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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this man should sort my transport after damaging my car. But he's my boss. What do I say?

75 replies

Ohnonotmycar · 14/04/2018 20:01

This is so outing so I've obviously name-changed but still...

Someone senior in my organisation smashed into my car a couple of weeks ago and only 'fessed up cos they were caught on CCTV. It needs a new door., Which they said they would sort.

Today they rang to confirm arrangements but I missed the call. The message says it will take 2-3 days, which I think is odd just to replace a door as surely it's just on and off. They also said I would need to make arrangements for getting to and from work in the meantime.

Aibu to think wtf? I'M the only adult in my household, as they know, and my commute is20 mins down the motorway. Public transport not really doable, plus I need to be dropping dc off and picking them up here and there.

Aibu to think this man needs to sort this at no cost and minimum inconvenience to me, and if so how do I tell him? Wish I'd gone through insurance now as would have had courtesy car.

OP posts:
Original poster
ohnonotmycar · 15/04/2018 12:21

FFS just had the most awkward conversation of my life with him. He expects me to pay for a hire car or arrange lifts (with who??) and stated he is already so out of pocket for this that it wouldn't be fair for him to have to pay!! Wasn't arsey, just seemed genuinely shocked that I would be expecting him to pay this/that I haven't got a queue of people lining up to give me lifts for 3 days.

We left it that he's going to think it over but I'm due to hand over my car to him in the morning and could then be stranded!

OP posts:
AlexanderHamilton · 15/04/2018 12:23

Enough is enough. You must go through insurance now.

Homemenu1 · 15/04/2018 12:26

Text him and tell him you can’t afford it either, so will go via insurance and then go via insurance

insancerre · 15/04/2018 12:27

Yabu to not go through your insurance company
It's what you pay insurance for
Yabu to expect the other person to sort out your transport
That's what your insurance is for

BadlyParkedRangeRover · 15/04/2018 12:29

Insurance. He's a twat

trojanpony · 15/04/2018 12:31

Jesus wept.
Don’t let him make decisions about your car.

Everyone has already told you GO THROUGH INSURANCE
I get that you don’t want the premiums ( I wouldn’t either) but unfortunately this guy is a grade A dick so in this scenario Insurance is your least bad choice.

MyLawnMowerMan’s suggestion is 100% what I would do.
But for the love of god do not give him your car tomorrow.

FluffyWuffy100 · 15/04/2018 12:32

Go through insurance. He’s a dick.

Original poster
ohnonotmycar · 15/04/2018 12:33

Well I've just rung my insurance to check why this isn't considered an accident and the person I spoke to says I am covered Confused. I think they've gone paperless so I haven't got documents and the attachments they sent with the email policy won't open as are password protected and I can't open them. I took the person's name who told me I'm entitled and think I'm going to go with that.

OP posts:
pinkmagic1 · 15/04/2018 12:37

He should be bending over backwards to assist you and giving you lifts himself if needs be under the circumstance. You should definitely not be handing your car over to him. If he wants to settle outside of insurance, he should be paying for your car to be fixed at a garage of your choice.
Like pp have said, I would definitely go through your insurance. Just politely, but firmly tell him this is what you will be doing, by text is fine. Do not let him take the piss any longer.

turnipfarmers · 15/04/2018 12:48

I wonder if he doesn't have insurance so is hoping to avoid you going through your insurance company?

Have you got his registration number? If so you can check online if his car is taxed and insured.

diddl · 15/04/2018 12:49

"he is already so out of pocket for this that it wouldn't be fair for him to have to pay!! "

Should drive more carefully then.

I'm absolutely try to something about him doing nothing until found out.

Bloody git!

Don't feel sorry for him at all, Op.

endoflevelbaddy · 15/04/2018 12:50

This is an accident, the wording around courtesy car eligibility means you can't get your insurance company to provide a courtesy when yours goes in for a service or mechanical work for example.

The body shop it's going to may have courtesy cars available for use, most garages do. If that's not the case he pay for a hire car or puts through insurance as pp have said.
His company will then usually do all the running around and provide a car for you (I got a rather lovely Jag XF for a month the last time someone ran into me so I wasn't even stroppy about how long the repairs were taking ).

It may well impact your renewal price (it did mine, and it's utterly shit when it's so obviously not your fault) but I shopped around and halved the quote my insurers were offering so ended up being quite positive in the end.

Original poster
ohnonotmycar · 15/04/2018 12:55

Well, I've texted him to tell him I'll be going through insurance as it'll be easier all round. No reply as yet.

OP posts:
LifeBeginsAtGin · 15/04/2018 12:59

What a dick.

I bet he wouldn't be so obstructive if you were a man!

CrochetBelle · 15/04/2018 13:00

I don't understand why people consider not going through insurance for things like this - the fact he only owned up due to cctv shows he was always going to be a dick about it.
That's what insurance is for!

LotsToThinkOf · 15/04/2018 13:02

Check with the garage you're using, they will probably have a courtesy car available. 2-3 days does sound about right, you'd be lucky to find a reputable garage who can just fit you in and get it done in a day as it doesn't work like that even on the simplest models of vehicles.

Go through the insurance company (as you should have done in the first place) for piece of mind. The man doesn't sound that bad but you should be organising your own repair so that you are happy with the circumstances, cost and time frame. Then you tell him what is happening.

Going against the grain, it's not this man's fault that your circumstances mean that life without the car is difficult - out of decency he should help you out but have you considered what you would do if it developed a mechanical fault? Or if work on it for a service took longer than planned? You need a plan B rather than demand that this man pays for a car for you if your insurance won't. Accidents happen and I doubt a court would hold this man responsible for your transport issues even though he caused the damage.

LotsToThinkOf · 15/04/2018 13:06

Just read your update - why is this his responsibility? You shouldn't be handing your car over to him, once someone starts work on your car without the authority from the insurance company then you won't be able to have any work connected to that problem fixed through them as it invalidates it.

Sort out your car and sort out your transport - this is your responsibility as an adult!

Homemenu1 · 15/04/2018 13:11

Good well done, just keep saying the same thing, that it will be easier and cheaper to go through the insurance

Flobalob · 15/04/2018 13:12

He's probably not insured, which is why he wants to sort it out privately and not fessing up to the accident in the first place.

Original poster
ohnonotmycar · 15/04/2018 13:13

FFS Lots, of course it’s his responsibility. He bumped into my car through sheer carelessness and I had the stress and hassle of getting the CCTV looked at to find who’d done it. It took a while, and throughout those hours I was worrying that it wouldn’t be on there/would be someone we couldn’t trace etc etc. And all along it was someone is a position of responsibility and authority. It was shit, and work is stressful enough as it is.

If my car broke down I would hire one if I had to, but that would be just one of those things. This isn’t and was entirely avoidable by him looking where he was going. I always have MOTs/services done in the school holidays so my commute won’t be threatened – just one of the many ways I put school first all the fucking time and this is the thanks I get!

And I let him sort it initially because he asked me to – it wasn’t at my own insistence. I contacted the insurance to tell them there’d been an incident – you know, like an adult.

OP posts:
WhereDoLostSocksGo · 15/04/2018 13:21

if its a no fault claim on your part then i cant see why it would make a difference to your renewal (hopefully)

id just ask him for his insurance details - go through insurance as it its any other no fault claim (well no fault on your part - it is on his but his insurance will have to argue it out)

is he the most senior person in the company? if not, i would be having a word with his manager

LotsToThinkOf · 15/04/2018 13:27

But unless he owns the school then your dedication isn't really relevant however unfair this is!

You cannot rely on other people for things like this. He said he'd sort it out, but there's no way your insurance company would give you any kind of assistance once you pass this over to him to sort out. You have to protect yourself, even though he said he'd sort it out he's still not responsible for your transport issues. Accidents can't be planned for, you need a plan B for when they do rather than just getting annoyed about it.

The garage will need the car for a few days, if it was a simple as door off/door on then you could buy a car door and do it yourself.

SecretTerf · 15/04/2018 13:32

Glad you’re getting it sorted through the insurance.

I’d also be taking this further, with his boss and/or HR. Or just looking for another job.

mickeysminnie · 15/04/2018 13:33

I think what lots is trying to point out is if he takes it to some dodgy garage who do a crap job you will be in a worse position than if you go through the insurance company.

AviatorShades · 15/04/2018 13:35

As others have said, don't hand your car over to him tomorrow. Please, just don't.

Go through the proper channels - insurance company who will give you a list of their approved garages, or get a quote from one of your own to submit to them for their approval and which will provide you with a courtesy car.

Only when you get the OK from your insurers should you proceed.

(well, that's what I did when i my stationary car got bashed in a car park and the basher didn't want to involve the insurers because his own insurance would be affected-he owned a company which had a fleet of white vans)

Insurers all the way. He's proved himself to be such a flaky person, please don't go down his route.