to be well dressed lies in knowing what suits you rather than following current fashion dictates

I second all of that. I do put an effort into it. I probably have around a 100 pairs of shoes but they are almost all neat ballet flat/ low heeled courts- the sort of shoes Audrey Hepburn or Catherine Deneuve were often seen wearing so they don't date.

The other staples of my wardrobe, aside from 40s style tea dresses and 50s style circle dresses, are tailored jackets and dresses from a French designer and a Dutch designer which are beautifully cut and tailored but very unusual styling so they don't date either.

I love hats- proper felt hats with feathers and net, not wooly hats.

I don't own any jeans, t-shirts or trainers.

Do you all wearing your hats every day? I really do like hats but I typically do not wear them on a normal day.

Aaw thanks DarthArts Why don’t you try out some online classes to learn to sew. It just gives you such independence and you can make something well fitting, not to mention more unique. A good resource is Craftsy. They have some great online sewing classes and also courses on how to measure and do fittings yourself. A lot of vintage clothes are more flattering to curvier body shapes. A great fitting bra also does wonders for looking more stylish, as it gives you a far better shape. I make my own, including bullet bras. When you go to the Viva Las Vegas event, you see some amazingly stylish women. And a large share of the most stylish women are plus sized. They look jaw-droppingly hot in wiggle dresses!

@Shadow: So which outfits do I like best. Actually I think I am prettiest when I am a heavily styled but they are not for every day use.

I know exactly where you're coming from OP. My sister is one of these 'well dressed' people. She's probably got less disposable income than me, and she's definitely got a lot less time - but, she just seems to have an eye for style, and she knows what suits her. She can put outfits together effortlessly, and she just manages to look so well put together all the time.
I'm really not sure why I can't do the same. I'll scrub up ok for, say, a wedding or suchlike. But, day to day stuff, I'm fairly dowdy and plain. Because I've no idea about style, I tend to stick with "safe" stuff - it's comfortable, and inoffensive, but I'm very aware that I look a bit crap most of the time. My sister is an artist, and I think that's the difference - she can spot things in clothes shops, and style them together with (for eg) a scarf, and she's good to go. It sounds obvious, but she also cares about her appearance. So, if she's popping out to tesco's for example, she'll choose an outfit, take a few minutes to do something with her hair, and put some basic make-up on. Nothing major, but she looks amazing. Me, on the other hand, because I'm clueless about where to start, I just go to the supermarket wearing jeans and a hoodie.
I think my appearance matters less to me - but, in saying that, I'd love to be more like her. It's just that I don't know where to even start.

I wear hats most days. I have large saucer style ones that are more ‘New Look’ or quite dramatic ones that I wear with suits and daintier cocktail type ones when I go out in the evening. I have summer and winter hats.

@Jock: Same with me. I just do not know where to start but I would love to dress better because it would have a positive impact on my selfesteem.
I know it does when I really chose o dress up and am heavily styled I feel pretty, eg my cousin sometimes gives me such an romantic updo hairstyle but that takes lot of time and it i not for everyday use, such a pity.

I agree with Temptress that it's about finding your own consistent style, including hair and makeup. Temptress sounds like she has an amazing commitment to beautiful clothing, but dressing well doesn't have to mean such a high-level investment!

I have a very pared-back style and dress in variations of the same outfit every day. This might sound boring but actually it just look really well-put together, it means my whole wardrobe works together and people get the sense that I have a recognisable style.

My wardrobe is the opposite of Temptress's. I have six pairs of trousers, a handful of shirts/blouses, a handful of t-shirts, three great jackets, three great coats, three beautiful cardigans, two skirts (a midi and a maxi), three dresses (two smart casual and one glamorous) and some sweaters/knits. For the weekends I have a couple of pairs of jeans and shorts and some sweats. Not sure how many pairs of shoes but definitely less than a dozen. I also have a few scarves, a couple of good bags and some very strong pieces of jewellery.

Everything fits within a restricted colour palette of black, cream (I don't suit white), mustard/old gold, navy, pale grey, and olive. And everything is top quality, both in fabrics (linen, cashmere, high-quality wool) and cut. Because I really only buy a couple of items a year, I can afford to spend a lot on them. If I find a shape or style that I really like, I will often buy two or three in different colours.

I wasn't born with this, I evolved my style over years and only became really confident in it in my mid-30s. Making 'mood boards' by collecting images of what you like and looking for consistent items helps you identify good base pieces that you can build around.

I think if you start of simple with a good fitting pair of trousers, or skirt and nice top, then try out some quick but stylish hairstyling, with a nice lipstick, you are already there. Have a few accessories you can vary your look. I think once you do that and feel good about how you look, you start getting more into it. I don’t actually wear a lot of make up but my eyebrows are well shaped and that makes you look really groomed. Try out tutorials on Youtube on how to style your hair. If you practice then it will be eventually a fairly quick routine and you won’t have to think too much about it. I can do my hair in minutes, even in the dark nowadays Why not do trial runs at home when you have time. I would really recommend doing sewing classes. Learning to do fittings will really help you to find out what might hang well on you and you can develop your own style by being able to make your own clothes.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking You actually described exactly what I tried to suggest to OP. Despite my own passion, style isn’t about quantity but quality. A great capsule collection of clothes that can be expanded and combined in different ways is the answer to dressing well.

@TemptressofWaikiki please adopt me. Just so i can try on your shoes.

OP Im a clumsy dresser. I wear tracksuits and whatever is clean to go about my normal stuff.

When I have to do things which actually require me to wear normal clothes I have a hard time. Why? Because I'm very top-heavy, dont have that hourglass waist and don't have a decent arse.

Its a whingey whinge but if you have a bust that is an 18-20 on top and a size 12 at the hips... its a pain in the hole. I go for stretchy cross over dresses/tops.

Ive always been this shape irrespective of weight and since my teens have worn dark trousers, a shirt and a V-neck jumper in a professional environment. Cant take the jumper off or Id look like I was volunteering to breastfeed, the amount of boob on display: cant get a shirt that is flattering to my waist and conceal the frontage.

I think classy dressing is about sticking to something that suits you rather than trying to suit a style. Im never wearing a crop top. No-one needed it in the nineties and no one needs it now.

Apart from actual style it's a lot about decent underwear and being able to walk well and good posture.

When I was young I liked cute a bit too much because there is nothing cute about me after puberty was through with me.
I worked at developing a business casual wardrobe that was comfy and crisp as well as sturdy. My at home clothes were all the loose floaty dresses and the baggy overalls that I loved.
You can do it. Research what is appropriate for your occupation and shape and then find things within that framework that you like.

I think it's a matter of finding what suits you (and yes, you make mistakes along the way). I come from a family of tomboys, so I literally had to do research into how to wear makeup and heels and lingerie and so on.

Think of people whose looks you like (they can be film characters, for example), and think about what it is you like about them, and how you can make that work for yourself.

For example, I really like the way René Russo's character in The Thomas Crown Affair dresses, but I am not remotely as tall as her, and my colouring is very different. What I liked, though, is the way her clothes are so streamlined, with very clean lines. So I tried to adapt that to my own size and colouring.