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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this man should sort my transport after damaging my car. But he's my boss. What do I say?

75 replies

Ohnonotmycar · 14/04/2018 20:01

This is so outing so I've obviously name-changed but still...

Someone senior in my organisation smashed into my car a couple of weeks ago and only 'fessed up cos they were caught on CCTV. It needs a new door., Which they said they would sort.

Today they rang to confirm arrangements but I missed the call. The message says it will take 2-3 days, which I think is odd just to replace a door as surely it's just on and off. They also said I would need to make arrangements for getting to and from work in the meantime.

Aibu to think wtf? I'M the only adult in my household, as they know, and my commute is20 mins down the motorway. Public transport not really doable, plus I need to be dropping dc off and picking them up here and there.

Aibu to think this man needs to sort this at no cost and minimum inconvenience to me, and if so how do I tell him? Wish I'd gone through insurance now as would have had courtesy car.

OP posts:

timeisnotaline · 15/04/2018 13:41

I’m glad you’re going the insurance route, he’s a cf! You need to work on being more assertive - ‘so you think it should cost me instead because you drove into my car? I’m going through my insurance and they will do this properly, not whatever arrangements you are making that don’t get me to work.’

gamerchick · 15/04/2018 13:41

You can’t trust him anyway OP. Once you hand your car over you could be screwed for ages.

Stick to your guns.

HollowTalk · 15/04/2018 13:45

Is he the HT, OP?

Diamondjoan · 15/04/2018 13:47

I would be losing my shit with him (in the most professional/don’t lose my job way possible) asap. He’s chancing his arm and needs to be put firmly in his place.

zippey · 15/04/2018 13:53

Is this not a hit and run, failure to stop after an accident scenario? I’d think about getting the police involved.

diddl · 15/04/2018 13:55

The minute that he didn't own up was the time to not trust him!

What a despicable person.

Papergirl1968 · 15/04/2018 14:00

Like More I needed a new door after someone drove into me on a car park (bastard didn’t leave their details) and needed a courtesy car for a fortnight. Repairs cost either £1,000 or £2,000, I can’t remember. But I do know there was a possibility of the car being written off due to the cost.
If you went through insurance you’d be very likely to get a courtesy car. Even if you didn’t opt for it as an extra on your insurance, many repair garages have them anyway for customers’ use. I really think you need to go through the insurance.

viques · 15/04/2018 14:10

how does he reckon he is out of pocket already! Unless he has had to pay for repairs to his own car, which is his own flipping fault anyway. He is a gold medal cf. Do not hand over your keys tomorrow, unless it is to the nice person from the insurance company delivering your courtesy car and taking yours to their garage.

I once backed into someone's car at work, completely my fault. I was not sure who the car belonged to but immediately went in and searched for them , apologised , accepted responsibility for repairs and asked what they wanted to do. they had a local garage they used so said they would go there as car was drive able, they also luckily had access to a spare car (!). They gave me the estimate,I gave them the cash. All sorted. It's not rocket science.

RiotAndAlarum · 15/04/2018 14:16

Oh, yeah, why should he be out of pocket - waaaah. Selfish twat.

BlondeB83 · 15/04/2018 14:20

With something like this you need to go through the insurance. You may invalidate if if you don’t tell them anyway.

Dancingleopard · 15/04/2018 14:22

GO THROUGH THE INSURANCE

It could actually affect your any future claims or your policy

Blizzardagain · 15/04/2018 14:36

Tbh I'd be surprised if I were him. It's between you and your insurance company to arrange repairs and a courtesy car surely?

Kirbs1979 · 15/04/2018 14:53

Another reason to go through your own insurers is if you aren't happy with the repairs you can follow complaint procedures and if necessary go to the fos. If you go through the other persons insurance or let them sort out the repairs you don't have the same protection and could be left with a repair you're unhappy with.

Hissy · 15/04/2018 15:01

Call your Insurance company now and find out what your options are.

This guy isn’t going to see you right, and you can’t be left without a car.

bunbunny · 15/04/2018 15:26

Has he at any point given you his insurers details? Or reported it to the police? Or told his insurers?

I think he should have done all of these, regardless of if he was using his insurers or not, so tell them all and if he whinges and whines about you doing so, throw it back at him that you thought he was a decent honest law abiding bloke who would have just done what he was supposed to do when he had an accident and that you're disappointed in him to have been shown that he's not. And worse that he expected you to avoid doing your civic duty and to be out of pocket for him too.

Would definitely flag it up with somebody who is senior to both of you and say that you have been left feeling very uncomfortable by his behaviour and expectations in dealing with this, just to get something on record if he starts to go off on one when you involve insurers...

And why no emails? That doesn't sound good either - like he doesn't want to commit anything to writing...

ChasedByBees · 15/04/2018 15:30

It’s quite dodgy he was using his seniority to pressure you into a worse deal that means you’re out of pocket.

Original poster

ohnonotmycar · 15/04/2018 15:45

Just had a curt text with all his details and asking for mine. I'm relieved it's going through official channels now, should have done it in the first place.

OP posts:

Original poster

ohnonotmycar · 15/04/2018 15:46

Why does he need my details though?

OP posts:

ChasedByBees · 15/04/2018 15:48

He has to tell his insurers your details so they know who to speak with / to expect a call from.

RiotAndAlarum · 15/04/2018 16:08

Good. Very ungraciously done, though!

WhereDoLostSocksGo · 15/04/2018 16:13

ohno
its standard and isnurers will just argue it out now. his insurer needs your details so thats why. hes an arse and could have done this so differently! not down to you tho so just comply!

Homemenu1 · 15/04/2018 16:32

IS he your head teacher? If not speak to them let them know, or if a big school your head of department

TeasndToast · 15/04/2018 16:48

Often if your own insurance provides a courtesy car, the at faults persons insurance calls and asks that you use their courtesy car and garage instead as it’s cheaper for them. They then cancel your own insurance from doing anything and your insurance doesn’t go up as they don’t do anything. This only happens in cases where there is no dispute (like in your case) as it saves the at fault insurance money. Your insurance is unlikely to go up, take the offer from his insurance company when they call you.

AviatorShades · 15/04/2018 17:05

Well done,OP!

timeisnotaline · 15/04/2018 17:14

Make sure everyone at work knows he’d never have owned up, you had to catch him on cctv !!

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